DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

Not being ridiculous or joking.

In that case I'd have suggested it might endear me to some secret mn'ers, who could come up and congratulate me for wearing what I want and fuxk what dh thinks. At least mutter girl power, which is what they said on Womans Hour

I mean, you can wear what you like, but personally, I think this looks awful.

Dressing like this after divorce, when you didn’t dress like this before, screams drama and issues too, although I’m sure I’ll be flamed for this.

It's like a ribbed condom.

But thanks for disproving the notion that beautiful people look good in anything!

So you're seriously considering wearing something like this? 😳

I genuinely don't know what to say - except don't. You will likely not even be allowed in.

She does not look amazing.

id kill to have her figure, but it's still the figure of 40+ yo woman.

I dislike the 'see through dress over underwear' look anyway, but to pull it off you need to be under 30 & rake thin.

As a mere mortal at a ball you'd look well out of place. Your DH was reasonable & polite.

Assuming you’re not just having a laugh and this is actually serious, it begs the question - why? I believe in wearing what you like, but balls are usually pretty formal occasions and about looking classy and blending in with the dress code, rather than looking half-dressed. You run the risk of people thinking you’re attention-seeking (and you probably are if you’re honest - you want your body noticed and complimented). What would you think if your DH decided he was going to go shirtless and just wear a dinner jacket and bow tie, to show off his six-pack? I’d stick to something a bit more classy - maybe a couple of sheer lace panels if you must?

Go ahead and wear it and take the perverse pleasure in embarrassing your husband as well as yourself.

Sounds like you're punching as he is classy and you aren't.

She looks ridiculous in that dress. Nothing to do with age - it’s just awful.

I wouldn’t be dressing ultra ‘safe’ like Kate either. Just in something not hideous and appropriate.

Girl power?
Firstly I consider myself a woman. Not a girl. Calling adult women girls is ridiculous and demeaning.
Secondly what is empowering about wearing something inappropriate, unflattering and ridiculous?

"DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style."

I am not sure you need a divorce but this is very old fashioned relationship where your DH tells you what to wear? That went out with my grandparents generation - and I am your age!

I saw Anita Rani's dress and it grabbed my attention for all the wrong reasons. Colour, shape, underwear. Completely unflattering.

By all means dress sexy show off your figure whatever, but don't wear that (it's not sexy) and prioritise style.

On that basis I agree with your OH

This dress is not feminist. It would never exist in a world where we were emancipated from the patriarchy.

You should wear what you like but this current trend where women wear a dress that shows all their underwear is not a good one. Find another dress

That dress looks like it wants a debobbler running over or.

Bianca Censori is not a good look. Not when you’re 25 and certainly not when you’re in your forties.

She looks fab but that dress is awful!

OP it's quite sad that you feel the need to show as much of yourself off?
Balls are classy, formal, elegant.
This is cheap, tacky, vulgar.
I have girl power by the bucketload, but at 46.... there's just no need to let it all be on show.

I agree. I hate "girl power". Plus this is just dressing for the male gaze.
No man is going to say "boy power" and turn up somewhere in a see through suit.

I don’t think the dress is nearly as bad as is being made out and Anita is beautiful.

But it is also clear to me that if you have a figure similar to her’s that you can do a lot better. (Diana’s Revenge Dress as an example is classy, was considered a bit daring at the time, and is also sexy)

You can wear what ever you want. It’s not up to your DH in the slightest.

However that dress that Anita is wearing is not a good look on her. The concept is ok but it’s that the underneath bit is like a swimming costume. Had that been more like a cami I think it would have been better.

And if you can wear what you like then I assume you won’t mind if he turns up in grey joggers and a T-shirt with pizza stains.

It’s not about the dress, it’s about the divorce.

Its not a nice dress, I'm sure there are nicer ones of you want to display your great bod.

I don't have a clue who she is, but that dress is awful.

I think you are just using this as a reason to make us laugh at her and it's very cruel. She's going through a divorce and that can hit people very very hard and they can make decisions that aren't always wise.

Trying to emulate the poor that woman Kanye West has tripping three steps behind him is never going to work
Rani looked mutton dressed as lamb; yes, she has an ok figure for her age, but just because you can doesn't mean you should.
But hey, it is up to an individual to wear what they want, when they want, despite the fact that it may be totally inappropriate, ridiculous, fabulous, or embarrasing
So your dh is entitled to an opinion, but you wear what you want

"I want to wear something lovely"
"I was looking at transparent dresses"

No, @DontShow. Just no.

The dress is unflattering and unstylish.