To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

Your life is far from over but it takes a terrifying level of naivety to think that your condition “barely has an impact” on your children.

It hasn't, and it isn't naive to say so. I'm the same as any other parent.

When I was 60, my kids were 83 and 35! One of them will have a 20 year old when he's 60

33!!!!

For the love of God - my kids were 38 and 35 when I was 60!

So is my mum. But her illness still impacted me, emotionally. It is very naive to think seeing their mother go from fit, healthy and able bodied to disabled and in a wheelchair has had no impact on them personally.

At the very least it's dawned on them how fragile humans are and how easy it is for life to change. How quickly people could be taken away. Most teenagers don't even think about that.

Am ready to get slated here we adopted our youngest daughter when she was 3 and has complex needs. We were 62 and 65. I don’t think we were too bad as parents.

My dad had a major stroke aged 40 when my mum was pregnant. Growing up with a physically and emotionally frail father was not easy. Although he managed to hold down a full time job for 16 years he walked with a limp and was partly paralysed down the left side. He coukd not dress on his own nor use his left hand. It was very hard on my mum as she had to cut up his food and she had to dress and undress him daily. It has definitely affected me massively. I learned early that life can be tragic and looking after our health is so very important.

I think growing up with a disabled parent is hard as you expect your parents to be strong and unfortunately he was not. Not my dad's fault of couyrse.

The shaming of mums whatever age they have kids is awful.

Yes, it's been an unpleasant aspect of this thread.

One of my friends had two children in her forties. I thought it was far too old, but up to her. She was fit and healthy. Now she has teenagers at school, friends are starting to retire early or go part-time, and she is complaining about being stressed and skint.

You sound pleased 😉

I've worked part time since DD went to school. Was SAHM before that. I enjoy working and have no desire to retire but when I want to, I will.

And I had no trouble parenting a primary school, then secondary school DD in my 50s. Plenty of energy then and now.

How lovely 💐

My great aunt was around your age when her son and his wife dumped their two young daughters on her. She raised two smashing girls.

Why are you even remotely bothered by this????

i cannot see a problem, but yet again I have never been ageist i was 43 when I had my DD, and i was 60 when I became a mum to a 15-year-old (adoption)
i don't feel age comes into parenting!

If it makes you feel any better, I'm almost 40 and my mum isn't even 60 yet. No one comments on our age gap, so I bet no one comments on yours x

I’ll be 58 when my youngest is 19. Why is that an issue?
I’ll be 44 when my eldest is 19. I don’t see that as an issue either!

My Dd is 21, I'm 64 her DF is 75. I told her before she hit teens that I was fat too old for teen tantrums and I wouldn't be putting up with rubbish behaviour. She's been no bother apart from the year she was 17 when we never knew which mood to expect🙄 We arr very close andxshe's just about to graduate with a law degree

So I had my youngest at 44 so I’ll be 63 when she’s 19 and don’t see what the issue is? My oldest will be 41 when I’m 63 which seems wierder in a way!

My parents had all of us young but still I had feelings of dread over their mortality. It’s a normal part of development.
Op, ignore negative and unkind people. Concentrate on your health. Plenty younger and smug parents don’t. It will be fine.

It's on the old side but so what?
I had my youngest at 41

It happens. Not always by design. Sometimes by circumstances beyond control. Sometimes by luck - after a prolonged period of inactivity of or issues with a reproductive body or bodies. Such philosophical thoughts at 10.45 on a Saturday night instead of being drunk? 😃

Gosh seriously ? This makes me feel better ! I'm 47 and considering ivf so I will be even older than 62 lol

I’m 39 and there are 2 people at my workplace who are early 60’s and all of our parents are similar age 😂. It doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve followed suit kind of, mine are 6 and 2. You did what was right for you at the time, honestly, don’t worry about it.

I know women who are “old” mentally at 30 and women in their 60s with far more personality, humour and zest for life. Age is just a number.

They were/are old parents.

Understand your fear. I had my first and only full pregnancy when I was 3 weeks shy of my 43rd birthday. Son 21 in a few weeks and I am nearly 64. I do get upset that I probably won’t be around and worry about leaving him without support. TBH it can bring me to tears cos I adore him