Dm took all the food for my kids!

[Littlechesnuttree]

Newly single mum here hi!

dm visited this weekend to ‘help’ largely consisted of me running errands for her and bringing cups of tea.

here’s the thing, she brought her dog who she only feeds meat (she won’t listen) so steak, chicken, mince etc.

i went to the butcher on the weekend and bought our meat for the month, steaks, whole chickens, lamb leg, chicken breast, meat and even duck breast.

all in all £80 or more likely. Had them in fridge before I could sort and put in freezer.

i had a kids bday party so was getting kids ready whilst dm was packing up.

go to the fridge this morning and it’s all gone… all the meat.

she thought I bought it for her dog. So now not only got to do a freezer tea for the kids but ive got to rebuy it all.

dm didn’t offer to replace and lives too far away to return.

aibu to think this is barmy behaviour? You check before you clean out someone’s fridge

I can’t believe people are being so horrible! Honestly , MN never fails to surprise me with people that will pick at peoples stories , demand to know more , accuse them of all sorts when there is absolutely nothing in the post that suggests the OP has done anything wrong!

OPs mother has clearly taken the piss! Maybe she’s used to her having more money and buying things for the dog , maybe OP said “ the meat is in the fridge” and she’s just assumed that it’s all for her dog . But, regardless of that her daughter has told her that it was her meat for the week and that she cannot replace it and instead of apologising and sending her the money she has been nasty about it and thrown things in her face . Implying that OP should pay her for childcare and petrol for coming over to help her when her husband walked out on her 2 weeks ago is ludicrous.

Posters saying to just go and get more - and one very nasty comment saying she has done nothing to sort the situation- well I don’t know what to say to them. Some people live different lives and don’t understand that some people just simply do not have the money to go and replace a whole weeks shop at the drop of a hat and neither - especially as a single parent - have the time ! I am not a single parent , I have a husband but I would in no way A) be able to afford to spend another £80 on food and B) would in no way be able to fit in a food shop after work ( which is why I do it at the weekend and I imagine why OP did too ) . That’s as a parent with a husband , in a 2 income household !

OP - you are NOT being unreasonable . You have a lot to deal with right now and have been kicked when you are down . You have every right to be angry and upset . Sadly , it does now fall on you and it’s hard! You are new to this and I’m really sorry you have to deal with it. If you can afford it and you have one near you , do an online Iceland freezer shop - if you spend £30 you get free delivery . Tell the kids you are treating them this week and you’re having a “ naughty “ week ! Turn it around , make it fun : “ we can have a picky dinner one night” “ we can put a movie on and eat pizzas on the sofa “ …. I remember being really skint when I was a single parent and I really had to budget , some weeks I had barely anything! I would do a “picnic” ( sandwiches , crisps , a cheap £1 pizza …. We sat on a blanket in the living room ) or I would get some really cheap chips , nuggets , pizza …. Put it out like a little buffet. The children remember these times as fun times , when really I was just trying to feed them as cheaply as possible ! It’s not nutritious, no , and its not the lovely meals you had planned but they won’t know that it’s because you’re struggling they will see it as a cool mum treat !

Love to you ❤️

@Goolagoo what a kind and down to earth post ❤️

She thought you bought a leg of lamb for her dog?

So sorry OP, that sounds absolutely crap. Ignore all the horrible posts... I totally get that it's not always as straightforward communicating bluntly with someone like your mother who sounds like an emotional blackmailer at best. Sorry about your husband too - you must be in turmoil. All I can say is one day, hopefully, you'll look back on this (frankly bizarre!!) situation and your nutty mum, and be able to laugh about it. But for now, you have my full sympathy xx

well, would you like someone who stole £80 of your meat for their dog and behaved the way this mother is?

Dear mum

Here are my bank details. Please transfer the money you owe for the dog meat ASAP.

Stop being a wet rag

Where does it say in the OP that she'd asked for money for the meat?

Is this a weird MN way of suggesting that the OP should do that?

@forthestory - @Littlechesnuttree said, in one of her updates yesterday, that she has asked her mother for the money.

"ive clearly asked her for the money to which she basically said consider it my fee for babysitting all weekend, by that she means the 2 hrs on the weekend when I had a lie down and the 1.5 hrs Friday evening after school".

There you go, I read the OP's posts for you.

I think the OP said her mum looked after the children by herself for a few hours, during the three days - definitely not for the full three days.

That response was one of the first replies though! Before the OP's update. I think???

She should refund the money straightaway.
Taking food from the fridge in someone else's house is theft.

Your mother sounds like a very difficult person OP, so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of everything else. People like her can't be reasoned with, of course a normal person would send you the money asap. Or not choose to misunderstand that the meat was for her dog. Sending sympathy and joining you in frustration.

Clearly your mother is a pos, she's happy to take the food out of her grandkids mouth to feed her stupid dog! (EX) Husband is a pos also if he's willing to berate you and use the kids lack of food to do it (it was out of your control). Personally i'd phone mother again and tell her you need the money transfered asap and that if she's happy that shes taken food from her grandkids she's a disgrace, if she has a meltdown tell her she's not the help you need and go low contact, you have enough on your plate atm with out dealing with batshit crazy people, she knew what she was doing as she did it while you were away and hoped you wouldnt say anything to her. As a single mother you're going to have to stand up for yourself and your kids as no one else going to or you'll end up drowning.

You may well be right, @forthestory - I have lost track of some of the chronology, I’m afraid - I blame long covid brain fog!

@PurpleBugz Where was I "kicking" anyone? Please explain

@Doteycat Are you drunk?

@WalkingonWheels I'm repeating what our dog's vet told us! Pretty sure she knows a little better than you! Raw chicken is poisonous to anyone, not just humans ffs! 🤣🤦‍♀️

Very please MN have deleted your name calling nonsense! 👍🏻

Edited as now read updates

a lot of online butchers deliver. I would guide your dm to one of those websites and ask her to replace like for like.

Wait a min, do you earn £3k a month? If so, I think I’d write off the £80 and chalk this one up to experience! No point souring your relationship with your mother over this but I’d be very wary of your mother visiting in future, especially after you’ve done a butcher visit 🙈