To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

Umm no, there's only biological age.

That’s interesting that your Mum lived so long after a late baby - I’m currently mid first round of IVF at 33 and my friend sent me an article the other day talking about how women who give birth over 35 are up to five times more likely to live to 100! Maybe it really does keep you young! My Granny had her last at 40 and is still going strong at 93.

Except that they might be having to care for an elderly sick parent when still in their teens. And yes that can happen to younger parents, I know that, but it's less likely.
There is a reason why child bearing years are called just that, its called nature, so the baton is handed to the next generation of mothers.
Tinkering about with nature has hone too far imho

Only if it leads to disabilities due to parental ages.

Otherwise- no harm done.

Or

The younger you begin trying for a baby the longer they make you try naturally before giving you any fertility treatment.

IVF averages £5000 a round - takes people years to save for it.

Fertility treatment can take years to actually be successful.

Maybe think about the people who absolutely did not choose to “tinker about with nature” before opening your mouth. I wanted to shag my husband, personally, yet here I am off to my IVF action scan this morning.

'Fashions' change . I had my daughter at 21 . She had her son at 42 so she will be 61 when he's 19, like you OP .

Average life expectancy in the UK is now just over 80 years old. State pension age doesn't even start till 66. Ok people are more likely to get seriously ill when in their 60s than when in their 40s. But most adults in the UK are still pretty healthy and functional in their 60s I think. So if you have a child in your 40s, they won't have elderly parents as teenagers?

I will be 61 and DP 66,when DS is 19. I do worry for him, and feel very selfish. It seemed fine, hypothetically, when planning pregnancy. It's OK now - I worry about the future. He is definitely undiagnosed ND and has social anxiety,even with wider family. HOWEVER - I am focusing on the present, and being the best mam I can be.

@adviceneeded1990 I'm not against IVF and fertility treatments but there must be a cut off point somewhere. Giving IVF treatments to someone aged 57 is surely unethical. Does anyone actually give a monkeys about these poor children being brought into the world or is it just me me me now and fuck the consequences?

You're the one who started a thread claiming it's 'not right' that you had a child at 42! You can't claim double standards when you're the one who's making an issue of it.

Best of luck.

It's funny the thoughts you have!

I was 46 when my then 19 and 18yr old both left home. I still can't believe that!

I'll be 63 when my youngest is 19 ( 51 now and he is teaching me to play minecraft!) I try not to worry about it. The point is to try and stay fit and healthy and keep up with their interests. He's 7 now and a little girl in his class has just lost her mum to cancer. Anything can happen at any age, try to be young in your outlook on life and she won't care.

Oh and I'm 52 now, had lots of hospital tests recently and they all ask if there's a chance I might be pregnant 😆😂

My mum had me at 43 back in 1990. I never felt she was 'cruel', and her age has had very little impact on my life.

Actually no...

Biological age (BA) is a common model to evaluate the function of aging individuals as it may provide a more accurate measure of the extent of human aging than chronological age (CA).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10130645/

Im 40 and my Mum is nearly 80, does that seem weird?

I’m 57 and DS is 22, most of my friends are of a similar age with kids in their early twenties. One of them however is already a grandmother which I really can’t comprehend.

When I was at school my best friend’s parents were older which was quite unusual back in the 80s. But due to a horrible set of circumstances, they outlived both of their children. The son was killed in an accident at 21 and my friend died of cancer when she was just 30.

You never really know how life is going to play out.

When DS is 19 his dad will be 68, I regret giving him such an old father immensely. We're separated, he's just had another, he'll be 72 when that one is 19.

My mums parents were older, she was a menopause oops baby. Both of her parents had died before she was 30. I'm 29 now. It doesn't feel right, and they were still younger than my ex.

Years ago, when my DC were small, I had a lovely lady who did some cleaning for me. She was 37 and a grandmother.

When my DD is 19 I too will be 61. What's the point in worrying over something you can't change?

I do actually wish I'd had her a bit younger but only because she's been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism in the last year and will need a lot of help into adulthood and beyond.

I'm 65, DS 22 and I guarantee you there has never been a problem with my stamina, fitness, perseverance, patience, or any age-related aspect. Why on earth do you think it's a problem? If you are young enough to conceive, you are very definitely young enough to raise a child to maturity.

Yes but your DS wouldn't exist without the old father.

My DH is 68, our youngest is 18. He’s the best husband and father to all our 4 kids ranging up to 25. He was a late starter. Very fit and healthy.

I think this is the new normal. TBH, I don't know why people get het up about the ages we have children. In previous generations, it was normal for women to give birth from their teens, well in to their forties. It only in modern times, we have been able to control when we have children.