To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

Completely depends on the size of the slice.

They wouldn’t be ill for days. Food passes through the digestive system pretty rapidly. If it did make them vomit, it would be over and done with. Failing that it transforms from Costco cake to pop and exits the body.

It’s a Costco cake. Personally I wouldn’t choose it as a treat but it is not arsenic. This thread is just showing how wacked our relationships around good have become.

One day we will all die. There is no alfalfa sprout diet that evades that fate, and occasional foods from the less healthy aisles of the supermarket do not lead straight into the jaws of Hell.

Sorry, poo not pop!

@Calliopespa

It’s a Costco cake. Personally I wouldn’t choose it as a treat but it is not arsenic. This thread is just showing how wacked our relationships around good have become.

I haven't had a supermarket cake in probably 5 years but this thread is making me determined to get one this weekend.

Respond with “Well there won’t be an ‘in future’ you cheeky feck”

I wish this were true. I originally meant that they'd happily eat way too much sugar which usually does make them sick for a day or two. Unfortunately I think they must have slow gut transit.

However, this particular cake had beetroot in it (or it did the last time they were offered any) to make it red velvet. The last time they had Beetroot they were in HOSPITAL for three days. Don't naïvely conceive that all someone has to do is poop something out. It causes permanent damage to their gut lining and a serious amount of allergic reaction. And sadly some children have this reaction to sucrose or fructose-syrup which means the malabsorption damage lasts a great deal longer than one lot of poop.

My thoughts too. I have a 16 month old GN who eats more than that.

Who knew Costco cakes were so dangerous

Only if you GORGE on them 🤣

Which is one and a bit slices beware … size of slice still unknown!

Personally I wouldn't leave a young child at a party if they need to carry an epi pen. I would volunteer to help so I could monitor the situation. This at least until the child could manage the allergy without me. All play dates would be at my house for the same reason. It's different at school plus they don't tend to eat food other than what they have for snacks & lunch. I do appreciate it must be stressful though, especially when the child is young.

Anyone else really fancy a Costco red velvet now?? 😅

She's bloody rude OP. Even if she had an issue, the correct thing for her to have done would be to thank you for looking after her child & not ask again if she didn't agree with what you did.

I feel like perhaps that little girl is never allowed treats

Ah how ungrateful, I always offer food and offer some more food ! I don't think you did anything wrong

That packed dinner is lacking in carbs too. I'd be the same happy someone was helping, I might think oh gosh that's a bit much cake but I'd move on and say thanks so much for having her

A diagram would be useful. I give very small slices to children because sometimes they decide they don't want it before it even hits the plate. Then they can have more if they finish the first of course.

It's true I wouldn't mind a red velvet cupcake right now

Anyone else really fancy a Costco red velvet now?? 😅

I bought one yesterday and I’m sure this thread is to blame 😂

Where did parties come into it? I made no mention of leaving my DD at parties.

And even when she was old enough to manage it herself people still got the same instructions.

School is actually one of the worst places because of treats being brought in for birthdays.

Good to know that you, who hasn’t dealt with DD, would do it very differently from me though 👍🏻 She’s just left uni and is still alive so my way of managing it wasn’t as bad as you judged

My two year old would be still hungry after that packed lunch. 🤣

An embryo would still be hungry after that lunch.

You sound like a fab babysitter. My greedy kids would have loved you

Yeah I thought op sounded lovely and as though she had been a really warm and thoughtful host.

Too bad for this miserable, irritable, uptight user of a woman.

Next time ask me oP! 😊 I’ll even send a thanks for having me text.

I was thinking in my head how I would handle it given I have allergies in my family then I wrote it down. I apologise if it came across as judgemental,it wasn't meant to be.

No need to go nuclear because you did over feed her child. I think the rule of thumb is to follow the parent’s instructions even if you are doing a favor. Maybe offering the child one piece of cake would have been ok but you could have caused an upset stomach with even that. You meant well but you did the wrong thing.

The parent didn't give any instructions. Op hasn't gone "nuclear" she hasn't even responded?

She sent a packed lunch with her child.. I think the instructions were pretty obvious.

i think people are being purposely obtuse on here (‘it’s one slice of cake etc!’) no one is saying she couldn’t have given her a bit of extra food or a slice of cake.. but she gave her another plate of dinner, two slices of cake and some popcorn.. it was way too much.

yes, she seems to have done it out of kindness, but not knowing the girl very well then giving her all that food to eat is really quite odd IMO.. almost like she thinks the girl needs feeding up beyond what is normal.. well that’s not OPs decision to make, and obviously caused a problem somewhere along the line.