DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

I suspect this is a parents only fund raiser.

I don’t think that is appropriate for this kind of ball either. It’s a red carpet dress not a ball gown.

What if a pupil hears a parent say “Dontshow looked bloody ridiculous at the ball last night in that see through dress and it gets round the other children?

Anita Rani's dress is red carpet attire, not a ball gown. Wearing that dress to a ball would be inappropriate and TBH I would refuse to go with you if you insisted on wearing it. You're entitled to go wearing whatever you like but let's not pretend whoever goes with you isn't going to be affected by it.

how do you know she is a beautiful woman . you can't see her face. The most you can say is she wears beautiful make up, if you like that sort of thing. I don't . I think it looks like shit. And I object to this cultural expectation for women to cover their faces in it

All women are beautiful

that comes across as bitter and resentful. She clearly is beautiful, you can see her bone structure, obviously. And no one expects you to wear make up

I’m sorry for whatever is going on with you, but this isn’t the answer.

Don’t be ridiculous @sixtyandsomething of course you can see her face / features

That dress is awful and it doesn’t look good in my opinion. I do however, think you should wear whatever dress you want so if you want a sheer dress then go for it.

My mate wore a see through dress to our uni prom. I prefer them when it looks more clashy with what's underneath. Midnight blue lace dress, black undies.

School prom I'm not sure. Are you a teacher or a parent? If your a parent I'd give less shits about dh and more about my child's but you do you. I'd die inside if my mum turned up at school in a see through dress even if see looked like Kylie. If you was my teacher I'd think it was great. If you was my kids teacher well I'd judge your professionalism and that's the truth. So it all depends. My sil would wear this anywhere and look amazing but she always, always wears skimpy clothing. She could wear it to a funeral and get complements and she is your age.

@user09876543 the 6th formers went at my DDs school

I think anyone wearing that dress would look ridiculous. Even on a red carpet ( which is about getting in the papers) it's not a great look.

I think your husband was saying that, not what you've heard.

People at the ball will be staring at you for all the wrong reasons and your husband knows that.

No, just don't. It's embarrassing. Just wear a lovely, non-transparent, dress.

nothing is "going on with me" other than decade after decade of watching teenage girls buckle under the societal expectation that they smear their faces with utter crap in order to feel acceptable to be seen out.

it is heart breaking.

I have never worn make up in my life, and never will, and obviously am far happier and healthier and richer and have more time because of it.

It is heart breaking though, to see so many teenage girls look around them and take on the belief that they HAVE TO, and people like this woman, going around in public ever day with her face completely covered in shit like this are contributing to that belief.

and any woman saying this is "beauty" is also contributing to this misogynistic oppression

@sixtyandsomething your use of the word ‘smear’ is deeply unpleasant. And your anger and dislike towards and of women who make different choices to you is abundantly clear.

You do not seem ‘happier’ at all.

There clearly is something going on with you. Teenage girls aren’t buckling, they don’t need to wear make up, never mind smear.

im sorry you feel however you feel about your own face, thats clearly the issue here, envy, resentment, and trying to pretend this is some form of feminism crusade is silly, as your words give you away.

OP....if you want to wear the dress, wear the dress

You say you've got the figure for it, so wear it

Your husband doesn't want you to wear it....do you usually do what he says?

It's a posh do at a posh school.....I'm sure this dress will be perfect for that vibe 😁

I really like the black polka dot one suggested up thread.

I don't really see why this is about female empowerment or misogyny.
If my life partner of any gender was going to an event that would include being scrutinised by people that valued social status (like I'd imagine a top end private school event would be) and was going to wear something I thought was going to attract negative attention, sneers and nastiness I'd definitely be telling them.
If her husband had bought a cheap novelty suit covered in inion jacks from amazon to wear and the OP did a post about her concerns about it , I can't imagine anyone saying 'he can wear what he likes, go him'.

Sorry OP, not what you want to hear but she looks tacky.

That dress would look tacky at any age, doesn't matter whether she's 46 or 20.

Yoy will put other guests off their dinner if you wear that to a ball.

Don't be so ridiculous.

@sixtyandsomething "I have never worn make up in my life, and never will, and obviously am far happier and healthier and richer and have more time because of it."

I'd hate to see what you'd have been like if you did succumb to wearing makeup. Praise the Lord you never did 🙏

She has a media career and presumably is dressed like that to create a stir and get more coverage. Assume this isn’t the case for op!

I agree wear what you want, but you asked for opinions and you're getting them.

I'm with the majority, I think it looks awful, not even stylish or edgy! .

I'm all for being a bit different and in the 'wear what makes you feel good' but that wouldn't be it for me. (And yes it does look like a swimming costume with a net curtain over the top camp)

I’m sure all school are different.

At our school there are endless charity fund raisers (or it feels like that). There are also year 10 and year 13 proms. At the charity fundraisers you’re paying £100+ a head to attend and then expected to bid on auction items, stuck cash in envelopes etc. no kids at these. No teachers either generally with the exception occasionally of the smt and governors.

At the proms parents are invited for pre dinner drinks mainly to take photos with their kids. Then they leave and it’s kids only. Supervised by teachers.

At neither type would this dress be even vaguely suitable.