DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

Anita Rani is stunning.
But!....Her outfit reminds me of a bathing suit with a net curtain thrown over it for good measure.

Also a tad attention seeking?
But!... In this instance she is wearing it in a purposeful manner iykwim - as a kind of two -fingers to my Ex / I am still relationship-worthy-gorgeous/ Hey! Look how good I look type of thing. So you could see why she chose this outfit.

Which would ask me why you would choose to wear it to a wedding?...I thought it was only awful Mothers of the Bride or Groom who try to upstage the brides dress on the wedding day?

Quickly runs away .

To which I realise to late that you want to wear it to a Ball and not a wedding - so I would suggest wear whatever floats your boat. 😊
Sheepishly slinks away!

So you are saying it’s better to let a woman make a fool of herself in public and possibly alienate people she is going to have to deal with for years rather than answer a question she has specifically asked? Because being truthful might sound judgmental?

Interesting perspective.

How can a parent wear a sheer dress to an event at a school their children go to? Do you not care about how your kids would feel if they got teased over it (trust me, parents would go home and tell their kids that so and so’s mum was wearing a see through dress). I’d never want to humiliate my kids because of my big ego.

Nobody has suggested wearing it to a wedding?

My kids went to private school for a short time.

A woman turned up to pick up her child/stepchild. She was wearing a skirt that only just covered her back side, her top only just held in her breasts, wearing high heels and holding on to her man.

Another woman turned up at an event for the school where only a few parents were invited into a set room, wearing a long dress that barely covered her large breasts.

Both women are obviously free to wear what they want but both outfits were clearly inappropriate for the occasion / time.

It is not judging them for what they were wearing or what they looked like but for not having the sense for knowing when it is not appropriate.

And bog off with the hive mind shit.

I’m getting Real Housewives vibes from OP.

A terrible dress..

And it seems I cannot spell today either.
'too' late not 'to' late. 😬

While you can wear what you want, my honest opinion is that style of dress is neither classy enough nor appropriate for a formal ball where the dress code is going to be weighted more towards glamour.

This is a slightly different tangent but I have learnt a lot about private school etiquette on mumsnet and it's made me realise that 'having money' is not freeing. In fact, it's quite the opposite. There are so many rules to adhere to and you have to display and express your wealth in exactly the right way unless you want to be a social pariah.

You are not wrong. Though, I do think some schools are more rigid than others.

Bearing in mind the POW got bullied at one point for having non-upper class parents and the Middleton parents give every sign of at least trying to fit in, I think the OP’s children are going to have significant issues with a mother who either can’t or won’t follow the ‘rules’ (silly as those rules may seem to her).

That's not what I'm saying at all.

I'm not the type that denies judgement is happening at all times by all people - I was making an observation that it's only a certain type of post that seems to be "allowed" to have judgement without the sanctimonious folk leaping in to say they'd never judge anyone or their situation.

Capische?

Unless I have completely missed the right threads (which is very possible), pretty much all these "rules" are common sense.

State or private, that outfit will be perceived in exactly the same way at a school ball.

If you want to know my personal opinion, it's that dresses like those are veering on the passé now, with the hover straps being the in thing.

I also don't think it's appropriate and wouldn't wear it myself, and I especially wouldn't wear something my husband explicitly had said he didn't want me to. He's never ever said that before so I'd know he really meant it if he did.

Plenty of beautiful sexy dresses out there without trying to pretend you're on the red carpet.

Weirdly I hate both the dress and every single judgy comment about it.

Go for it OP, you are clearly committed to wearing it and that's fine - if it doesn't matter what your DH thinks and you're happy to wear it to a school event then it certainly doesn't matter what anyone here thinks.

It’s try hard and screams desperate at any age. Don’t do it.

A terrible accident has occurred involving the ironing starch!

Except I’ve never said that so you are apparently feeling able to judge me based on ….. absolutely nothing (or your own internal monologue).

As I said, interesting perspective.

I’m not sure OP, I’m not even sure it did Anita Rani justice, she’s a stunning woman as are you.

If you feel you want to wear it then do it, I’m sure others will be wearing more risqué stuff. As a parent at a mid level private school I don’t feel people go all out at balls, not as much as they did at my kid’s state school at their school ball.

A beautiful woman with a brilliant figure doesn't need to put everything on display. She would still be a beautiful woman with a brilliant figure even if she wore a frumpy old Laura Ashley gown, or a bin bag, or something understated and timeless.

In fact if you have a nice face and a great figure wear something understated that doesn't compete with your natural beauty.

I agree! Can’t see what’s attractive about hover straps? I think they just look stupid like the dress doesn’t fit properly.

Like you’ve got the dry cleaner’s wire hanger stuck in the back of your hair!

Jesus think of your kids in this!

...ooo I saw yer mums knickers

Nah. It's so Kim Kardashian.

@DontShow why don't you wear what you want? I do and don't care what other people think as I don't have to look at it. The photo of Anita Rani is not flattering to my eye but then she doesn't have to look at herself unless she seeks out a mirror. Maybe she felt brilliant in it, who knows?