Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

@cardibach she enjoyed it before kids, i.e. over 16 years ago!!! Quote from OP "used to this loads before the kids and she loved it".

There's a lot of reasons why someone would prioritise sleep over a rushed trip to London, especially on their birthday, and even more so if they are juggling single parenting two teenagers and work.

And it's really so personal, not for the OP or us to judge.

I think it sounds lovely, I'll come with you!
The "kids" are old enough to stay home if they don't want to come, but can't imagine what teenager would turn down a trip to London, mine wouldn't!

I find it more odd that you can't seem to accept that not everyone is like you.

Where did I say that? I said I find it odd. Not that I don’t know it is the case.

I have done quite long distances from London for a day. Hull Liverpool etc it feels like a mini holiday. One of my favourite was the Isle of Wight used to get a train at about. 7.30am on the Island soon after 10.30 used the buses to travel around then finish with fish and chips felt that I had a holiday.

I'm sorry but although you had the best intentions, it's a really stupid idea. Which airport are you flying into? Unless it's City airport I reckon you'll have barely anytime before you have to turn around to get back in time for the return flight. Do you realise how much time you need to be there for check-in? Plus how much time it takes to travel into the City?

Think the irony is the more you travel/the busier you are, the less appealing this sort of rushed trip is.

When I was a student with loads of time, I loved doing day trips around Europe with my uni mates. We'd be in the colosseum or having tapas at lunchtime and back before dark.

Now I travel regularly on 10+ hr flights back and forth multiple times each week for work, and a rushed random trip where I have to chivvy teens around sounds tiring and unnecessary.

I personally think the London sights listed sound anticlimactic and really dull (no offense OP), but even if you loved them you'd want to soak them in properly surely.

It's not about the 6am start or getting home close to midnight (including travel time from airport), but that your decompressing / resting time, admin tasks, parenting tasks, house tasks, work tasks if you're taking leave, prepping for the next day tasks, etc all build up in that time. Yes it's just 1 day but most people are pretty stressed and stretched day to day.

Even if you don't travel a lot, but are just busy with daily life, that applies. Plus, sister's DH is away and GPs aren't free so this means the trip falls in a period when the sister is solo parenting too.

Perhaps the sister would've liked it at a less busy time. Or maybe sister just wants to finally get a rest in on her birthday!

12 and 16!!!? Of course they can bloody handle it! I thought you were going to say somewhere between 3 and 6!

And if the 16 year old doesn't want to come, they can stay home alone for the day, surely?

That being said, Dublin to London and back, in a day, is a long and intense day, but it's a one-off! Sister is being a massive baby.

I don't really think wanting a choice (eg tonrest and relax) on your own birthday is being a baby?!

Of course there's no need for the recipient to be rude or get upset, but I'd have found the forced present (bought without consulting me) awkward and annoying as well.

Have you missed that the sis does the same to OP?

I don't think it would be too much for the kids and I also think the kids are old enough to stay home alone if they didn't want to go. However I do think those decisions are not decisions you get to make for someone else. Like it's too big a thing to be booked as a surprise really. I think talk with her about what she'd actually like to do. Maybe you can find a more local day trip they'd all like to go on and take a friend on the other trip?

Is your sister usually so ungrateful?

I'd go alone & have a wonderful time.

Apologies, just seen you are going to City airport - the tube doesn't go to and from City. Best to get the DLR and and change to the Thames Clipper however, still think plan is far too ambitious. Perhaps ask some friends if they're willing to pay for a name change and take them?

The trip is in the future

I saw that, and I don't see what difference that makes. Let's all force presents on each other mutually then, regardless of our different circumstances and preferences...

Oh that makes sense! I still think though that it's just petty and juvenile to call someone a baby for not enjoying something. A present shouldn't have to be suffered through! As I said though, that's no excuse for the sister to be rude or angry.

It takes 30/35 mins to go from Tower Gateway (right beside the Tower of London/Tower Bridge) to City airport. No need for tubes or clippers

So they could end their day of sightseeing there, jump on DLR and with it being City you would be through security and at your gate in less than an hour from leaving the Tower

Even if it’s an 8pm flight you could easily get on the DLR at 6.30 and still have time for duty free shopping

Plus OP there is a nice BBQ restaurant across from the Tower of London and few mins walk from the DLR stop called Bodeans if you wanted a meal before you headed back to the airport

But a it's a bit rich to be annoyed the sis does herself.

DH and I did Paris in a day by Eurostar when we were dating. It was great fun. We'd both been before and seen all the sights so we only did what we wanted to do.

I would hate if someone did that to me. Some people would love it. Only you know whether you had a reason to think she is the one to love this kind of thing and as a surprise.

It's a sweet idea but honestly I would hate that as a gift. I probably would just be polite and go but it would be complete chore and I would pay not to go if that wouldn't offend anyone.

A friend and I did a day trip London without kids who were both 11. From the midlands via train. Caught train about 7am, back home around 10/11 I think. Kids were absolutely fine.

Some people like being up early some people don't. Me and my family are firmly on the don't side of the fence and this would be my idea of hell. Wouldn't mind getting us up at 5.30 to catch a plane to a week's holiday in the med but not to traipse round grotty London for the day and not get back til late. Don't blame the sister for not wanting to go

My brother has now said he would like to go! Especially when he heard about the speed boat ride. So that would be nice. My sister and I usually travel together a lot but I rarely do stuff with him. He knows our sister and her kids have first dibs if they change their mind

The tickets won’t be wasted whatever happens and I might see if my sister wants to go without the kids. But will leave it a couple of weeks😎.

bot the end of the world and I am quite surprised by some of the strength of opinions expressed here. It has certainly been entertaining

I think it's lovely and you're a great sister. She is being unthankful.