DH, Anita Rani and the see thru dress

[DontShow]

Going to a ball soon, and I want to wear something lovely, also fashionable.

I was looking at more transparent dresses, as they seem to be in and I definitely have the figure for this. I am 46.

DH said it's all inappropriate. He's never really been fussy about me looking sexy before, he has always liked me to look classy, I call it Princess of Wales style.

So I said, what about Anita Rani, she is my age and looked amazing. "Let's see" he said, "I have always thought she is beautiful". So he looks at the photo for a while, says nothing about her, but says I should not wear something like that as it would be sad.

So, AIBU, or do you need a divorce like Anita to wear what you want at 46?
She has credited her divorce as the catalyst for wearing this, and I think she looks amazing frankly!

OP, I think you should wear it. You seem to be relishing the idea of the attention you would get, so why not? It’s not to my taste at all, but I’m not the one wearing it. You may get laughed at, your husband might be embarrassed to be seen with you, but you’ll certainly be noticed. That seems to be what you want. Go for it!

Wear it OP. Get your DH to dress up as Kanye. Accessorise with a dog collar and chain. Job done 😂

You've kind of answered your own question on this OP.

Yes, men do like it when women wear fuck all in their line of vision. Yes men like to stare at women wearing fuck all and mentally imagine having sex with them. Your husband will be doing it to various women he sees (whether he admits it out loud or not). Your husband knows if you wear that dress every man in the room will be eyeball fucking you. Your husband does not want other men eyeball fucking HIS wife.

Double standards then?

So you’re in search of male attention?
No wonder your husband isn’t thrilled.

I think you will look ridiculous and to save people the embarrassment you should choose something else. You may look good from a fashionista point of view (if this is what you are aiming for) but people will cringe at the inappropriateness. I say this as someone who spends a lot on clothes and is a bit "out there" myself even at 65. Your kids will never forgive you. People will accuse you of pre-menopausal desperation. Grossly unfair perhaps, but just don't open yourself and your loved ones up to it.

Ah. Are you trying to wind up your husband? Is he not being very affectionate / attentive?

what you are spectacularly missing is that they also look at women who don't wear tacky dresses and think they looks good or hot.

You don't look better or more attractive in a tacky dress. You can think "nice arse" without thinking the woman actually looks good.

I love the dress. I think I would be more comfortable (physically and psychologically) with a romper-style bodysuit or a short, nude slip underneath. I’m not entirely sure that it’s appropriate for a school ball as it is, (because… school. I would absolutely wear it to a NYE do or a different charity ball, but not for a school.) however, if you love it and you have the confidence to rock it, I would absolutely fight in your corner if anyone said anything. Also, fuck anyone who tries to shame you. I would kill to have that kind of body positivity.

Not really, but seriously confused that a pp couldn't see that not 'everyone' would be laughing at someone who was wearing revealing clothing and clearly felt good!

Now the judgy-pants can really come out because I mentioned the male gaze!

Really? She looks desperately unhappy. Walking several feet behind your fully dressed man while nearly naked doesn't seem sexy to me. I worry about Bianca Censori's wellbeing.

I don't like the dress in the OP. In fact I think its bloody awful!

Some sheer dresses are lovely (those that are sheer at midriff and shoulders for example - and only in black, or a dark green/blue), but there aren't many occasions where a white/ivory complete sheer is appropriate 🙈 Maybe at Amnesia or Pacha?! Certainly not a school ball ffs 😂

You literally can wear exactly what you like and you don’t need permission, validation or approval from anyone.

I think it encourages other people to relate to you on a very visual level.

This might suggest that you lack confidence in being able to hold a conversation or have anything interesting to say.

It's all about how you look, rather than who you are - the most superficial way of relating to other people and might end up as a bit of a depressing evening for you if you'd hoped to have any interesting chats with new people.

Including mumsnet^

Well, until you're not allowed into the ball for dressing inappropriately, sure.

Depends on the party 😂

Bianca Censori is not sexy; she's cheap and desperate for attention. And money most likely to live like that.
https://www.boredpanda.com/bianca-censori-wears-see-through-poncho-to-dinner-before-flying-economy-to-japan-with-kanye/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=linkcomment_the-humor-train&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR28LQndVvxMrsc_E3ZwmkQxWs_XvhQY-GFiO0oTLDTX_8k55bvz1b75SjY_aem_ZmFrZWR1bW15MTZieXRlcw

Celebrities wear dressess for attention at media events.
I'm suspect Anita Rani wouldn't wear that to a regular ball.

Wear what you like - I think it’s ok. It’s what makes you happy or feel confident.

Revealing is only sexy if it's subtle though. Otherwise it just becomes a bit silly and exhibitionist. The dress in your OP is hideous, and as others have suggested, only worn to grab attention - celebrities do that!
You'll be hard pushed to find a full sheer dress off the catwalk, because whilst they've been around forever, they're just not popular.

Even if her kid(s) will never live it down?

Sorry that’s just inappropriate for a ball. This is a dress for red carpet or instagram.
by all means have a date with your DH and wear a dress like that, but please don’t wear this to an occasion with other people (formal one at that)

There are many things people could wear that would be a surefire indicator that we do not see eye to eye.

If my partner suddenly dressed like a goth, for example, I would certainly have an opinion on it!