Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

It sounds like a lovely day out, but not everyone would have the stamina to enjoy it. Booking an all-day trip for someone else without prior discussion is not the best idea, unless you know the person very well and her capacities are similar to yours.

Or. Instead of parents owing people like you "context", you could just accept that they know their own circumstances, they know what fights may or may not be ahead of them, and are perfectly entitled to decide if this thing is worth the aggro to them.

Personally, if I was the parent dealing with my sister, the aggro from the early start and several hours travelling would not be something I would want to do for a few hours in London. I would save that energy for a trip we really wanted to do and had planned as a family.

Pretty much, there's not much that I can think of that would entice me to be ready to leave the house at 6:30 am.

I turn down things that mean I'm out late. Not something that's fun for me. It has to be really worth it for me to not be curled on the sofa/in bed by 9pm.

On the other hand I'm usually awake at 5am (hence hating night time) so things that start early are ideal.

It's almost like we're all different isn't it. Something some PPs are struggling with.

Personally, if I was the parent dealing with my sister, the aggro from the early start and several hours travelling would not be something I would want to do for a few hours in London. I would save that energy for a trip we really wanted to do and had planned as a family.

But I'm not talking about you forcing yourself to do something you don't want to!

Sounds like you would be willing to put up with some inconvenience to do something you'd enjoy ....which is the point I'm making!

take the kids! give Dsis a day off?

Back in the early days of low-cost flights I did it frequently. Dublin, Glasgow, Edinburgh.......even Berlin.

I'd be happy to spend a few hours in London (not top of my list, but I enjoy a day out).

I wouldn't be happy to deal with all the aggro for the same thing.

Maybe OPs sister is the same. She'd enjoy a day out if there was no aggro to deal with. 6 hours in London after dealing with 5 hours of aggro to get there, knowing there another 4 or 5 to get home, different kettle of fish.

We're allowed to decide for ourselves what is worth it. That's the point you're not getting. There's a lot of things I enjoy doing, but do I want to do them enough to fight with teenagers who don't want to be awake, and then deal with their mood all the way there?

All about picking your battles.

Pretty much, there's not much that I can think of that would entice me to be ready to leave the house at 6:30 am.

Fair enough.

Me and my friends are very much 'pack as much into our social lives as possible' kind of people. It would be very unusual for any of us to turn down a social event we wanted to attend because it meant an early start or a late night.
I think we're just used to being perpetually tired so we don't notice it anymore 😂

I think it's a lovely idea for a birthday treat and I don't think you've done anything wrong. Sorry to hear it's not been well recieved, although hopefully she'll come around.

Absolutely this.

@ElaineMBenes

I’m very surprised about all the posters saying they’d love a trip like this. Do people really take 1h30 long flights for day trips?

Yes, there's whole FB groups dedicated to them 😁
Extreme Day Trips being one - people will get up early, sun themselves on a Spanish beach for a few hours and have some tapas and sangria and be back by midnight 🤣😁

We're allowed to decide for ourselves what is worth it. That's the point you're not getting. There's a lot of things I enjoy doing, but do I want to do them enough to fight with teenagers who don't want to be awake, and then deal with their mood all the way there?

I get it.
I guess if I was the OP and I'd gone to the effort of organising and paying for a special treat and someone used tiredness and moody teenagers as an excuse to be mad at me and not go then I'd be pretty pissed off.
Developmental issues aside, people should be able to cope with being tired for a one off event.
I also wouldn't be letting moody teenagers dictate my social life!!

Well you carry on doing you, because no one has judged you. Just also let other people do them, without judging them for having a different idea of what's tolerable and enjoyable than you.

You sound a lovely sister. Your sister sounds rude and perhaps spoilt?

I asked for a night away for my 40th from my mum and sister. They didn't arrange anything and when I found somewhere for £200 for the three of us, my sister said "that would pay my gas bill". So we went nowhere. (No money issues, mum would have paid.)

So what I'm getting to is... would you like to adopt me as a sister? 😊

Personally I can't stand "experiences" of any kind, unless I've had a hand in their planning.

That said, it's a lovely thought, it would be interesting for the kids and it's a bit of a shame she can't step out of comfort zone as the kids might really enjoy it. I've been persuaded to go to things I'd rather not, but find I did enjoy it in the end. I'm not a natural "going-outer" though, so I get it.

She wouldn’t let you take them alone?!?!
Why?
Have you a previous conviction for being an axe murderer?

When mine were that age I’d have happily let you take them and rejoiced at the prospect of a free day or I’d go and leave them. 16 is old enough to mind a 12 year old for a day.

I dunno what it is but in the past few years if i have a busy day or i have to be in the office tow days in a row ( long commute) i am beat then after. It takes me a few days to recover from it, dunno why though. Any bit of ling driving kills m these days. Did two days in a row last week plus had drive a 5 hours round trip sat - so did 15 hours driving in three days. Last day was Saturday and still feeling the tiredness today Tuesday. A few years ago would have been ffine but now not, so if i was OP sister i would be happy with the present however i would be worried about how i feel after. Being so tired after affects the next days after and your day to day life

@Wexone I suppose some people are happy to put up with the tiredness.
I had a really full on weekend and I am still a bit tired today but for me, it was worth it.

We do have a bit of an extreme 'YOLO' approach to life though which needs reigning in sometimes!

sometimes we have to do things like get up early....it's a life skill!

Getting up early doesn't require any kind of special skill - and flying to London for the day is hardly an essential activity

I used to get up for work for 5am most and coped fine, but that doesn't mean I'd agree do it for a day trip.

I also wouldn't force two teenagers to fly to London for the day just to sit on a boat, go up the London eye and have dinner in an airport before flying home again - it sounds like a lot of hassle for very little reward to me.

So you're clueless because you don't have kids ? She's being one of "those" parents. The world and its plans must revolve around her and her little darlings.

She's being ridiculous. You sound like a very thoughtful and generous sister.