There's no such thing as an independent female

[Yoyodiet]

I'm so wound up! Earlier, DP said to me he thinks I would benefit from signing up to Andrew Tate's academy course or whatever it is (I like learning about making money online, more out of interest than actually doing it myself). I said probably, but I wouldn't want to fund him as I don't like him. He asked why and I said he's not very nice to/about women. He was aghast and we went back and forth, defending him for the most part when I was reading bits off to him from a BBC article to prove my point. I read the following -

In that same video, he described women as "intrinsically lazy" and said there was "no such thing as an independent female".

...and he was like 'yeah, no women can be independent, you need men'. I couldn't believe it! I won't bore you with the heated discussion that ensued but he genuinely believes that not just I would crumble without a man (him), but all women on the planet if men suddenly disappeared. We would apparently perish in good time because we 'cannot hunt, do electrics, fix a roof or change a tyre'. (To add insult to injury I have qualifications in electrical installation and engineering, I'm pretty sure I could also change a tyre if push came to shove).

Also, I said I think there would be less wars without men - he said there'd me more because women are bitchy?? I said I'm pretty sure men have started a lot more wars than women in history. He pointed in my face and told me women didn't even fight in wars til recently. I reminded him that men made those rules.. 😂

He genuinelyyyyyy believes I'd fall apart without him. Our relationship has been rocky lately but this really made me see a different side to him. He really made me feel like a lesser person and it's made me feel really disappointed since. AIBU to be lying in bed awake stewing over this???

Agree to disagree, I think it’s pretty obvious that he’s a complete misogynist. Also hard disagree on calling him eloquent or compassionate!

Plenty of lesbian communities where they do everything for themselves.

Decent, normal blokes have no interest in Andrew Tate. He has nothing to offer anyone.
I have no idea how he casts this spell over some people. If you see him interviewed, he struggles even to make eye contact, so not sure why some people find him so charismatic and appealing.
I've seen the video where he is violent to a woman with a belt, the one where he admits he used to deal, and am well aware that he himself effectively admitted to grooming young women for cam work, despite his recent backtracking.
How do his 'fans' not know all this? Some people really need a guru to spoon feed them and are happy to take things at face value. Sad really.
Run a mile and then run a few more OP.

I suspect that he's always had these tendencies but they were probably hidden in subtle ways. Chivalry or just a natural tendency to have a more traditionally male/female set up at home and then you have a situation like this where you wake up one day and realise he's a raging misogynist. And stupid to boot.

It's probably time to start rethinking this relationship completely OP. I'm sorry.

He's wrong on women fighting in wars, but you are mistaken if you think a world run by women would be less warlike. Women have caused wars, fought in them (the women of Leicester fought from the walls during the English Civil War, for example, and were not the only women at the time to do such a thing) and plenty have taken armies onto the field, if not actually joined in the fighting - you need a lot of umph to wield a battle axe - e.g. (examples from Britain btw), Margaret of Anjou, the Empress Matilda, Aethelflaed, the Lady of the Mercians, Catherine of Aragon, Boudica, Margaret Tudor (had cannons fired on her second husband - they did not get on) and generally the chatelaine of a castle would have to defend them if attacked. And women have caused as many wars - and been as vicious during sacks. So we obviously do not need men to cling onto - suggest you tell him this.
And who wants to sign onto anything with nasty Andrew Tate? Rapist etc? He wants you to sign onto something produced by a rapist?

This would be a dealbreaker for me.
I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who clearly hates women.

I'd be worried that your green adult husband is being take on by this let alone recommending his scamming online course?

are you sure he's not giving him his money?

can your DH fix a roof and hunt, i'm pretty sure most men can do neither as they're quite niche skills.

he sounds an idiot frankly.

Any man who follows Andrew Tate is thick as a plank. Disgruntled with own life choices and looking up to a self-styled 'guru' who knows how to target silly deluded men, for money and gain. I don't give any Tate-heads the time of day, entitled morons looking for scapegoats that they are. Life's too short. If your husband is paying for his courses that's so cringe. But this isn't out of the blue is it, he's your husband and you know what he's like.

Whilst I think it is true that no such thing as an independent women, it also think this is true there is no such thing as an independent man. We all rely on society to some extent. No matter your wealth you rely on people.

I would take great delight in informing him that you wish to be independent from him permanently.

Ask him to go hunt you some dinner 😂he probably can't even boil an egg. Andrew Tate is a weird poisonous little closet case, I can't believe people actually listen to him.

Hopefully more will become aware, given the charges against Tate. As you say, how do people look up to him. https://apnews.com/article/andrew-tate-romania-trial-human-trafficking-rape-4dde5de557094c6eadde73722833327a#:~:text=A%20court%20in%20Romania's%20capital,gang%20to%20sexually%20exploit%20women.

Your DH has never heard of women's land then. Collectives of women living in houses who do everything.

I don't agree with everything JP says, but there is no comparison between him and AT. AT is extreme and dangerous. And a pp talks about protecting daughters - sons also need protecting from AT too.

OP a healthy relationship is where you have mutual respect and you build each other up. It does not sound at all good that he chips away at you. But I think both of you misunderstand the whole independent thing. Humans are hardwired to be sociable and we need people, and we are dependent on each other for different skills. Not much is biological sex dependent - you get brainy women and men, and women and men who are rubbish at DIY and men and women who are good at it, etc. The only bio sex dependent thing I can think of is to do with physical strength - normally - and hormones, to the extent hormones make a difference.

But none of us are meant to be islands either!

The problem with all this is that the vast majority of men I know are like your husband, because of all the messages they received when growing up, and it is really hard bringing up sons well at the moment, in our culture at least.

How does he think single woman cope?!

There are even women in the trades, electricians, plumbers, etc.
I am so sorry OP he is a sexist man who does not respect you.

🙄the man is like any other snake oil salesman, he's selling BS. He's not some deep guru, just the usual con artist preying on the isolated, lonely, easily manipulated and stupid.

Amazingly it doesn't take an independent anything to see through his shite. Just reason.

I'm really sorry OP. Your husband's a misogynist and it's likely he had this streak in him previously but it's really coming out now. Sometimes it takes life events to do that, such as the man getting a promotion or better money before you see the arrogance and chauvinism come out.

I would benefit from signing up to Andrew Tate's academy course

I wonder if you'll come back to this point one day and see that this was the end. Also, if your partner is into get rich schemes, I'd be concerned he'd be dim enough to blow it on something stupid, at the very least.

@Grammarnut If our statistics regarding violent and sexual offenders are correct, then yes, it's a very reasonable assumption to make that a world run by women would be less violent. Markedly so. Exceptions do not make the rule.

haha...proper laughed at that comment.

OP, I just don't even know where to start with this. How on earth does anyone even begin to educate this bloke? Well, you can't really because he's stuck in his misogynistic beliefs. Not sure I'd be able to continue in a relationship with such a twat.

Her son too, otherwise he might end up like her husband and perpetuate the misogynist bollocks.

It's all so depressing. How do men get drawn in to people like Andrew Tate? He's so obviously a useless little twerp.

sorry OP this is quite serious especially as you have DCs, but there's something hilarious about a man who says we can't cope without a man hunting for us

I hope he's regularly bringing home a gazelle for you (and butchering it of course)

no one is completely independent - unless they are living alone and off grid and even then they probably are buying some stuff and earning a bit of ££ somehow

we live in society, all humans do and always have,

there are female mechanics, butchers, train drivers, astronauts, politicians, soldiers.....as we all know!

I'm sorry OP but my most generous assessment is that he is a gullible, easily led wanker

@Yoyodiet he’ll believe your son should be a blue alpha male and your daughter should be a pink SAHM. This is what your children are going to grow up believing. At least if they are only with him half the time you can mitigate this.
He believes women can’t do electrics? He’s gone so far down the AT rabbit hole he won’t be able to turn around sadly. Now you’ve realised you’ll lol back at your whole relationship and realise all the bad things he has said.

Tell him if he adores AT then he shouldn’t be expecting you to make money anyway 😂

Was he always like this or has he had a lobotomy?

you Know this already but keep your job and make plans to leave

none of this is okay or normal.