DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

I found another close up pic of Anita in that dress. It seems that the ‘bobbles’ are pearls and silver bugle beads, so perhaps the ‘underwear’ would stand out less in the flesh so to speak. That said, I don’t think it is at all flattering - the colour is difficult to wear and apart from showing that Anita has great legs, it looks like she has no waist. As PPs have said she’s a beautiful woman and it actually detracts from that beauty, but perhaps that wasn’t the point. In any event, she said she felt great in it, and it was the BAFTAs so good on her.

As to whether or not it would be appropriate for a school (or any ball), nope, I don’t think so. There are far more glamorous and flattering ‘sheer’ dresses online that wouldn’t also embarrass your children.

How about something like this?

https://www.temperleylondon.com/products/silvana-halter-dress-black

I really like that dress. Since the OP has a body good enough to be happy to basically wear a bikini to a formal ball, my guess is it would look lovely and classy.

Also, it follows the classic ‘boobs or legs’ rule.

Don't do it. It will be a massive faux pas, you are likely to be the talk of the ball (not in a good way) and when it gets back to your kids, how are they going to feel? You have to pick your occasion. I'm not saying don't go for a dress in that style for an evening out at some point, but this ball is not the time or place for it.

Is she wearing a merkin underneath that swimming Cozzie?

Oldskool Burlesque dancers allegedly did.

She looks ridiculous and so would you.

Yep. No matter what the age or figure, that "outfit" looks ridiculous and inappropriate ANYWHERE

Go for it OP.
Your DH can wear the top and bottoms.
He’d be classy and all those glamour puss’ hearts would be a fluttering.

Now this one is beautiful and classy. The one you show at the top of your thread is a disaster.

Just dont let him near any naked flames
or Nylon carpets….

"Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46."

If you've got the figure then you don't need transparent.
The current trend of women/girls trying to show off the maximum amount of body is depressing - especially when they are also upset by the male gaze (but that's another conversation).

Lovely would be classy. Classy would be backless, or halter-neck, with either long dress length (which flows beautifuly as you move), or short if you have lovely legs you want to make others jealous about. A transparent dress requires either an absolutely perfect figure, or a shift more or less hiding everything anyway. They look (at best) good from one angle (frontal for camera shots) and rarely from the back.

But I question your motivation. I can get you want to dress beautifully so you feel good about yourself and not just wearing an old thing that's seen better days.
But you seem to want to make people look at you, rather than thinking about you and DH having a lovely time.

Have you rationalised why that's important to you??

I’ve always felt that see through dresses should be worn like this or not worn at all. To me, the Anita Rani one (and similar worn at red carpet events) look frumpy because all they do is showcase your sensible support garments.

This is not sexy
https://www.marksandspencer.com/firm-control-cool-comfort-shaping-body/p/clp60533931?color=ROSEQUARTZ#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r4c4

The OP described this one as ‘Fairy Godmother’ so I assume not her style.

She is beautiful, but I don't think the dress is flattering in any way.

No - this is definitely not dressing for the male gaze.

This is dressing for the female gaze. To say, look I've still got it, I'm not old, I can still compete with (some) younger women who manage to do this effortlessly.

Or it's dressing for the photographers with a side-helping of "look what you're missing out on" to the ex-husband.

Then you are being very silly.

You'd be talked about and not in a good way.

Seriously, how can you even begin to think it's appropriate?

Is this for real?

Am I allowed to ask if you’re nouveau riche OP?

Then why make the thread in the first place?

So this is for Eton, Harrow, Rugby, Charterhouse, Westminster, Winchester, St Paul's?

For goodness sake - get a grip.

Turning up semi naked is not going to be a good look.

What impression do you think you will give to the teachers, for a start?

I think she looks dreadful. I hate the whole thing about transparent clothing- no one looks good in it. It is unnecessary and vulgar. Why would anyone want to show their body to strangers and cameras. It is bizarre. That dress looks like big underwear on show under a bit of net.

Attention probably.

And the wrong kind, just like if she turned up in that awful dress.

No way 😆

Like I said, Real Housewives vibes.

Yeah, you nailed it. That dress needs contrasting underwear. Not spanx and tummy control in Naturelle.

Also thanks for the KM nostalgia. Much needed - she knows how to conceal and reveal.

This. OP, unless you are the much-younger ex-glamour model trophy wife of a Russian oligarch (in which case most people will have written you off already, and his money will mean people will remain superficially polite to you), this is not the dress to wear if you want to make friends and influence people amongst the school parents.

And if you aren’t interested in any of that, why is your DH wasting his money on “the most expensive school in Britain”?