DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

People can be very judgemental. Let's not pretend otherwise. And some people having made judgements then extend that to the children. It's not right but we don't live in a world where everything is right.

We live in a world where if someone wears see-through clothing to a school ball, some probably many other parents will judge and some may mock and children may come to hear of it and before you know it the kids arent being invited to play dates and parties and are being teased because mummy didn't wear clothes and everyone saw her knickers.

The reality is that there is what ought to be and there is what is.

This is the latter. And people should always make choices based on being OK with the consequences (fair or unfair) of those choices.

If you really think the parents are going to go home and say @DontShow ‘dressed like a woman not a mum’ if she shows up dressed like that, you are being naive. Even if the parents don’t snigger and make comments (they will), by the time the description has been passed around the the 6th form the comments are going to be nasty and it’s the children who will suffer.

Also, not sure why one needs to be recognised ‘as a woman and not just a mum’ at a school event. You are literally there in that capacity.

Personally I think it looks tacky regardless of figure, but you do you.

has it not occurred to you that maybe she is dressing like that for herself? And she doesn’t give a fuck what you and any other man thinks?

It would still be very naive if she thought that other people wouldn't think she was wearing inappropriate and attention seeking clothes. She doesn't live in a bubble. It's called being aware of other people's perception of you.

It's the type of dress that would be extremely unforgiving of the slightest wardrobe malfunction. You're only ever one dodgy stitch away from a nipple in the fondue. You'd have to fake your own death to escape the notoriety.

Sorry you aren't getting the validation you wanted as it looks like most of the votes are with your Dh. Maybe he really does have a point.

Aha! You have a cunning plan to raise school fees by inviting people to pin money all over you to form an actual garment? Or will you be selling sexual services? Trashy, but resourceful.

There's no way I'd escort you anywhere in a dress like that. I suppose DH could hire a professional to play appropriately-attired wife and mother of DC for the evening.

Most teens are mortified if their mum stands out, especially if they are then subjected to several years of ‘your mum’ jokes afterwards.

Doesn’t mean mums can’t dress up sexy and have a wild night out from time
to time, does mean keeping those outfits for occasions that don’t come
with a high likelihood of your kid’s mates seeing the photos/hearing the after event gossip.

Well since the OP has made it clear she’s aiming the outfit at the men, saying:

Sorry, but some men like a woman who struts around with not a lot on and think she looks good.

That doesn’t really apply here.

She looks fantastic and it's a lovely dress ... for the occasion that she's at. It's not a school ball dress (regardless of if you have the figure or not).

I wouldn't really care who she was dressing like that for, the effect would still be that she was wearing something inappropriate for the event, and that makes her look like an eejit.

The people who wear stuff this revealing on the red carpet (not just women) are doing it for themselves too. They're doing it to be noticed, to gain attention, to stay in peoples minds so that they can further their careers.

Even if OP isn't specifically aiming for the male gaze, she's still doing it to be noticed, because she wants people to pay attention to her.

The comments here! Jesus fucking Christ.

Nobody would bat and eyelid if a younger celebrity wore that dress, the agism here is shocking.

We aren't doing that 'youre too old to wear that.' shit anymore. Ask anybody under the age of 35.

I actually don't even think it's that revealing. I see people talking around in crop tops / bralet tops and shorts all the time when the weather is nice.

Op wear what you like don't let anybody else stop you. If other people don't like it then that's on them.

Do you really think that dress is appropriate to wear to a ball at your childs' private school?

Anita Ranis ex DH must be sighing with relief that he doesn’t have to be seen out with her dressed like that.

The picture in the OP shows someone who would clearly look fucking marvellous in anything they chose to wear, wearing probably the only dress in the world ever, that doesn't suit her even a tiny bit. And I don't think that particular example would suit anyone, anywhere, it's just not a very nice dress

IMO

Age is irrelevant. It's completely ridiculous and inappropriate to wear to a school ball.

Oh man. I wish I wasn’t so poor and that my children went to ONE OF THE BEST private schools in the country because I would love to see you do this OP.

Kudos on your fantastic figure. I hope all the husbands want to bang you.

If 20 year old second wife (since she couldn’t be the mother and be that young) came to a school ball dressed like that, it would be even more inappropriate.

And by the way, you shouldn’t wear a crop top and shorts to a school ball either. HTH.

Not a single post here has said that she’d too old - they’ve all stated that it is not an appropriate dress for a school ball, that she will make an idiot of herself, that her kids will have to live down the embarrassment and that they agree with the DH, that its a bit sad.

If you're on there enough to know that, presumably you're in the second category yourself then?

Ah so it’s mainly male attention you’re after. You really are a bit sad aren’t
you. Bless.

Would you go to the ball wearing old jeans and a t shirt if that's what you felt like wearing? It would be disrespectful to the hosts/ organisers if you did. You want to wear something gorgeous and special that isn't restrained or copies the royal family. That's great, but maybe dial back on the sheer fabric - showing too much body is as disrespectful as showing up in jeans. I don't think Rani wore this to the after party, only on the red carpet.

Look if the husband isn't happy to escort his wife, it says something.
This is not about age.
This is not about girl power.
This is about respect for where your headed.
The shower curtain is so spot on.
Why would anyone be willing to embarrass themselves, their husband, their child and their friends.
Plus what a waste of money.
Show the dress to a friend in real life and see if they would wear it too a ball ....

This