To opt out of this insane work practice?

[Acunningruse]

I started a new role 3 months ago. Everyone else in the team has been there for years and they are a very established group (but have been very welcoming to me). I discovered the other day, that the "rule" in the team is that when it is someone's birthday, everyone buys them a card, you write it and send it TO THEIR HOME ADDRESS!

I just cannot get my head around this. There are 12 of us in the team. It is just so wasteful- 11 individual cards and stamps whereas we could just send one- or better yet- give it to them in the office!!! We see each other every week!

The waste is huge not to mention the fact that I can barely remember my own family's birthdays, let alone 11 people I've just met?

These are lovely women and the last thing I want to do is cause offence but I really do not want to participate in this. How can I opt out without causing offence?

Send an e-birthday card, just set reminders in your work calender. No address needed just email.

There's nothing wrong with the new "fresh set of eyes" coming in and declining to participate in this unnecessary silly very female tradition. Be upbeat and cheerful and go with the, You Do You but I will pass.... Others might be grateful.

It puts pressure on everyone to share their address, and some people have good reasons not to, including past domestic violence and/or stalking, child protection from parental kidnapping (a very real concern after divorce or separation for some), protection for an adopted child, etc. They should not be put in the position of having to refuse to share their address.

I would refuse because I would not want to share my address with work colleagues.

It is hard but just say very little, I'd say 'oh thanks for the offer but I prefer to keep my home address private'.

I might make the others think. She participates without rocking the boat. The OP has already said she's prepared to give cards, but not post them to home addresses. Giving and receiving cards is actually quite a nice way of marking an occasion.

It's a bit ridiculous and a bit wasteful, but really not that big of a deal. I'd just buy a pack of cheap cards, write them and set calendar reminders to send them. It sounds like your colleagues have been warm and welcoming, so rather than thinking the worst of them, assume it's done with kindness and just go along with it.

A 2nd class stamp is 85p. There are plenty of reasons to object, but cost isn't one. Presumably you'd buy your colleagues a cup of coffee.

In your world maybe. It's a complete waste of money.

It got lost in the mail

Next!

There have explained it for you:

"As previously stated, the UK GDPR considers your home address as personal data. Therefore, if an organisation reveals or shares your home address without a lawful basis to do so, this is a breach of the UK GDPR. However, not every breach of the UK GDPR will result in a valid personal data breach claim".

There's also the privacy reasons.

If everyone wanted to share their personal home addresses at work, there could be all sort of things happening and going wrong.

This is why HR/payroll generally only have employees home addresses.

That's nailed it. Definitely the answer.

This is the kind of situation that leads to Interflora having a website option to send flowers to a given person at a X number of random times throughout the year, without notifying the sender. Job done. What could go wrong?

I can't see how willingly giving out your address for birthday cards would be a GDPR breach. If you feel pressured into it, perhaps, but you could just say no.

Plenty of my former colleagues have had my address and vice versa, but it was done through choice (usually for coordinating lifts to/from the pub, or occasionally to work,) and it's something that happened over years, as things were needed. I've also dropped people off on street corners when the requested, as they were happier with that.

It's a bit bonkers but I'd just do it - although I'd have to diarise in advance and give myself a few days. I'd probably just buy a stack of cards suitable for anything and send it. The problem is if the team are close and they have been there for years and you haven't, then you risk being a bit alienated "she wouldn't even join in sending a birthday card... we did try to include her!" I wonder if there will be snarky comments if someone forgets (as I'm sure I would!)

All your colleagues know your home address?
Bugger that.

I can up this! When I started in a new office years ago, the whole team of 8 not only sent each other a physical bday card (posted to home address if the bday person was on leave) but also included £20, every year, to every other person's card!! (£25 on "big" birthdays)

Obviously it effectively all cancels out but the amount of palaver when, as OP says, I have my own family and friends' occasions to remember, as well as LIFE, was bananas 😂

E-card from Moonpig

Came on to suggest e-cards, used them during postal strike, really enjoyed picking a video I thought they would like, got positive responses from the recipients too.

sounds lovely and something we've done if the person won't be in work in time to be handed their card and present before their birthday

I'd just do it. They're lovely, you like them, it's established tradition but honestly posting a card is fine! Buy 11 cards next time you're at the supermarket, set 11 reminders in your phone now. It isn't that big a deal

It's not just a female thing, but a British thing. DH has a colleague just over from Italy. I met her and she mentioned how odd she found it that people spend money on cards when they can just wish someone a happy birthday or send them a text. It does seem just like a way to keep the card industry going. I wonder if it's just us, or if other nationalities give cards to colleagues?

I've never been so happy to be working with only men, we barely even say happy birthday to each other. No collections or other annoying office chores. It's perfect.

It was def a woman who came up with this rule.

Of all the hills to die on OP... seriously pick your battles. You may soon find yourself disagreeing with them on something that truly matters rather than just represents a minor inconvenience.

I'd say no. You are an individual and have every right to make your decision on this. This is clearly a long established practice with people who have known each other for a long time and you don't need to commit to it.
I'd make a sweeping comment about never sending cards, don't need to make a big thing of it.
Enjoy your new job!