Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

I think it sounds like a great trip. Yes, it is tiring, but what great memories would be made! Do people really avoid doing fun things because they will be tired by them? They must miss out on a lot of the fun to be had in life then.

Yes i suppose they are, my sis drives around the country and say she is just used to it. i try not to turn down things cause of it. But its the full body tiredness and it affects my productivity during work and at home. Like after driving two days in a row last week had to go to bed at half 7 the second day , slept all night and dragged my self out of bed at half 7 next day which sometimes makes me think its not worth it. Not too bad when its not a long drive. I wouldn't turn things down but would try and ensure that we have a weekend free to do nothing and relax. i have often if i know i have a hectic weekend will book the Monday off work or go in late to ensure i get a bit of rest. The joys of getting old 🙄😂

Please can I come? You sound wonderful, fun and generous OP and I wish you were my sister

I would avoid the kind of thing OP has planned as it just doesn't appeal, and the travel and subsequent tiredness wouldn't be worth it for me.

If the plan was to go and see a musical and eat in one of my favourite restaurants then the tiredness would be worth it.

I mean, would you spend want to spend several hours travelling to do something you didn't really enjoy and didn't actually have to do?

i have often if i know i have a hectic weekend will book the Monday off work or go in late to ensure i get a bit of rest. The joys of getting old 🙄😂

Oh i do that too!! Planned relaxation time.....although life often conspires against me and schedules something important during that time (9 am sports day the day after I'm at a concert for example!)

I travel internationally a lot for work so i think i am used to having to work while jetlagged so the tiredness I feel after a big weekend is often not as extreme which i think colours my view!

YAprobablyBU to expect a 12 and 16 year old to be up in time for those flights, but in my opinion they are old enough to be left at home (together - 16 yo in charge).

I agree they could be left - especially if the brother is coming in to walk the dog a couple of times.

It's a lovely present and couldn't be lower hassle into City [generous as hell too]. Has she been through City airport before though - it is a completely different experience to Heathrow or Gatwick so if she has no frame of reference....

You will be v close to Stratford on your way back so that might be a good option for a late meal rather than the airport.

I would apologise for upsetting her. It can be cancelled, she can sound out the kids and make a decision. Or you can take the kids solo and give her the day to herself? Or she can go off for a few hours by herself and meet you for the London eye?

It's a long day but the kids are on school hols, they'll be fine. Enough snack bars will keep everyone from hangryness and your agenda seems very chilled. It's more likely once the kids know, it will turn into a mad day of what they want rather than her birthday treat so you may need a quiet word.

You haven't made a mistake though ! You included her children who are old enough to enjoy these kind of things, not as though they are babies ! You have sorted care for her dog as well, it was a thoughtful gift considering it is what you both have done and enjoyed before. Just because some posters wouldn't like it doesn't mean it was a mistake. I bet if her kids knew they would be excited as well !

Unless you can rally a friend to go with you.
Go on your own and have a bloody good time good time i would.
Dont forget to post as much as you can on SM of you having a bloody good time.She can go fuck her self next year she will get a card in the post.

I'd be mad at her excuse. Children arnt toddlers! My kid is 9 but has been doing these long days out since he was 4 and I know plenty other parents the same. No idea why she is mad, but she can't blame her lazy kids for this one.

Also I am surprised by how laid back you are about it, considering how expensive a gift this is! You must have spent / been planning on spending many hundreds of pounds on this trip?

I imagine money isn’t hard to come by given how ungrateful she also seems to be!

Hope you enjoy your solo visit in any case (can you pay to change the names on the tickets and take friends?)

I would definitely not be happy to have someone book something like this without discussing it with me - even with the best of intentions.

OP I think this sounds like a wonderful present. I have two children under 10 and I’d still go for this if a family member paid for it as a present!! The kids would be tired yes but it’s such an adventure. I literally think all the posters saying they’d have a heart attack at someone doing this for them need to get a grip. Honestly, I’ve never heard of such ungratefulness if im honest.

I bet the kids will be gutted if they do find out that their mum has said no to this! But either way, it was a lovely present and I think you should ask a friend to come instead, especially as it’s all paid for.

How old are these people who struggle with a long day or an early start! Obv health issues aside.

How on earth do people cope with real issues if a surprise trip that is supposed to be a trip is a shock

Honestly I knew MN was full of people that think everything causes anxiety but this thread is the thread that keeps giving

Has anyone asked the kids, I bet they'd love to go.

Exactly. I know that on my death bed I would rather be remembering a trip I had taken than feeling like I had a good night’s sleep

But for me life is for living not sleeping

It’s an absolutely fab idea and present. The kids would be absolutely fine going or staying at home at those ages. Unfortunately your sister is being a tit. I hope she comes round and you all enjoy it together. Not sure why you’re getting such a rap about it.

It sounds like a lovely trip, but personally I would hate to be given something like this as a surprise. Much better to discuss plans in advance and make arrangements that suit everyone.

I think she’s been a bit silly really. You know her and know she would appreciate such a day out usually, or you’d not have done it (special notice to the fact she did simile for your birthday, so a reciprocal gift really!). I’d understand if she had small children, I was fully on her side (as a mother of a toddler myself!) until I got to her kids ages!

I don’t think that everyone likes surprises.

Exactly. I know that on my death bed I would rather be remembering a trip I had taken than feeling like I had a good night’s sleep

Doesn't it very much depend on the trip?

Sounds extremely tiring. You would need to take the next day of work too to catch up on sleep.

Sounds extremely tiring. You would need to take the next day of work too to catch up on sleep.

Depends on the person surely?