Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

God, what a bunch of moaners! It sounds absolutely fine to me - not a an especially long day, and plenty of opportunities for a sit-down.
If she’s that worried about the kids, could they really not stay at home?
Do you think there could some something else going on? Might your sister have developed a fear of flying, or anxiety about terrorism, or something?

You can think what you like. My sister was a lovely teenager in all other aspects, she has some learning difficulties but mostly has turned into a sweet, independent person, although quite naive.

Her developmental issues made it very difficult for her to realise what she was doing when she was dragged out of sleep. My parents did everything they could to try and stop it, but that was our reality.

You know nothing about anyone elses life. We only know what OP has told us, and OP may not know the full extent of any issues her sister faces. My sister's issues weren't common knowledge in the family, because they didn't need to know and may have treated her differently, which my parents didn't want.

But you crack on calling kids you don't know brats. It's really helpful.

"Flying into Heathrow without luggage you'll be through customs in no time and can jump on the Elizabeth line - 25 mins to centre
Might be more hellish for other airports"

Won't be "hellish" from London city where they are flying into.

This is Mn, home of the low-energy types who come home from work and get into their pyjamas by 6 pm.

I wouldn't be keen at all on a daytrip from Dublin to London. Factor in getting to the airports in time for checking in and security and the getting from the airports to town, it's a very long day. I'd feel guilty about you having gone to all that trouble, but I'd have a sinking feeling about the trip.

I think it’s a long trip for Dublin. I would be happy to travel to somewhere like Paris or London for the day but not Dublin.

I think you're an amazing sister and that present is fabulous.

Oh sorry I read it wrong! Dublin to London sounds great! I think the kids would love it and your sister is crazy. Although at least one night in a hotel would have been better.

12 and 16 is plenty old enough for the kids to be at home for the day - the 16 yo is old enough to take change for a day. Maybe suggest this as an option?

I can't believe your sister was angry with you for offering such an incredibly generous present - so expensive, so much organisation! If she doesn't think it would be fun and doesn't like this kind of surprise then fair enough but it's very rude to act angry about it.

I don't understand why the kids can't stay home if they want to at 12 and 16. And your brother's popping in as well.

It's City Airport, with no bags it is perfectly fine to get there one hour before flight time.

Wouldn't recommend getting dinner there though, very few options

Apologies @IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos
Obviously developmental issues are entirely different situation. Although, that bit of information would have been helpful as they way you described your sister was that she just didn't like getting up very early.

However, for NT children an early start and a long day shouldn't be an issue. And I stand by my point about children learning that the world doesn't revolve around them and that sometimes we have to do things like get up early....it's a life skill!

@Bellyblueboy I’d hate a surprise like this but that’s just me and surprises. However, you had discussed a trip and London City is such a doddle and the DLR makes it all so easy this really does take the sting out of it. At 12 or 16 I’d have loved it too.

To be honest, your sister could have been far more gracious about it and I wouldn’t be buying an expensive replacement present. Also, she may come round if you share the logistics and ask
the kids. But really don’t see why 16yo can’t look after 12yo.

I think it sounds amazing and would love a sister to do this for me! You sound really kind and thoughtful, you even included the kids!

I have recently done two European day trips with my children for their birthdays - flying out at 7am and back at 10pm with 9 and 12 year olds - yes we were all exhausted but we had an amazing time.

She sounds like its not her sort of thing, which is a shame cos I bet she'd have a great time if she let herself enjoy it!

But a child's issues shouldn't need to be described for you to accept that some families can't handle the same things as yours.

You never know what's going on behind the MN post. Immediately jumping to bad parenting or calling a child a brat isn't right.

Another one who thinks it was a lovely present OP, and your sister is being a bit of a tool.

If you're 20 minutes from Dublin airport (and stand everyone FastTrack) it's totally doable. The kids can snooze on the plane on the way over, and they'll have a blast here!

The only thing I'd agree with is another poster saying that dinner options are very limited at LCY. Go to the restaurant in the middle of St James's Park and have a decent lunch so you only need something light later - it's a Benugos and has a decent menu.

I am 50 50 on this. I do think its a lovely thought but you know your sis is anxious if she's not in control...and booking non refundable was....perhaps not wise. Personally I wouldn't enjoy it because the early start/late finish and the rush would not be to my taste but that's just me....its still a lovely thought.

❄️❄️❄️😁
They should cope fine, if physically able and healthy.

Maybe your sister cares about the planet and her children’s futures and is shocked at the utter insanity of flying to a different city for a day for leisure. But if we accept that lunacy then such an early start will make it hard to enjoy the rest of the day.

How long are you actually getting in London? Presumably less time than the time traveling / in airports..

If you're leaving the house at 6.30am I'd guess the flight is at 9am or later.. land in London 10am. Even at London City Airport by the time you get off the plane, out the airport and travel to your first point on the itinerary you're not gonna be there until after 11am.

Then coming back if you land at 9pm in Dublin, presumably flight at 8pm. So you'd be leaving your last place in London by around 5pm.

So probably around 9.5-10 hours traveling for 5-6 hours in London.. it sounds exhausting and really not worth the money or effort once you look at the timings. I'm sorry to say!

I thought you were going to say they were younger kids! I don't think you've done anything wrong. I don't understand why the kids can't stay on their own for a day, they hardly need constant supervision at that age! You could just the two of you go. But then I am someone who would find a way, I appreciate others aren't like that.

And it's plenty of warning. I wouldn't like that to be dropped on me for the next day but there's plenty of time to prepare for it

But a child's issues shouldn't need to be described for you to accept that some families can't handle the same things as yours.

If you say so. Being able to cope with an early start is an important life skill. I see too many young people who think starting work on time is optional just becuase they are tired or don't like getting up early.
Tough shit, it's life. Unless there are specific medical or developmental issues then there is no excuse. As for declining holidays and trips because it will tire out your children? Are you kidding?

You never know what's going on behind the MN post. Immediately jumping to bad parenting or calling a child a brat isn't right.

But some children do behave like brats and their parents enable it. That's why context is important.

Being able to cope with an early start is an important life skill.

Getting up for work early is a necessary evil, it doesn't mean I want to do it for a leisure activity.

So you'd turn down leisure activities just because they meant an early start?