Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

This is mad, its a wander around London not a treck in the Himalayas, it might leave the sister a little bit tired after a busy day sightseeing with her family, but the OP was trying to do a nice thing that her sister has enjoyed in the past, and infant arranged for the OP.

Being angry at the OP, telling her she is clueless and doesn't understand children is really OTT, everyone gets presents that don't hit the mark sometimes but unless it's something like an iron for valentines day, I don't think the OP should be apologising for it, it sounds like she spent a lot of time, money and effort arranging a nice trip and activities, and ok it might not be exactly what the sister wanted but she is coming across as rude and ungracious.

The sister could have at least asked the kids before claiming they'd hate it. A lot of kids that age will happily forego a lie in as a one off for a city trip.

Well I'd have loved this! Definitely not too much for a 12 and 16 year old. I've done similar with my 7 year old and he managed it fine. A very thoughtful and generous present in my opinion

Can the teens be farmed out to friends for the day/night and go without them? Surely something could be arranged!

I am not going to ask! I am the only person who babysits and I will be in London.

the trip isn’t on her actual birthday so I will still be there to celebrate.

He knows our sister and her kids have first dibs if they change their mind

Sorry but this is ridiculous and unfair to your brother.

Tell sis that she has util Thursday 5pm to decide if she wants to come, other wise you will get the ticket changed to brother's name.

Don't be a mug, please.

but they are 12 and 16, why do they need a babysitter? You're just gone for the day, not leaving them for a week or anything.

Well I’d love you as a sister!!! I think it’s a lovely thing to do, and yes we would book and not tell each other!

enjoy London!

Yes. People will avoid doing unnecessary things that make them too tired.

While I’m okay with my sister not feeling like the trip - I really don’t think this is true for a lot of people.

I do unnecessary things all the time that are tiring! I run, swim, bike, walk to work instead of driving. A lot of what we do in life is tiring!

And my sister is a city break girl - she took the kids to Barcelona last year for three days - they had a ball, and from what I heard barely stopped!

I accept I got this one wrong - but she isn’t normally like this. The views from some here (grotty London, boring trip, up too early, too much hassle, hate surprises, hate day trips) isn’t her normally at all! She booked a trip for my thirtieth to Prague as a surprise.

I totally get everyone is different though and everyone changes. She absolutely doesn’t have to go in the trip.

I think other posters are being too harsh. I’d love this as a gift. Sounds like a really fun day out. Honestly your sister sounds hard work. She has young adults not toddlers!! What great memories you could have made. Glad your brother is going instead. Have a great time!!!

Yes. People will avoid doing unnecessary things that make them too tired.

some people will.
It's not the case in my social circle, we value experiences even if they are unnecessary.

Are the plane tickets transferable? I'd check that first before inviting anyone else as not all airlines allow name changes.

She sounds miserable!

Do you have a friend that might enjoy the trip? Why can't the 16 year old watch the 12 year old for a day? Anyway, I'm glad you're going to go regardless, it sounds like a great day trip.

Your sister sounds selfish her kids are old enough to go , if she refuses don’t ever get her anything again

I would do it if you had booked it for me but I have to say it would be exhausting. I no longer do the early flight to Ireland. The getting up stupidly early, hanging about the airport tired, the long tube ride into London, then the day in London and all in reverse. Short flights can be really tiring too

OP, you sound lovely and caring. Fortunately your brother will join you. Have fun!

Well you've accepted you got this wrong and if you can go with your brother that's a solution. Pity to have created the problem in the first place.
I feel for your sister as it put her in an awkward position - I hope she doesn't feel bad about declining.

I think you should fo back to her with a plan including plans for breaks and talk to her about concerns. If she’s anxious she might have knee-jerk catastrophised the whole thing!

I am just leaving it for now. I suspect there is something else going on, as she is not normally like this. I have seen there are a lot of angry folks on this thread who are horrified but his present. I don’t really know people like that in real life, and my sister is normally adventurous, full of energy and loves surprises.

Its bit a huge amount of money and I will enjoy the day!

Gently suggesting – could it be an interpretation issue on your end?

I've posted before that the 1st poster you replied to / called angry, emotional, insulting attacking etc wasn't at all!

Then in your most recent posts, you mentioned angry posts which again I can't see – just people explaining in nice normal voices (if tired!) why they'd find it tiring.

I'm team Day Trip but is your sister actually angry or are you perhaps being a bit oversensitive?

Your sister is being crazy. It’s a lovely gift, I wish my sister would do something like this. Yes it’s early and late but it’s one day. The kids are teenagers not kids and if it’s that big of an issue they don’t need to come the 16 year old can babysit the 12 year old. There must be something else going on!

I reckon the kids would find this exciting.

Also just to add on, the most anger I keep seeing (if any) is against the sister/pro OP! I truly wonder if this could just be a case of crossed wires?

Huh? I took my daughter to a games expo, for 2 days we were up at half 6 and back to the hotel for 10:30/11pm. She is 6. She had more energy than we did by the end of it! No way is that an unreasonable time for teens!

IMO you've tried to do a really nice thing. Getting kids that age up at that time can be like raising the dead, but in my experience if they want to go, they'll do it. Maybe ask the kids if they are up for it, although I accept that might piss her off more. If they want to go and she doesn't she might come round, but at least you'll know. I can be a bit of a worrier about logistics but once I've got it all squared away in my mind I'm fine. Could she be the same?