DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

It’s not an ‘or’. In my opinion lot of men are likely to appreciate the view and laugh at how pathetic and attention seeking the wearer appears. That particularly goes for the sort of man who sends his kids to posh private schools. Upper class men have never let seeing non-U women as inferior stop them having sex with the women in question.

Anita Rani is beautiful.
The dress she has on isn't showing that beauty in my opinion. If she's happy though no one else's opinion matters.
Same for you @DontShow . Wear what you want with happiness!

This thread is hilarious.

@DontShow Wear it or don't. Who cares?

Adding: in my experience these things are often in quite chilly old halls, so don't wax!

Omg, it's not naice enough to be a posh wife, just giving cheap shag? Wow

I do admire the self confidence required to wear something like this and to know you look good in it.

It's really not a ball gown though, and certainly not appropriate for a ball at your child's school.

FWIW, I'd feel that way no matter who was wearing it.

By your opinion, it's desperate. And by a lot of people on here. But to be fair, it's not my sort of person who calls a woman desperate because of what she wears. I won't judge you on this comment, as I wouldn't judge OP on this dress. There is more to a whole person than what is seen in an instant.

Jesus Christ, you cannot wear a sheer dress to a do at your kid's school, how embarrassing for them!

Generally I'm a big believer in women wearing what they want, but I think this is so inappropriate I'm not surprised that it makes the person you're going with uncomfortable.

The fact that you're asking us on here shows that you're doubting your choice & are seeking validation from strangers. If you didn't care about anyone's opinions then you'd buy the dress and wear it regardless. I think you're a bit concerned about people's opinions of you attending as mutton dressed as a lamb.

OMG ESPECIALLY don’t wear that if it’s a parents ball at the uber posh private school 😱

you’ll kill all your parent relationships and networking as people will think you are tacky and have no class. Even if there will be foreign some pupil's’ parents ridiculously dressed you don’t want to be sneered at behind your back. British posh are super judgey.

you need old money glamour to fit in, not red carpet Z list celebrity glamour

Personally I wouldn't wear this and wouldn't have even worn it I'm my 20s. I think my DH would pull a face too. Each to their own but I would feel too exposed.

It's certainly the first time I've ever saw anyone say they actually admire the Bianca Censori naked look 😂 On that basis alone, I don't think there'll be any telling the OP!

As a grown woman, wear what the fuck you want, not what your husband deems ok.

Sorry, but some men like a woman who struts around with not a lot on and think she looks good.

Some men like a woman in a bikini. Some men like a topless woman. A ball at a private school would not be the place to wear a bikini or go topless.

My DH loves seeing me in sexy underwear and stockings and I wear these when we are going out together BUT nobody but HIM gets to know about it!

That dress on the red carpet where the aim is to get as much publicity as possible is fine; anywhere else it is tasteless and tacky.

Yes.

Oh no, that's not appropriate for a ball. There are plenty of lovely dresses out there.

Rani does look beautiful, even if the dress is a bit ‘pants’ (imo).

However, it’s hardly out of place on a contemporary red carpet where standing out, attracting the camera lens and getting the next day’s column inches is the aim of the game.

I doubt she’d wear it to sip fizzy plonk from cater-waiter platters with her kid’s classmate’s parents though 😬

(Emma Corrin pic to underline my point re: dressing for the press at a showbiz event is not really comparable to dressing for any other occasion!)

Actually when I saw that dress I immediately thought of Kanye West's wife wearing that transparent monstrosity dress - although she had no underwear under her see through dress, recently worn in Italy.

Even without vision, however, I think the Anita Rani dress shows no class nor elegance. Bad enough for a show-offy PR laden event but no place at a ball. Sorry OP - I'm with your husband on this. I'm sure there are so many dresses out there you can wear and look beautiful in. 🌹

100% this. Amazing if you've got the confidence to wear this but a school ball is not the setting for such a revealing dress. You could achieve a similar outcome (attention) with a much classier dress.

Is this the one you liked, OP?

If so, I want to be encouraging but it just isn't ... evening-y. More like an expensive beach coverall.

Wear what you damn well like!

So the object of you wearing the dress is to attract male attention? And to put women’s noses out of joint? To show of your figure? Why not just wear a bikini and have done with it?

Really, it’s a school ball and if the criteria of choosing a dress for this is based purely upon how much male approval you (think you) can get, then I feel sorry for both your DH and your DCs. Sounds as though you have unacknowledged low self esteem and are needing external validation.

Most parents will go with the intention of wearing clothes that are appropriate for the occasion and having a great time with friends on their table, knowing they are raising funds for whichever project the school is prioritising this year. And I say that as a mother at a school where there are several A Lister Hollywood actors, TV celebs and Oscar winning film directors. They dress to blend in at school events, whilst also achieving an understated glamour and elegance. I’ve felt quite comfortable seated next to them in last years’ Phase 8 dress, albeit tightly wrapped in Spanx from armpit to toe.

I think you should wear what you want. However .... you say in the OP that you are wanting something "lovely" and I don't think that type of dress hits that mark. It's more attention grabbing and sexy - which is fine if that's what you want, but if you want something "lovely and fashionable" it doesn't fit that description really.

Well yes, but given this is a ball at her child's private school, I'd say it's fairly likely she wouldn't be allowed in wearing a dress like that.

It's simply not appropriate to wear to a school ball. Regardless of it's a posh private school or an inner city secondary school.

The same way you'd not wear a long white dress to a wedding or ripped jeans and rude slogan t shirts to an interview.

Might not be right, but there are certain things that 'aren't done'. Doesn't stop a small minority of people doing it, but don't forget that your children go to that school and will hear about jonny and janes mum who wore x to the school party. In the same vein that any self respecting mother of the bride wouldn't wear a long white dress to her daughter's wedding. You can do it, might make you feel good but the attention you'll get is probably not the sort of thing you are after, plus it also impacts other people, primarily your dc.

Or take inspiration from Lewis Hamilton and your husband could also wear a see through dress/skirt/whateverthisis