DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

Is anyone else reminded of Alan Partridge shouting “You will not show your veracity on my show!” at Yvonne Boyd?

Oooh, a see-through tux! He'd have to wear a shimmery organza dress shirt with it, I think. And a black bow tie.

😂@CryptoFascistMadameCholet!

Something like this gives sheer and it's also a wow if you've got a good figure, without showing your spanx

Jenny packham

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I don’t believe you. No way would a 46 year old go to a ball dressed like that unless they were an attention seeking reality show wannabe.

The only place a dress like that would work, imo, is an evening function of a multi-function wedding in Dubai, after the marriage, when all the ladies come out in their finery.

Anywhere in Europe it just looks like hooker-wear. It’s extremely immodest, extremely look-at-me-and-only-me. It’s there to attract the male gaze. A private school fundraiser is second only to a church wedding for the most inappropriate place to wear such a thing!

Ime, in the Middle East where obviously the male gaze exists but in a different way to the West, women are more inclined to dress for themselves and for the fashion, safe in the knowledge there will be no leering, no sniggering (because many women will be wearing such a thing).

England, at a school function is just 😂

Just wear what you want to to wear. Fashion should be an expression of yourself.

I think Anita Rani looks great. I am sure you would look great too.

I think this dress is lovely - a potential compromise on achieving the look you want without standing out. But if you want to stand out go for it!

https://www.karenmillen.com/one-sleeve-slinky-sheer-knit-midaxi-dress/BKK15290.html?color=107

I'm with your DH.

Sad and desperate, that's what that dress says.

I've never seen a transparent dress that looks good no matter who is wearing it.
They either wear next to nothing underneath it so it's "here are my nipples" or they do wear something underneath it and it's "here are my granny pants / thong"

I quite like this Mugler piece but the back view might be a bit much for the PTA…

https://www.mytheresa.com/gb/en/women/mugler-paneled-tulle-and-jersey-gown-black-p00879845

There are many beautiful sheer dresses out there, if that’s what you insist on going with.

Your example is not one of them.

@Isittimeformynapyet that poster was born angry. They hide away for a bit but then return to tell us all how we are doing womanhood wrong.

How many husbands does your friend have?

There is a lot of classist snobbery coming through on this thread.

Exactly.

I don’t really understand ‘why’ the OP wants to wear a transparent dress to a school ball.

So OP why do you want to wear a transparent/see-through dress to a school ball?

Surely you must realise you’re not a celebrity.

Celebs wear things that non celebs wouldn’t.

Would you wear a dress covered in meat like lady gaga?
Or wear a huge lions head like kylie Jenner.

Not even these celebs who wear see through dresses would wear them to an event like you want to.

I’m not sure who you think you are but I’m telling you that you won’t look sexy or celebrity-like, you will just look cringey and will maybe get laughed at.

Your DH is trying to tell you as gently as he can but you’re just not getting it.

It’s an awful dress . Unless you are attending the Golden Globes that’s a no.

Of course they do. And there should be a special place in the deepest smelliest of bins reserved for the disingenuous mysogynists who ridicule women to keep their wives happy, while perving at them behind her back. And any daft fawning women who giggle and encourage male spite against other women should get in there with them.
Still hate the dress though.

Well, yes. We are discussing whether this is suitable to be worn at a ball put on by an expensive private school. What classist snobs* will think of the dress is surely the point. If we were discussing what is suitable to wear to another type of party / event, the advice might well be different.

*I fully accept not all private school parents fall into this category but at the same time, a lot do.

No please don't people will be talking more about your dress afterwards than the actual event. Unless you wear something underneath it. I had a couple of dresses and skirts not as extreme as this showing everything you've got.

But I wore something under it like hot pants and a crop top. Look at the outrageous dresses Amanda Holden wears knowing she will get attention. It's all a bit Mutton dressed as lamb.

Lovely Anita Rani, she was aiming for sexy and managed silly.

Hopefully it was a one off.

Quite - if OP was asking about whether it was suitable for her 46th birthday party, held at home or in a local hotel’s banqueting room, the advice would be - wear what you like. It’s your do, your party, you’re the centre of attention. Go for it (though most of us would still think the dress/dresses like that are generally rank).

But she asking about a school ball which she is attending with her husband who feels that dresses like that are pretty sad.

I think it s a shame that a grown woman thinks showing her pants is empowering.

That's gorgeous

I firmly believe you should dress how you want to dress and not how a man wants you to dress .

However, I agree with others - I think this look is awful and cannot think of any “ real life” situation where it would look good . This woman ( I don’t know who she is ) is clearly at some kind of red carpet event and people do dress for shock or wow factor there . Wearing this out for dinner or to a party , without your hair and make up done professionally ( also in proper light - this has been taken by a professional photographer) would look tacky IMO . It’s a nice dress but what she’s wearing underneath doesn’t look good .

My opinions are age irrelevant too - I would say the same for a 20 year old.

im not saying you can’t wear something daring - where whatever makes you feel good , but I just don’t personally think this is a good look