Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

She normally spends that on the dog and more , he has fresh cooked meals twice a day.

she’s deffo not skint

I agree with the other posters, if she has that kind of money to splash out on a dog she can afford to send you £80 right away. It doesn't compensate your time of course.

hilarious

Bloody cheap butcher
<completely misses point of thread>

I reckon you could get quite a good few joints of meat from a good size dog....

Let's say she opened the fridge and saw the note in the two steaks that said for her dog.

Let's say that she thought the note meant all
of the meat, eighty pounds worth!

Her eyes would most over and she oils be so pleased you had been so generous towards her previous Rover.

She would have been profuse in her thanks at which point you would have set her straight about the two steaks and nothing else being for the dog.

She didn't offer up her immense gratitude but instead chose to pilfer the whole.

She then made a swift getaway.

She knew exactly what she was doing.

Can't she do an £80 delivery of meat to you? From the same butchers ideally.

Does she use online banking? If not, I'd ask/expect her to drive into town and pay you from the nearest branch of her bank.
What would she say to that? With the sports car and her coming to you, I'm assuming she has the mobility to do so.
It's unfair of her, and when you say she's very 'me me me' I can bloody tell.

Can’t cope with the OP refusing to ask for a bank transfer so she can go and buy it again…

They can eat anything raw but cooked bones splinter.

So if she’s deffo not skint tell
her you can’t wait til her next visit for her to buy meat and ask her to transfer now.

Hourly rate for minding her grandchildren when your marriage has broken down a fortnight ago?! Honestly OP don’t forgive and forget this. You all deserve better.

She didn't really think it was a thank you. She's coming up with shite to shut you up. Your mum stole from you and your children. You can't let that slide.

So she visited for the weekend & fed her dog whilst there & then emptied the fridge of all of the rest of the meat because????

ive not refused to ask for a bank transfer. I’ve said to her I can’t afford to ‘pop to the shops’ as she said and replace it all but frankly the drama she was creating I just can’t deal with the back and forth.

my kids are young, my job is intense, and I’m literally up to my eyeballs. I’ve asked for the money and the items to be replaced and it was next time and then turns quite nasty. I’m actually barely hanging on right now

She stole it!!! What a disgrace she litterally took food from her grandchildrens mouths. I'd be demanding the money. I'd tell her shed been recorded stealing it and I was pressing charges if she didn't pay it back lol 😆 that should get your meat back

She cooks it for him. Won’t buy him raw dog food that’s nutritionally balanced but this is a whole other convo. the dog just eats meat

Did she honestly make it into petrol money and an hourly rate to look after children?

That makes her one of those people who are never wrong, and it's all turned into who's fault it is. So frustrating.

If you’ve so recently lost your husband, surely you can take some more compassionate leave from work?

This!! There’s not a chance this is a genuine mistake. She’s fucking unbelievable to have done this to you!!

So she has no money worries then, and can pay you back easily.

I’m sorry but there’s no way that was a mistake. She’s punishing or sabotaging you for some reason? How is she usually?

You need to insist she transfers the money, now. Don’t listen to any nonsense.
What kind of a person leaves their grandchildren without food?

Op I am sorry she has been so selfish. "Payment for looking after the kids"?!!

Can you tell her not to bother coming back in 4 weeks? The petrol money she'll save can be used to replace the meat now.

That sort of "help" you do not need.

My mum does stuff like this for her cat OP, you're not alone.

After 15 odd years off me saying 'what the eff did you do that for?!!!!'
She has finally started transfering me the money first.

Turns out, she hates going to the butchers, and she thought I was trying to surreptitiously help her 🤣

We got there eventually and noone starved. Life's not always as easy as people make it out to be.

I hope you get it sorted, I have no immediate advice, but I wish you luck!

Op, your mum is a selfish cow.
I could never imagine my mum taking food meant for my children and not giving me the money back when realising her mistake. Bloody hell.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through atm but I'm with others who say you should ask your DM to transfer the money. It's an absolute disgrace that she did this to you and your DC.

To be clear I’m not bereaved, just single