To have given her extra food?

[jerkorperk]

Last week I looked after a friend's DC for an afternoon as she is going somewhere her DC can't.

I offered. No problem there

She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'

Assuming fussy eater etc I didn't question it and just let her have her packed lunch. We had some lunch alongside her

She had finished what she had and asked if she could try what I was eating. I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't

She ate it all. And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat

She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it. She left a bit of the additional slice. Again, a non issue

I got a harshly worded text from her mum that said 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'

AIBU to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about The little girl is 7. My own daughter is 2

I said the popcorn wasn't in the same sitting?

Anyway, I still don't think it's the horrific crime a lot of posters thing it is regardless.

I know it was about the food, not the length. What I was saying is that you were getting a bit het up.

..... I'm really not het up and nothing in my post suggests i was. I just don't agree with you.

Cool

This is a perfect message.

Honestly, some people need to get a firm grip of themselves. The number of relationships apparently being ruined by parents unable to apply a bit of perspective to a single day of unusual over-eating or unhealthy eating is what is actually causing harm. If you know your children generally eat moderately and good quality food while in your care, there is absolutely no need to over-react like this to any possible aberration when someone had been kind enough to look after your child.

I have a child who on some days will pack away food to the point I genuinely can't understand the physics of where it goes, and on other days will just pick at bits of meals before racing off again to play. The former (surprise, surprise) usually comes ahead of a sudden growth spurt. He's perfectly slim and healthy. And utterly spoilt with treats when his grandparents visit. As it should be.

Two pieces of cake is excessive.

Watching me gorge on food as a child was pleasurable to the adults in my life. Battling a lifetime of obesity from childhood has made me miserable at times.

I think you went too far with the amount you gave her.

Why do you think 2 pieces of cake is acceptable? Plus the cakes from Costco are junk food crap and I wouldn't want my kid eating this unless it was a birthday.

If you had given my child a bowl of strawberries this would have been fine.

Yes, very good message

Does cake get healthier on birthdays?

What a wanker.
If you had refused to give her child any more food, I bet you would have received a "Y said she was hungry yesterday" text.
Tell her that it won't be a problem "in future" because you won't be doing her any more favours.

No but it’s a special occasion. Even then two pieces is excessive.

Depends how big the pieces are surely?

It's ONE day of eating 2 pieces of cake out of thousands of other days where she doesn't.

She didn't even finish the cake, which shows she has self control already.

What you mean is it's a rarity, as is this. It doesn't make it worse because it's not a birthday. It's still once in a blue moon.

I agree with the pp it very much depends on the size of the slice.

Total non issue. Your "friend" can look for someone else for childcare. You didn´t do anything wrong.

I find it shocking that some people are jumping to the conclusion that a child has an eating disorder on the scant evidence we have here. The mum was well out of order, op did a grand job

I'd be texting "there won't be future free childcare on offer after your last message"

She should inform you of allergies/medical info.

If she has issues about cake eating then I personally think it is a treat. End of.

We have a friend and when our children were younger, her daughters lived a strict healthy diet at home. But when they went to tea/other houses these children would raid cupboards and ask for treats. Needs to be a balance..

Christ, it's two pieces of cake. Two pieces! Who gives a shiny shit if she had an extra piece. Her mother sounds like such a fun sucker, it's surely not a regular occurrence.

Agreed. If the child does have an eating disorder, why on earth didn't her mum let op know?

I think offering a small amount of yiur lunch to try, one slice of cake a little popcorn would be fine. I wiuld be annoyed about a full plate of extra lunch and the second slice of cake. Some kids just eat till their stomachs hurt especially when sugar is involved.

IMO a play date at a friend’s and a birthday are two different scenarios.

OP doesn’t state small pieces of cake so I’m presuming it was a normal helping in which case two pieces is excessive.

As I said adults in my life loved to over feed me and my siblings as children. We were obese. Bullied. We’ve never had a normal relationship with food. I can see why a mother would want some boundaries respected for her own child.

Do you tell a child to stop eating? Surely they will eat until they're full and don't need to be told to stop?

I think the second slice of cake was overkill. Surely that could make someone queasy to eat that much? She may have moaned of belly ache, or refused her dinner when she got home.
I can't imagine you'll be wanting to do her mum a favour in future though. But I'd say one slice of cake maximum is probably a good rule to follow.

Really curious to know what was on OP's plate that was shared after the "chicken and grapes" lunch box.

A lot of people with a lot of issues on this thread.

The packed lunch sounds way too small for a 7 year old ... barely any carbs.

How can anyone can get so het up about the occasional over indulgence at someone else's house. Beyond weird.

Fair enough if you were her childminder.

The mum sounds like a control freak, don't look after her DD anymore. Rude.

Maybe the 2 pieces of cake was excessive but everything else perfectly fine. I would rather my child fed and happy not hungry all afternoon. I have a 7 year old and some days the lunch that was provided would be enough for him, some days no way. Yesterday he ate (from 4pm -6.30pm) an ice cream, apple, grapes, dinner of spag bol with a second helping of pasta and cheese, another apple and then some crisps. That is after 2 breakfasts (one before school, one breakfast club), snack and hot lunch at school. Some days I can't keep up with it and some days he literally eats like a bird.

You were doing her a favour by looking after her child so I think as a one off she should have let it go.