Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

So sorry your lovely present wasn't well received. It's tricky when you are trying to plan a nice surprise for someone. I tagged along on one of dh's work trips recently and it was fun but I really struggled with the lack of sleep (travelling at night and a 6:30am start on one of the days we were there.) I had a choice though so the benefits outweighed the disadvantages.

@Garlicker I recently flew to Barcelona for a few days and it took me over an hour from getting off the plane to getting to the centre in a taxi.

Do you know this thread has actually inspired me to do this. Not been to Barcelona in years and I can get to Gatwick in about 20 mins

Going to look at easy jet tonight

Yes. It's called Extreme day trips.
It's a great way to get a snapshot of a new city.
I'm hoping it doesn't catch on too much or my £30 returns to European cities will disappear.

FWIW I’d have loved this present @Bellyblueboy! I think you were really thoughtful, have no idea what your dsis real problem is 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wasn’t referring to how enjoyable it was at the time. My point was that it’s worth risking a dodgy trip when all that’s at stake is one night’s sleep. You can get lots of other opportunities for a sleep. The trip, less so - and if it’s grim at least you know not to do anything like it again.

I think it was a generous gesture and I’m sorry your sister doesn’t fancy it.

Most adults have a pretty good idea of what they like and whether something is worth the risk or not, IMO. They don't need to try it out and see.

I would hate to fly to London for one day just to go on a boat ride and go on the London Eye, so while I could of course cope with the travel and the early start, I wouldn't want to because the pay-off wouldn't be worth it to me.

But I would get up at 5am to say, go on a horse-riding trek for the day, or to go and see a show in the West End and have a nice meal out afterwards - because I know those experiences would be worth it.

Each to their own, and all that.

Edit: spelling.

Well yes. But the Op has said her sister has enjoyed similar trips before and expressed a desire to go on the London Eye, so this one isn’t really a risk.

Bus outside the airport. Drops off at the Ramblas.

But the whole point of the thread is that the sister isn't keen on what's planned, so clearly it was a bit of a risk?

I think the sister enjoyed similar trips when younger and before kids? The kids are obviously an excuse because at that age they should easily cope with it and the 16 year old could even stay home alone.

I think this is a classic case of knowing your audience. The OP says her sister is an anxious person. Maybe she's afraid of flying, maybe she doesn't trust her brother to let the dog out for a wee, mabe the 16 year old will cause a scene and she's too embarrassed to say. I don't think she should be so hurtful about the present though, there's no excuse for rudeness.

That's a really lovely gift, but you really should have asked your sister first. However, now that it's all booked, go on your own unless either of the kids want to go too (and hopefully your sister, once she calms down). Have fun in London x

No, the point is the sister has said no to something she has enjoyed before and has said she wants to do because she or her children might get a bit tired. That’s prioritising sleep over fun and I don’t understand it.

The kids are plenty old enough to either come along or stay home alone! 12 and 16! I think it is a good present!

I wish you were my sister!

What a brilliant plan, especially with the location of the airports. I was thinking Heathrow would be a bit of a mare.

The kids will be instagramming like mad.
If she's worried about them being tired, she just has to make sure they have an early night before hand and everyone is packed the day before.

What a great way to celebrate the summer holidays.

It sounds like your sister is a bit worn out. Hopefully she'll come round.

You say she gets anxious and prefers to be in control. It might be that she needs a bit of time to get her head around it, do some research, and realise it is doable. I'd maybe send her a text with your proposed plan for the day and stress that it's very open to what she wants to do. She can then digest a bit more in her own time. I hope she comes round - it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it and made it as convenient as possible.

@Bellyblueboy, if someone had given me this as a present when my children were 12 and 16, I'd have been over the moon! And so grateful for the thought and trouble that had gone into it.

I suspect there are underlying issues in your relationship with your sister, which I hope you can resolve. I'm sorry for the reaction you got from her, and from the undeserved nonsense you're getting in some of the responses. More and more mumsnetters are noticing the vile unpleasantness some posters seem to enjoy heaping upon others, totally unwarrantedly. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

No you shouldn’t have booked without asking her
but her kids are big enough to stay home for the day alone. Of the 16 yo can’t keep an eye on the 12 yo he can go to a friend after breakfast and do a sleepover, or come home before bedtime and she can have an adult there until she arrives. Totally manageable

I know several parents and children who would love this, and several who would hate this. I can also think of combinations where a parent would hate it but their kid would love it and vice versa.

This is the sort of gift that will either be considered amazing or awful, with no in-between. It sounds like you and your sister are a bit out of sync - you said she used to like this sort of thing. So, has she changed and you haven't noticed? Is she more tired than she used to be due to running around after the kids? Is it just that her children are typical teenagers who can't be pushed out of bed without a million arguments?

What exactly have you booked (just flights?) and how non refundable are they? For example, can you move the dates or change the names (for a free) or it absolutely no changes whatsoever go?

Could the kids stay home with your bother, so it's just you and your sister?

Could you take the kids, so your sister has a day off?

It would be worth exploring if you can change the gift in any way to make it more appealing or if you're totally stuck.

Leave the kids home then if they can't cope with early wake up. At 16 and 12, surely they don't need a babysitter. Especially if the dog walking brother is nearby for emergencies.

Or it's prioritising her children over her sister.

Remember, she may not be telling the truth about the reasons behind not wanting to go.

This is all getting rather a distance from my general point that I find it odd people would forego a trip because it might make them a bit tired.

They're teens, not infants! Also as a teen I never got up before 1pm during the hols but I was always super excited to get up before 6am for trips because it felt like some cool adventure while everyone else was sleeping

Hmm they sound ok, OP... Just a bit tired, but not angry or insulting at all.

At firs5 I thought your sister was awful and entitled for getting angry. But this makes me wonder a little bit if you've misread your sister as "angry" when she could just be not too chuffed about a not that suitable present? Both are very different things!