Horrible Fathers Day with DH

[WineGumm]

Horrible Fathers Day morning with DH - honestly dreadful.

Last night DH and I had a fight, he had watched 4 hours of WWE on TV and I had left him alone to enjoy it. When it had finished I made a hot chocolate and went to sit on the couch. DH was taking up the whole settee with his legs on top of the couch, I asked him nicely to move his legs and he huffed that I was controlling how he sat. I just didn’t want his feet in my face. Things spiralled after he refused to move his legs and he called me “rotten”on the inside” a “vile woman” and a horrible person and I was ruining his night etc. All for asking him to move his legs! He said these things in front of DS (12)

I walked off and went to bed, I had to remove myself from the situation.

This morning I tried to act as normal possible. I wished him Happy Fathers Day. DS made him a cup of coffee (he barely looked at DS and told him he had just had one)

Got the cards and DS made a few jokey gift vouchers. DS2 had made a little present in school, his main hadn’t arrived in time, he also had a history magazine and a gift voucher.

DS went to give him the cards and he would barely look at him, saying shall we just not bother. He had a face like a slapped arse, it was dreadful. I told him to put aside whatever it was was going on and make an effort for the kids.

He started another fight and I’m ashamed to say that DS went to his room upset.

I had to convince DS to come back down and try again saying that Daddy was having a bad day.

We tried again but it was dreadful, so forced. I apologised that his main gift had not arrived, I admit that I said “please don’t shout at me” I apologised for saying that as it was probably passive aggressive and I said please don’t be upset.

DH looked at the little pile saying that there was barely anything there.

DS stormed upstairs again. I had to go to work.

I text DH to see if he would at least take the kids out to the park as the weather was lovely but he refused. I even sent him free McDonald’s vouchers so he could take him to a drive through but he refused to attempt to salvage the day.

DS stayed in his room all day, DS2 amused himself and DH played video games all day.

Its 9pm and the cards are still unopened 😔

If it wasn’t Fathers Day I swear I would have asked for a divorce today.

The day means nothing. It clearly meant nothing to him so I would have left him that night. Your DS will be happier without the pair of you walking on egg shells

Delighted you are leaving him. I just want to hug your sons. Be strong!!

Surely his mum is going to want her freedom back soon as well?

My BIL once had an argument with his wife. MIL rang his wife and told her she'd made up his old bed, so when should she expect him back?

She would LOVE it if any or all of them were dependent on her forever.

I admit that I said “please don’t shout at me” I apologised for saying that as it was probably passive aggressive and I said please don’t be upset.

don't understand this. You are saying sorry for saying please don't shout at me as that's passive aggressive?? If that's what you're saying you seriously need to re think what you'reunderstanding of passive aggressive is because asking someone not to shout at you is just asking them not to shout at you. I'm not sure why you are putting yourself down here but stop. If I have misunderstood this then I'm very sorry.

Gosh OP, I read these threads with utter sadness as the OP very rarely leaves. And you've only gone and bloody done it! This has made my day. You should be so proud of yourself. Please, never go back to him. You've just saved your boys.

I read this thread this morning and felt so upset for you and your boys. Well done for making the decision to leave OP. Keep strong, you can do this.
Ps - the urinating thing is very concerning behaviour. This combined with the other things you have written about him - he sounds like a psychopath.

Presents for Father's Day?
What sort of nonsense is that?

She's happy having him there and it won't be forever. Probably.

This

It makes me so sad to read this -your poor children. I feel bad for you too but I wish you wouldn’t pussy foot around this twat. Just because it’s Father’s Day you won’t leave him? He doesn’t deserve to be celebrated as a father. He’s a c*nt. Honesty you & dc will be better off and happier without him.

**edited to say sorry Iv just RTFT. Massive congratulations OP for ending this and starting your new chapter for you and dc. Let the healing begin! ❤️‍🩹 You may feel sad for a while but you will ultimately be happier in the long run! Best wishes for your future xx

I agree with others saying you've done really well, especially when you were so calm telling him that the relationship was over.
He behaved like a child and his behaviour was vile, so good for you making the decision to end it. Amazing!!!!
Give yourself time to relax and be gentle and praising with the manner in which you handled it, there are plenty others who wouldn't be as mature.

You DEFINATELY need a Solicitor. I consulted one when I was leaving my ExH, and I was entitled to so much more than I realised. Yes, to some of his pension. More of the assets due to sacrificing my career. It was worth way more the £1500 she charged me to draw up the separation agreement.

I told him it was over this morning. I couldn’t tell him yesterday as the kids were around and he doesn’t care what he says in front of them.

Hes also the type to use how he was dumped on Fathers Day as a weapon forevermore. He would have had the perfect excuse to play the victim to everyone about how his horrible ex wife left him on Fathers Day. Poor him! I could not give him the satisfaction.

Good for you 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Good for you. This time next year you will have a better life with less negativity. You'll be so much happier. Stay strong. I imagine the dad of the year acteill start soon.

OP, you are an absolute champion. Well done. The next phase will be hard but better times are ahead. I hope you are very, very proud of yourself.

This ^
so sorry you’re living like this x

Well done it’s the start of the next chapter for you and your DC xx

OP, you are being brave.
Your children will be better off now, as will you.

He's awful, you all need to leave him! How cruel, and stick up for your kids

Well done OP. Bloody well done.

Absolutely this.
He clearly has form for this on other 'special' days.
Cruel, controlling, happy to let your kids suffer / blame themselves.

As it's part of a pattern I speak to him - once- about it.
If he is not interested in listening then I'd Divorce him.

You can show your children that sort of behaviour is unacceptable. To you.
And for them. Then they are less likely to tolerate or repeat it for themselves.

sorry, X post.

HURRAH !!!! you are 100% doing the right thing.

(I wish I'd left my stbexH many years ago but better late than never)