DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

I think making the thread is part of the process. Outraging the frumpy, pearl clutchy 'legs or boobs never both' crowd of MN is practice for the big night.

😆applestruddle i trying something nice but,,,,..................it is horrible

That's exactly what came to mind. She wore this for the media inches, , that's all

She looks ridiculous

OP,
Is your husband an ex premier league footballer?

I am admittedly not committed to exercise, so my stomach is not toned. If I wore that dress, I'd look like I was wearing a swimming costume wrapped in bubble wrap.

I don't think this is a situation where less is more.

Iv worn a floor length fishnet dress with nothing except underwear under it and massive chunky boots.

but I was 18 and was going out clubbing at my local rock/metal club!I did have a body to die for though!

wear whatever you want but none of the current crop of transparent dresses no matter how well they have been styled or how good the body looked in them have looked good to my eye.

maybe if you wore a slip under so it hid the actual underwear as I think it’s not the dress sometimes it’s the seeing the bra and knickers quite often that takes away from it.

iv no opinion or judgement on you wearing it but it’s absolutely not for me! I’d also probably think it didn’t suit you but iv thought that with everyone iv seen on the red carpet etc in one so it wouldn’t be a personal thing against you.

If AR or anyone else wants to wear a dress like this for attention, post- divorce, they need to start therapy.

She's doing it for attention to further her career. Or to make her ex jealous. Or whatever.

And, if you read about her and The Dress to put 2 fingers up at her strict background when she was a child.

I was really disappointed that Anita Rani wore that dress. She’s beautiful and intelligent and she really didn’t need to grab attention in that way. I don’t think it’s a good look on anyone. If I’d worn something like that after my divorce (pre-children when I did have the body for it) I’d look back and think I was having a crisis.

https://www.revolve.com/mobile/camila-coelho-rena-lace-maxi-dress-in-nude/dp/COEL-WD419/?d=F&currency=GBP&countrycode=GB&deeplink=true&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD9qhJiQGksib1KiLMyaNxe9nLShx&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0a-FjpTehgMVPJdQBh3tnQWGEAQYEyABEgI2SvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.asos.com/asos-luxe/asos-luxe-drop-pearl-embellished-bodysuit-maxi-dress-in-blush-pink/prd/205157795?affid=28698&_EAIaIQobChMI0a-FjpTehgMVPJdQBh3tnQWGEAQYJyABEgJiePD_BwE&channelref=product+search&ppcadref=21095812988%7C%7C&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOD8KAEGxGGcWu2i8BcudTqfR&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0a-FjpTehgMVPJdQBh3tnQWGEAQYJyABEgJiePD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

These have the same vibe.

Wear the see through dress to something with your friends.

Don't wear anything that might make people jusge you unkindly, make your dh feel awkward or potentially embarassing for your kids to a school event.

I'd guess Championship League at best.

It's an awful dress and your husband is right. You should however be free to wear what you want when you want even when it is completely inappropriate.

cher wasdoing this years ago still doesnt look good

Anita Rani is beautiful and has a stunning figure. However, that dress is grim. A pobbled, tea stained net curtain over Spanx is not a good look.

Confidence is what makes a lot of women look beautiful. You don’t have to wear something thin, flimsy, revealing or shocking to get attention.

Looking at the ‘most expensive schools’ - regardless of what OP feels, this is definitely part of DH’s brand. You send your kids to these schools because you want to belong with the people who are there, to talk about them over business drinks, to network on sports days (and at the balls).

It will be excruciating for DCs if their mother embarrasses them in a vulgar dress, and I suspect that if DH - who can afford the fees and has kept OP at home in a manner which she describes as ‘posh’ and not requiring her to work, then I suspect he is going to veto a crap transparent dress.

I’ve seen the cattiness in these circles simply over a DC applying to a non Russell Group uni; the bragging when one of them is deferring a place at Oxford because they have a part in a film with Al Pacino in the summer (I kid you not). These people do not take hostages. A mother dressing like a burlesque dancer hoping to make the husbands desire her, despite the ‘yes dears’ to supposedly catty wives, is just a failed attempt to stick your fingers up at these women. And their partners, who frankly could give a sh*t either way.

Much better to spend a few grand on an exquisite, tasteful designer dress, shoes and accessories and rise above them all.

To be fair I think Cher looked pretty good!

i think it screams desperation.

Look @DontShow I am a firm believer in women wearing whatever they like, whenever they like, but even I am struggling with wearing this type of red carpet 'look at me' dress at a school ball.

Genuine question - what kind of impression do you want to make at this social occasion? What personal impact do you want to make? How do you want to feel?
If you answer these questions, I think the quality of the suggestions of options will be better.

This is a good analogy!

AR's dress looks awful but something celebrities can get away with whereas regular people can't, regardless of figure!

Agree. This is a better dress than Rani's. Still wouldn't wear it to school!

Not a fan of this look but it runs on and on. I think she looks confident on the red carpet though, don’t agree with the harsh comments.

Depends on the ball and dress code but don’t agree you should have to dress according to DH.

I’m never comfortable with people being accused of ‘attention seeking’ or wanting people to ‘look at meeeeeee’ - life would be dull indeed without these colourful characters and I’ve definitely worn outfits that would see some on MN recoil in horror.

That said, it’s all about the environment and situation, isn’t it?

The type of dress in question? Bang on for a hen do in Ibiza or a red carpet event (as demo’s). Your kids school ball? Not so much.

The dress is awful.
Why would you want to wear something like that and what type of impression are you trying to make? Are you lacking in confidence?