DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

Also I’m presuming if it’s a school ball there are dcs to think about too ( as well as DH). This isn’t all about op’s “empowerment.”

How would you feel arriving at school to have everyone say: “My dad said your mum came in the nude.”

Well that would be a clear lie, wouldn't it?

You think dads go home and tell their children that other children's mums are naked, when they're not? My DCs father wouldn't dream of commenting to them about how revealing a woman's outfit was. Highly inappropriate topic for one thing, and for another, they'd think he'd turned into a right creep. Also, they'd find it bizarre that he lied.

I would say the same if her DH was planning to wear a Jim Carrey Riddler style loud green suit with question marks all over it - it’s cheap and vulgar and will make a bad impression on people OP is presumably trying to make a good impression on (or why else bother going?)

Mmmm… not sooo sure it’s miles off…

You know full well it's miles off!

Well doing it in the first place is inappropriate. And trust me, it’s the creeps that will notice most.

I think you might be thinking in feet not miles?

I don't know, I think I'd encourage that one.

I dislike those types of dresses so much (admittedly I've never seen someone wearing on in RL) Clothes are supposed to be either practical, or make you look good, or possibly both. This dress does neither.

There's a huge difference between a woman wearing a dress that doesn't fit the norms of the occasion and a group of men lying about her to their children. The more I read about the type of environment this ball is supposedly going to take place in, the more I think the OP should wear the dress to give all these sad braying imbeciles something to talk about.

she's entitled to wear what she wants of course, but that's the sort of dress that only looks good if your name is Kim kardashian, you need some great curves to wear that and she aint got em I'm afraid. I believe a different dress with more vibrant solid colours and less "showing" would have looked more flattering on her. My point is: she doesn't have the body to wear that dress, and I don't care if she's 26 or 60.

As per your husband OP I would tell him to feck off and wear whatever makes you happy.

Oh c'mon, this dress is even more terrible that the OP's, looks like it's taken out of a Barbara Cartland book cover.

@Summerbay23 It's like a ribbed condom.

yep.

I wish Anita had worn a clingy sari. They can be every bit as sexy, but a lot classier. Like Alia Bhatt at the Met Ball.

I like the dress @Winter2020 linked to.

I agree, the pink version might make a nice wedding dress but she’d be a laughing stock if she turned up to the school ball in it.

I actually think it’s the combination of the colour with the style. It’s just a bit “Truly Scrumptious “ from Chitty Chiity Bang Bang. But I think in a more sober colour it could be ok for a ball.

Hi OP,

I like translucent dresses. I also like one shoulder fitted dresses with a slit. I don't like either of the examples you've posted but I know they are not what you're planning on wearing anyway.

I do think *on this occasion that it's ok for your husband to have an opinion on this matter. You have said yourself that men like to look at women in barely any clothes and think they look good. That is, of course correct. The problem imo is that dressing so blatantly with that purpose in mind on this occasion *looks desperate and insecure. Sorry. I've tried to rewrite this a few times so that it doesn't come out bitchy but I can't. It's like you're reading the room all wrong. The fact that your husband went quite and used the word 'sad' suggests he actually cringed inwardly. I'm wondering if he's more at home in these type of environments?

Personally I think you should treat yourself to a knockout translucent dress that shows off your amazing figure and organise a separate night out for you and husband.

But for the ball I do think you should try to fit in more.

Sorry about the messy format and typos above

I just think ‘exhibitionist’.
Not in the least elegant or classy.

“elegant and classy” seem to be quite subjective, what is “elegant” for you may well be considered “trashy” for your next door neighbour. This sad I don’t think the British actress look is “trashy” at all, I just think that sheer dress is not the most flattering. “Trashy” are those drunk 16 year old girls going clubbing in Newcastle dressed with 20 pounds tiny dresses from Shein stumbling down the street in stripper heels while checking their phones.

Yes there is a huge difference. And no one is defending men commenting thus - just predicting they might and that OP should consider that, given the school is really her DC’s social stomping ground more than hers.

Yes, parents will go home and discuss what X was wearing, how much Y drank, and isn’t Z a rude arse, along with isn’t A lovely and wasn't B’s sports car to die for, so kind of him to take you for a spin in it. Unless they live in the west wing and the children are being supervised by the staff, they will also likely overhear or even (as my 15+kids would be) join in.

I’m always amazed at how youth seems to keep humans warm (or maybe it’s just booze).

I moved from the SE to the NW and that first winter I developed chilblains - I had thought they were something your Nan warned you about based on her growing up in the 1920s not something I might get after the millennium because I absentmindedly left my gloves on the bus.

Anyway, since the Chilbain Affair part of my own, personally appropriate-dress criteria (which all occurs in real world, not on the red carpet) is seasonal and Great Britain only has about two weeks a year where Big Knickers & Bubblewrap might work weather wise and it’s near impossible to predict where they will occur.

Hopefully actresses in statement outfits during the winter months have nearby staff with emergency mittens and woollen overcoats, or very short distances between limo and venue door because no frock is worth risking one’s extremities for!