DS threw bully’s phone in lake

[CandidBeaker]

DS, 13, and his friend were being bullied by some other children in the park yesterday and a girl was filming him having his books thrown on the floor so he grabbed the phone from her and threw it into the lake. She hit him and then they all ran over to the lake and DS and his friend came home.

I received an angry voicemail from her mum this morning demanding that I pay for a replacement. I was fuming. I’m not paying for a new phone when she was the one who caused it herself by joining in harassing my son. It’s called karma. If she thinks I’m buying a new one she can fuck off. AIBU?

Good on your DS. I wouldn't pay her anything at all. Looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Bullies often put in counter claims of bullying and who is a third party going to believe was the bully, the person who had their phone thrown in the lake or the person who threw it?

To be honest, I'd think it much more likely for a bully to actually steal a phone - at least temporarily - either to gain from/sell it for the value of the phone, or, more likely, to look through it for private photos or messages that they could exploit to intensify their abuse of the victim.

Just trying to get into the mind of a bully, I would have thought that just chucking it straight into a lake would be the last thing they'd do for their 'fun'.

The police will do fuck all. Not for that value. I lost more than £500 recently due to criminal damage. Police know who it is. They are doing nothing as it's not 'important' enough and they need the resources for bigger crime. I complained officially and nothing came out of it.

Definitely involve the school. It'll get worse if you try to deal with this alone.
I completely understand your son's reaction, however that girl will have gone home to her mum with her own story.
Bullying is a big word for a one off incident (not excusing the behaviour) and im not sure this was bullying, but more idiot behaviour.
The mum will be angry at having to replace the phone, so you might have to prepare yourself to pay something towards it.

It's only £70 and if the phone was up to £1000.

I would if someone destroyed my phone.

Bullying is horrendous but how thick are these people that they want it filmed.

The evidence is right there. (Or was).

Did they just let your child get away after that?
It's lucky they didn't go after him and hurt him more thank god.

That's why a lot of people go down the civil route.

He won't get anymore trouble from them 😆 as for replacing the phone.. jog on. She was part of the bullying, filming it to presumably share on social media and among friends.. nice piece of work.

I would say you'd be happy to pay for the replacement phone if she can get you the footage from the phone as it needs to go to the police/school. Along with the names of all the children bullying your child, including her daughters details too obviously. That should see the end of any demands.

Good on your son. I would say the bully got what she deserved.

Don't admit to anything over text.

Presumably this was not on school premises and not in school time. If there are ongoing issues amongst this group, is the school aware of them?

How did she get your number

If she tells the insurance she knows who threw the phone in the lake they will come after the boy responsible. They threw his books on the ground, pretty much no damage done, he threw her phone in the lake and she wasn't the one throwing his books. I'm afraid I think you have to pay for the phone or buy a second hand equivalent.

Three girls and one boy were 'bullying' two boys and two of the group of four were younger, and your son while being bullied somehow got her phone off her, I assume some sort of struggle and threw it in the lake. I think I'd like to hear the other side of the story.

Sounds like a dose of FAFO - fuck about and find out.

Unfortunately whatever any of us think, and however many versions of the truth there are, only one child has caused criminal damage.
Try and sort it out with the parents @CandidBeaker

I wouldn't be speaking to any of these parents directly or texting, block them and go through the school. Also tell your DS to avoid them as much as possible.

How will they come after they boy? He has no money. And parents aren't liable for the damage done by their children.

Especially if their child is being a disgusting little bully, like this girl was.

If I was the girl’s mum I think the penny would be dropping by now what my daughter was up to.

I think all bullying is abhorrent, and what these young people did to your son is dreadful, but he lowered himself to their standards by throwing the phone in the lake, and has made himself vulnerable to repercussions, both from the Police/insurers of the phone, but more importantly to the group of young people who were involved.

I will start by saying that my ds was bullied very badly. I do think that she deserved to have her phone thrown in the lake and I understand exactly what bullying does to people.

However. Unfortunately he’s thrown an expensive piece of someone else’s property into a lake. There is no evidence of the bullying. But there is plenty of evidence that your ds threw the phone in the lake - he’s admitted it, for a start and they saw it and the phone is missing. They could reasonably involve the police and your ds could be done for committing a crime. Bullying, even if admitted (very unlikely) is sadly not a crime.

The law is always on the side of bastards basically.

in your position, I would replace the phone and smooth things over with the girl’s mother. Who is probably also a bully.

we’re fucked as a society.

I'd be inclined to reply that they are welcome to report to the police and your son will happily give his account of how she assaulted him. Call their bluff.

How do you know he has no money? I think parents should be responsible for their children's actions anyway. He's not 5 he's 13.

They can apparently be liable for their own negligence in failing to supervise or teach their children. Like (I would think) telling them you don't deliberately destroy other people's property.

Even if he has money they can't take it. Do you think they'll raid his piggy bank?

'Should' is neither here nor there, parents aren't responsible according to the law.

She didn’t assault him though. And bullying is sadly not a crime.

Good for him!