To opt out of this insane work practice?

[Acunningruse]

I started a new role 3 months ago. Everyone else in the team has been there for years and they are a very established group (but have been very welcoming to me). I discovered the other day, that the "rule" in the team is that when it is someone's birthday, everyone buys them a card, you write it and send it TO THEIR HOME ADDRESS!

I just cannot get my head around this. There are 12 of us in the team. It is just so wasteful- 11 individual cards and stamps whereas we could just send one- or better yet- give it to them in the office!!! We see each other every week!

The waste is huge not to mention the fact that I can barely remember my own family's birthdays, let alone 11 people I've just met?

These are lovely women and the last thing I want to do is cause offence but I really do not want to participate in this. How can I opt out without causing offence?

I'd suck it up and do it. For a year.
Then when you're established, start to talk about alternatives. Get a few people on side and then propose a more palatable option to the rest of the group.
As for all those horrified about giving out your home address...what do you think your work colleagues will do with this information?!

Really? Even a cheap card at 59p plus a 2nd class stamp at 85p is £7.34 per person.

That's a total of £78.73 being spent each year by this team just sending bloody cards to one another. Absolute navel gazing IMO. Especially when plenty people have no space in their budget for luxuries for themselves.

52 replies and no concern about identity theft ?

I only give my home address to people and institutions with a reason for needing it.

Beyond senior managers and a few people in HR when I was working, the average colleague just didn't need it, and none of us ever asked each other if I am honest. It wasn't of interest. We worked in London and commuted in from all over the south east.

At the very least this is breach of Data Protection or whatever in my opinion. Same here, no one needs to know my personal address.

I'd tell everyone that you are against cards on principal due to environmental reasons.

I don’t do cards of any description so I’ve always just told the people I work with this and so far the world hasn’t ended. I’ll contribute to collections if asked - we’d only do those for something bigger like a wedding or new baby, not every single birthday.

When I was in a team of 12. We would have 'winter Wednesdays'. Every Wednesday in December, after spliting into groups of four, we would take turns to bring food in and have a nice lunch together. We had the use of an microwaves and fridges. I opted out of Christmas cards, so did the men, but I know that it was me who got judgement. It is a female thing.

It sounds a bit daft, but does it really matter? If that's what the other people in the office have done for ages, I would just go along with it.

I wouldn't participate and I would be having words with anyone giving my address out.

Its not just one batshit policy, it shows the company has a terrible culture.

@Acunningruse in my old office we only sent a card to the next birthday after ours so only one per year (we were a 13 strong team), this might be a good compromise as you still all get a card but only one to remember and only one per birthday to send!

When you are asked, say for sustainability reasons you are happier to receive a single card signed by the team and to receive it in the office. You can say you don't want to rock the boat for those who already have their way of doing things but it's important to you and that you hope they will respect your wishes (and you don't want everyone to have your home address).

NigelHarmansNewWife Thats a really tactful way to handle it.

How does that solve anything? OP will still have to remember to give cards to 12 colleagues every year. It's utter madness. I don't even get DH a card.

That's mental, I wouldn't want all those cards anyway! What a waste of paper and money.
Just don't do it, tell them you don't expect them to do it for you.
Gradually it will fizzle out

The bit that shocks me is the "sharing home addresses" thing. Do management sanction this breach of data protection? Just, politely, say that you don't want to participate.
If you have to get involved, say that on your own birthday you'll bring cakes into the office instead (which is also old-fashioned, but more usual!).

Where I work, you join an office birthday list if you want to. There's no requirement for everyone to take part. If someone's birthday falls when they're on holiday, they can give the admin person permission to send one card, signed by everyone, out to the home address that the person chose to supply, otherwise the card stays on their desk until they're back at work, bearing cake. There's no way everyone should have everyone else's home addresses.

I guarantee there is someone else who wants this to stop, you'll be doing them a favour by declining to participate.

It's so batshit I'm tempted to start it in my team 😂😂😂

What's the issue with sharing home addresses if individuals don't object?

Tell them due to GDPR you are not giving out personal details to people who have no right to have it.

There isn't one. MNers just love to throw around GDPR even though they don't understand it.

I am clearly a miserable sod.

I am not happy with either my birthday or my home address being made available to my work colleagues.

I do not do cards. I don't really do birthdays, not for any religious reasons, it's just not a big deal for me.

I really hate work being mixed up with private life.

Clearly no-one on this thread has seen the price of stamps lately,

Royal Mail did a number on us, when they stopped putting the price on 1st and 2nd class stamps, so no, I don’t actually know how much they are!

Just buy a bunch of cards at least 11 and keep in drawer at work.

No way would I be giving out my home address for this or any other reason.

I once gave a fake address to a previous workplace and they sent flowers. I hope whoever got the flowers was happy with them.

I was off sick after a car accident and that's why they sent flowers.
They asked me when I got back, did I like the flowers and I just shrugged and said yes. Funny now, but a horrible workplace so I didnt feel guilty.