DS threw bully’s phone in lake

[CandidBeaker]

DS, 13, and his friend were being bullied by some other children in the park yesterday and a girl was filming him having his books thrown on the floor so he grabbed the phone from her and threw it into the lake. She hit him and then they all ran over to the lake and DS and his friend came home.

I received an angry voicemail from her mum this morning demanding that I pay for a replacement. I was fuming. I’m not paying for a new phone when she was the one who caused it herself by joining in harassing my son. It’s called karma. If she thinks I’m buying a new one she can fuck off. AIBU?

This!!

Potentially yes - but it's dependent on signal etc so not necessarily immediate. but they like to use apps where the content "disappears" like Snapchat. Though it's always amusing to see their faces when they realise that it can be retrieved...
Channel 4's episode of Digital Detectives on the Olly Stephens murder is incredibly sad and will dispel any notion that girls can't be culpable.

Good work DS.

I suggest rewarding him for his behaviour.

if it happened outside the school i doubt it is a school issue

as to whether you pay i dont know

It’s criminal damage, end of. Yes there might be some mitigating circumstances but ultimately your son is responsible for his actions and should replace the phone.

Nobody is going to destroy yours though, because I’m guessing you don’t go around filming people when they are being bullied and humiliated?

So your phone is safe 😊. Leave people alone and you won’t get your phone thrown in to a lake. No need to sympathise with the bullies.

No, it's bonkers to think it would. Even real cases are delayed by months or years, and you have to go to mediation before they'll even consider giving you a court date.

Good on your son, and good on you for supporting him.

Aside from any of the rest, he'll remember standing up for himself, and you standing up for him, into his adulthood.

A bit of a side note, but I really feel for kids today. When I was bullied at school, at least I knew I could come home and get some respite. With social media and smartphones, they can never really escape.

Having worked in those fields, I always encourage people to not give their kid a smartphone (a standard PAYG mobile is just fine) and avoid social media as much as possible. The response I often get is how parents feel guilted to give in as they don't want their child to get bullied for not having it... so instead they give them what is essentially a window into a world of incessant amplified bullying and exploitation, which the parents quite often don't understand or know how to manage as they don't understand the tech involved.

I think you've misunderstood.

I'm not sympathising with a bully. I just outlined what could happen. I'm not saying it will, or indeed if they would be successful, but its a route they could take if they feel strongly enough about it.

I'm not saying they would be vindicated in their actions. But for arguments sake if I felt my child was innocent I wouldn't want to be out of pocket and it's easy done. The OP should be aware as forewarned is forearmed an all that.

Sorry, posted on wrong thread. Reported my post

It sounds like some of the buildup has happened in school so it is a school issue.

I'd say to the parent you're happy to discuss but only in school with HoY etc there too.

It's still a school issue.

Head teachers have the legal power to make sure pupils behave outside of school premises (state schools only).

This includes bullying that happens anywhere off the school premises, for example on public transport or in a town centre.

School staff can also choose to report bullying to the police or local council.

https://www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school/bullying-outside-school

I wish people would research before giving "facts".

They are entitled to do so. Or they can sue now and enforce it when he has the money to pay.

I would report the online bullying to the police and let them back up your son

I’d want to know how they got my number … but no, justice served. Mean kid gets her just deserts, maybe she won’t use her next phone to film people being bullied.

I wouldn't be impressed that he took his anger out on a girl bystander. I'm sure her mum will ring the police and your son will be made to engage with restorative justice.

Being bullied is shit. Obviously that needs tackling as a separate issue.

Rubbish, she wasn't just a bystander and as she hit him maybe she will be the one to face some justice

GOOD ON YOUR SON!

Sick of these pathetic whiny tiktokers who bully other children yet go snivelling to their parents the moment they get a taste of their own medicine

Tell the mother to fuck off, and fuck off some more

That’s what you get for being a bully

Exactly

She was filming him having his books thrown on the floor. That’s how he got her phone. The stories tally perfectly. She’s a nasty little (insert whatever word you like) and she got her comeuppance

Oh fgs.

I mean of course the child being humiliated and victimised by a group and fearing for their safety should make sure that the person recording their lowest moments has a vagina. If they have a penis, it's fine.

Also, the bullied and harassed child should check asses the extent to which the person with a penis is participating beforehand

You bully and get your phone broken? GOOD. This is how we learn to be mature adults (rather than ending up as entitled shits who hurt others). By facing consequences.

I'd message her with:

"I'm not sure if your DD has told you the same version of events as my DS has. One of her friends was bullying my son, damaging his property and she was joining in, laughing and mocking him as he was being attacked. She was recording it on her phone at the time and in anger he grabbed it and threw it in the lake. While I don't agree with anyone damaging or destroying anyone's property (and this includes the boy that was damaging my DS's property too), the phone being lost would not have happened had it not been for your DD and her friend's actions and I will most definitely not be paying for a replacement."

Then block if she doubles down.