Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

Why? It’s not that long a day.

Why can’t the 16 year old mind the 12 year old? It’s one day. Can’t they have a film day with kits of nice treats or take themselves off out for lunch? A couple of FaceTime calls and checking in etc….

If you had made a rough plan to have a day trip locally then I guess your sister is probably surprised/overwhelmed that you went ahead and booked London.
Can you try to help her find a way that she could come without the children?

Yep... we just flew to Rome & back for £12 each. I couldnt have travelled anywhere decent in this country for that! And yes, of course its not the most environmentally friendly day, but the plane was scheduled to fly whether we filled the seats or not. If you go for a day or a month you still need two flights...

How old? Because I’m 59 and if that happened to me I’d be down to the doc to find out what’s wrong with me. 12 hours sleep because of a few hours of driving two days running is not normal unless you are much, much older. And in any case, OP and her sister are not.

Can see both sides - in principle, given your Dsis wouldn’t have wanted to leave her dogs, a day trips seems ok - but I wouldn’t have done it without a clue from her that it was something she really wanted to do… and only given a few days notice.

Not really. Even less enjoyable (or downright unpleasant) trips are better memories than getting enough sleep on one random night.

Not old mid 40's - Have been to docs many a time but nothing wrong bloods etc - Do have endo but got all other tests done and cant find anything. Have always been tired person, mother said no issue sleeping as a baby either. Its not a few hours driving its 10 hours altogether - 5 hours per day, plus then 8 hours intense work, face to face meetings etc in between , I used to commute every day sometimes longer but now just cant do it any more
We dont know what Ops sister is like - she cant speak for her

That doesn’t sound right health wise, honestly, despite what tests say. 5 hours isn’t too bad - I used to do that after work in a Friday to take DD to her dad when she was small and we lived a long way apart, then again on Sunday evening to pick her up with work again Monday. Mid 40s should be prime of life territory. I’d be raging if I couldn’t do stuff because I needed 12 hours of sleep and doctors wouldn’t help.

My kids are similar age and would be delighted to go, me on the other hand would be knackered but I'd begrudgingly go and probably love it. Hope your sister goes for it.

Well unforunalty i have exhausted all options, i used to di it 5 days a week when was in my twenties and thirties and now i just cant. I see my husband is the same would have got up super early drove 2 hours worked on a building site for 8 hours and drove 3 hours home. He does have the commute now and i see him wrecked Thursday. Driving is tiring, you are concentrating the whole time, Here in Ireland the M50 is a bottleneck most of the time with crashes every day your watching that too. I dont need 12 hours sleep every day, i only need it when have had, like last week, intense 2 days driving and work, I don't turn down stuff because i need sleep all the time, i just pace things out. Even my own sister who has young kids says she likes some weekends when they have nothing on so to chill. We all need that sometimes. I have a good life we live in a nice area with the beach right on our doorstep, will be moving to a new house in Sept. We go out for dinner loads and places we can bring our dogs, We just choose not to go places sometimes that require long drives as we do enough of it for work and i think that is ok

I think it’s fair if she doesn’t want a surprise day trip to includes flying other early in the day and back later in the evening. I can see myself loving it and also hating it being irritated depending on what’s going on in my life at the time.

I read recently of two clubbers from Manchester who couldn't afford overnight accommodation in Dublin so flew over went clubbing and then went home on the red eye 6am flight. Brilliant. Apparently it's quite common

How do you know the kids will love it? I’m sure they’ve been to London before so it’s not really a one in a lifetime trip for then so I’m it sure how you’ve so confidently concluded that they will love it based on OPs post.

Also it’s her sisters birthday not her kids and it makes sense that she has no interest in such a long day for a day trip to London. I can see points in my life where such a surprise trip would be lovely and points in my life where I would have no desire and be irritated if someone did this.

The kids are 12 and 16.

It's a long day but at that age and quiet days before and after they'd cope - would be fun.

Also if the 16 year old is sensible and family like brother nearby and who could possible come over in evening after work till you get back - could the kids not be left if it really is too much.

It is always worth checking with people before booking - some anxious people like DMum do not take kindly to others organising even nice surprises - learnt that the hard way got roped in with siblings but apparently I was most sensible so should have known.

It's possible with bit of time she might come round to the idea and the surprise bit thrown her into a panic at idea.

I'm just back from London though I don't live in Ireland any more. Your birthday treat day sounds lovely. Your sis might come around if you explain you have it all sorted. Book the fast track in Dublin if that exists, I'd also do breakfast there for everybody if they have somewhere nice. Make sure you know how to conveniently get into London city from the airport. Eat outside of regular times to make it smoother, we had a lovely lunch in Soho. Anytime for a show that the kids and adults would love. Les Mis for example ? We went to see the Mousetrap which was brilliant (not good for teenagers!)

You know to use a credit card for the tube etc. I used mastercard and that worked really well. I'd do most things in the one area, nearest the airport side if you get my meaning.

You're going to be fast thru the airports as you've no luggage, but beware of peak times in the summer. A nice dinner in a proper restaurant at London airport to chill out on the way back sounds great (though I'm not sure if it exists, some airport restaurants are horrible). We got a couple of taxis outside peak hours to smooth our journeys as it can take a lot of time going up and down and switching etc. Especially as you've just the day.

I personally wouldn't want to do this. Travelling around london plus two flights in a day is a pretty full on and stressful day without the early morning. Traffic, noise, hectic busyness, juggling passports etc. Ok you can grab lunch when you're there but it's not really enough time to enjoy the day. Would rather have a day somewhere local. London is too much for me even on the train for a day let alone a flight x 2!

Not really. Even less enjoyable (or downright unpleasant) trips are better memories than getting enough sleep on one random night.

Each to their own I guess, but I'd much rather get a good nights sleep than have a downright unpleasant trip 😂

I think it's a good present, yes the kids will be knackered but they'll cope. We took our much younger DC to Disney and they were up from 6 until midnight walking about 15 miles in a day!

How rude of her. That is a day my 9 year old would cope with with a nap on the plane. If we took the pram we might even manage with the toddler!

Also the 16 year old could stay at home with the 12 year old.

Could you change the names on the tickets for a fee? Do you have a friend, even one with older kids who would want to go with you instead?

I don't think kids should be an issue at that age but It comes across as she wants a day to herself without kids and that's where this frustration is coming from? Maybe do this with kids then a local something nice where there's no kids ?

Do people really take 1h30 long flights for day trips?

When I lived in South London, I regularly went to Barcelona for the day via Gatwick. Lisbon's another good day trip (both cities' airports are ten minutes from the centre).

Half of Mumsnet would freak out if asked to visit the next county 😂

I think it is a fabulous thoughtful birthday gift.

Garlicker · Today 14:12
Do people really take 1h30 long flights for day trips?”

Do you never take a train/drive 1.5 hours to visit different places?

I'm sorry OP but I would HATE this if it was sprung on me and my teenage children with no notice!!

A two night stay yes, but a day trip flying in from Dublin is absolutely bonkers. You'll spend more time in and traveling to and from the airports than actually being in London - I really don't think you've thought this through at all.