DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

on a red carpet, I am not sure if it's that vulgar. It's designed to attract attention, but when you have an amazing body, why not show it off a bit in that context. Some of these dresses are just there to show a naked woman, others a bit more fun. Bikini and sheer kaftan are ok on the beach.

In a school ball... it's just pathetic.

Trinny had an elegant way of doing sheer on Instagram today. (Sorry if I'm repeating. I haven't read all 20 pages).

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8OyISaq3gO/?hl=en

Most of these dresses are designed by men. Strange that.

Net curtains springs to mind

some of them gay, some are designed by women, not sure what you are trying to prove here.

No one is forcing celebs to wear them - that's why you haven't seen Kate Middleton in a sheer dress since her Uni day, and the likes of Rihanna are such a big name, designers are falling over themselves for them to accept to wear them.

Taste is a hard thing to admit to not having.
The curtain is not going down well as tasteful.
When you add in the event and the fact of private schools are full of people who value the educational value of the school.
Most will be judge the dress on anyone whom wore it as tacky, vulgar and just not done.

Do you want that to be how you are seen, because your never going to be able to over write that , you will always be the tasteless dress woman.

This isnt about a dress at all is it?

Your choice on what to wear, not my style but then my style isnt what most people would wear either! Think "elegant goth" if there is such a thing lol

Its about the fact that your husband would happily ogle a good looking woman in the gossip mags in a sexy sheer dress but doesnt want his wife to wear that same outfit because its not classy enough. He is a fucking hypocrite, plain and simple.

If its ok on her then it should be ok on you and if its not ok on you can he explain why he thinks its ok on her?

I think your language and turn of phrase will be more of an issue at such an event that what you look like.

I’m 40’s, divorced and have a decent figure. But I wouldn’t wear that dress. It shouts look at me. Classy is best for a ball I think.

Read the room @DontShow

Weird and unnecessary 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s definitely a ‘look at meeeee’ style. On a red carpet you can kind of understand it but a non celebrity school ball it’s just, why?!

It’s not an either / or. They can be and are both unsuitable for a school ball though I find this one slightly less so - it looks like it would cover the model’s legs if she stands still rather than letting it all hang out like the see through dress.

The dress is lovely and I'm sure you have a wonderful figure to fit it, but it's not appropriate for a ball; it's more of a showbiz party type of dress.

My friend wore needle and thread dress to the school ball last summer omg she looked fabulous without it all hanging out.

I was looking at Marchesa yesterday, now there's a designer who turns incredible fabrics into dresses of dreams.

So I have to say a hard no @DontShow

"Marchesa Notte Gowns" https://www.marchesa.com/en-gb/collections/long-dresses

You'd wear that to a school ball?

Fucking hell.

Oh have a break will you!
I doubt she turned up to meet her children's teachers in that dress.
Cop on.

Do you know, that actually makes more sense than a mid forties woman wanting to wear a sheer dress at a school ball (which just doesn’t ring true to me at all).

So my opinion is I didn’t think the dress on Anita was at all flattering. She could have worn something far more stunning and attractive.

The red dress is a lot better than the net curtain.

wearing this at 46 ! Mutton dressed as lamb, and also tacky and not one bit classy

“AIBU?”
”Yes.”
”well… well I’m NOT and you’re all mean and not feminists.”

wear the horrible dress if you like but it’s inappropriate and tacky.

I'm sure you have a lovely figure but this is not appropriate for a parent ball at your child's school.

Best case scenario, parent and teacher eyebrows are raised about your lack of judgement and understanding of unspoken social rules of the group (i.e. it 'others' you a bit).

Worst case scenario, it could end in embarrassment and/or friendship difficulties for your DC because of the way their parents have come to view you.

Obviously you can make your own choices but I think you have to do it with your eyes open to those outcomes, fair or not.

But it IS like a work networking event. Its half the reason why people get their children into schools like that, for connections for themselves and their DC

Yeah Im with you, but it is what it is

Funny how mumsnetters wouldn't dream of judging another woman, first impressions and feelings not apparently being a thing amongst the Hive Mind - but say you fancy wearing a sheer dress to show off your banging figure, in your 40s no less, and you have people falling over themselves to tell you that everyone will either be laughing at you, thinking you look cheap and easy, or (for the men) wondering what you're like in bed.