DS threw bully’s phone in lake

[CandidBeaker]

DS, 13, and his friend were being bullied by some other children in the park yesterday and a girl was filming him having his books thrown on the floor so he grabbed the phone from her and threw it into the lake. She hit him and then they all ran over to the lake and DS and his friend came home.

I received an angry voicemail from her mum this morning demanding that I pay for a replacement. I was fuming. I’m not paying for a new phone when she was the one who caused it herself by joining in harassing my son. It’s called karma. If she thinks I’m buying a new one she can fuck off. AIBU?

She hit him after the fact.

I hate these little shits who get their phones out to film this sort of stuff

My ds was beaten up by a group of kids after school and a few people filmed it, thick as fuck and deserve to have their phones thrown in a lake imo

First, I'd contact the school and report the bullying reported by your son.

Then, I'd probably say something like: I understand there was some form of incident and the account I've received is concerning in relation to bullying behaviours. I think this should be investigated through (school's) bullying policy in the first instance. Once that's been completed, I'd be happy to discuss any outstanding issues.

(No admissions of responsibility, no offer of repayment).

The truth needs to be ascertained before anyone goes forking out hundreds of pounds for a new phone.

I personally would not be inviting anyone to involve the police. It sounds like there were 4 of them and your son, so witness evidence probably wouldn't be favourable. Whilst they would be unlikely to take any action over this, it could still cause a lot of stress for everyone.

I wouldn't respond further to the mother either. Don't admit to anything.

Contact the school and let them know about the bullying. Advise your son not to take other people's (very expensive!) things. Hopefully the mother has insurance for the phone and will just sort it that way.

Don't respond to the mother, all comms through school.

I suspect there are three forms of the truth here.

Why is it schools problem!

They will just say don't allow them to have phones.

School don't even have time to teach these days.

Karma. Good on your DS!

Report the harassment and violence to the police.

How do you know he has no money? I think parents should be responsible for their children's actions anyway. He's not 5 he's 13.

If that’s the case then, the girl’s parents should hand themselves in at the police station and take responsibility for their daughter harassing, intimidating and assaulting OP’s son.

No, your son did the right thing in the situation

As if the police didn't have enough to do.

I'd want to know the details. It's interesting that he didn't stand up to the boy bully (or the girl bully) but stole another girl's phone. I agree that the whole thing is a school matter. Although if I was the parent of the girl I would be going to the Police.

If he stood up to the bullies, the video would have continued and they would have got more entertainment out of it. Better to snatch someone’s phone and spoil their fun/end the video.

It's very sad that the phone fell into the lake while your son was trying to stop the girl recording him. Total accident but she should have been more careful really

I can see how this happened. The girl filming will have been the only person he could have felt less powerless with as his books had already gone, but she had something he could grab in recompense.
Also just watching her filming and her enjoying his humiliation will have been distressing and enraging for him.

So was the girl who owned the phone joining in on the bullying or filming (or both)?

This is quite a good take !

Maybe he didn't want the footage shared. Adults would see it as proof but maybe not kids.

Interesting, isn't it, how they only judge it by the actual value stolen and pay no concern to the effect on the victim?

So they would bother if somebody stole £1,000+ from Tesco, but not if a poor person lost a few hundred that they needed for their rent/council tax/food. Hmmm.

Not sure the supermarket example holds anymore, given that supermarkets are saying theft is out of control.

It's called karma. Tell mother to keep her brat under control

Oh give over. Do you seriously think the police are going to try and get witness statement from all the children? All of which will differ wildly as the bullying kids try to lie their way out of it. And you honestly think the CPS will then take that to court to punish a 13-year-old? You're delusional.

I wondered this, actually.

Did OP's DS think "Right, I'm going to grab her phone and then throw it into that lake, so that it will be lost and damaged"... or was it just his priority to prevent the filming, so he grabbed the phone from her and it went flying, with there happening to be a lake next to them?

Bearing in mind that the bullies, including the girl with the phone condoning/abetting it, had the privilege of foreknowledge about what they were going to do and when, whereas the victim was forced to act impulsively to fight their actions.

I know it's not the same thing, but if somebody physically attacks you and you try to fight them off, they haven't given you the time - even if you were somehow minded to care - to make sure that you don't hurt them at all, whilst you're struggling to prevent them from hurting you.

She learned the hard way!

Maybe not; substitute 'Tesco' with 'an extremely rich individual' if you will.

Nevertheless, I've read that one of the main problems with shoplifting in supermarkets is that, even there, the police have made it clear that they don't care if it's under £200 - thus giving thieves the green light to freely steal up to £199-worth of goods as often as they like.