To be angry husband forgot car seat for the 10+ time

[Dodgeballllll]

I’m not really the kind of person to blow things out of proportion because life has dealt my family some tough blows and I feel like I have a balanced perspective generally on life and what to get stressed about.

HOWEVER I feel soooo angry because for what must be at least the 10th time since we had our 3.5 year old my husband has gone to work with one of the car seats in his car so when I came to leave this afternoon to go somewhere I couldn’t actually go because the car seat wasn’t in the car. It was transferred into his car last night because on a weds eve we meet at our son’s activity and he takes one car seat home with him with our other child in it. It sounds complicated but I’m so mad I can’t explain this properly!

AIBU to be enraged that he’s forgotten to transfer it back to my car this morning? I don’t understand how it’s possible to forget the same thing that many times!

Please do not buy a high back booster as some have suggested. At 3.5 they should still be rear facing. Depending on their weight get either a 25kg or 36kg seat and keep them rear facing as long as possible.

If he’s heavy enough (15kg), the Trunki booster seats are useful for running around town. Turns into a rucksack so very useful for holidays as well as in a second car at home.

It’s annoying but you share the car seat so it’s both of your responsibilities to ensure it’s transferred, you can’t just blame him. Definitely just get a car seat for both cars.

No, it’s a personal choice made by the parent. You can continue rear facing but the OP doesn’t have to.

Either bring the car seat in every evening or get another car seat.

I cannot comprehend having gone 3.5 years with presumably only one car seat for two cars the whole time?

I have a dreadful memory so I can empathise with your husband’s foregetfulness, and it’s a big reason why we had 2 car seats for each kid right from the off!

I tried to keep him rear facing as long as possible but he’s got really long legs and his knees were nearly touching his chin

Two cars ? Two car seats or if you were me 4. As one in each grandparents car😂

Well you’re not wrong to have been a bit annoyed but this is so easily done. The seat is in the back, you get in the front and pay zero attention to the back seat. People have actually managed to forget about live children in the back seat in similar circumstances.
It is also partly up to you to remember…
It is also an easy fix - get another car seat.

I think you need to buy another car seat

He’s selfish and should have remembered. It didn’t impact him so he didn’t bother to deal with it. However, one click on Amazon and tomorrow you’ll have a second car seat. It’s just not worth the hassle any more. Also good for emergencies etc. Always had car seats in each car here.

Lol. At one time I had 6 seats for 2 children... (2 cars and I got seats for my childminder also to make life simpler and safer). Even now my children are 10, 9, 6 and we still have boosters in both cars.

So I voted YABU because this problem can be easily solved if you can afford a second seat.

@Goinggreymammy so I am in good company 😂

Op definitely 2 cars seats. I'm amazed you've lasted as long with just one seat.

We only had one baby seat, until DH went to work one day with it.
I didn't know until I went to do the school run with my oldest, having missed the school bus.
We went for a stage 0 /1

At the age of your LO is think I'd be tempted to by an Advansifix or some other stage 123 type seat.

My dad bought his own child car seats as soon as he had grandchildren as swapping car seats it's such an inevitable faff.

I'm here to take your side OP. While it's obvious to suggest an extra car seat, that's not the way your household currently works.

Your DH has de-facto ownership of returning the car seat to the right car, and he should be competent enough to do that consistently. But he's only human and he's bound to miss it sometimes.

My DH has taken both sets of car/house keys multiple times over the years leaving me locked into the house with no transport. Extremely frustrating. He had to leave work a couple of times to bring them back when I needed to be somewhere. We now make sure we have easily accessible spare keys. But of course it hasn't happened again since then 🙄

Op an alternative way of operating is to have one family car, and the other adult car.
So the child only ever in the family car. Either of you going with the child you take the family car.

Not unreasonable to be annoyed - just get another seat for the second car. Will make everyone’s life much easier!!

Ignore this comment , rear facing at this age is ridiculous the poor kids look so uncomfortable (cue loads of people saying noooo my kids love it - but they don't they're just kids who don't know any better) but as everyone has said - get another car seat. I'm surprised you've lasted this long without a car seat for each car!

I bought a very expensive car seat for my car when my first grandchild was born - she’s now 9. Since then four more have been born, the youngest is now 2 1/2 and uses it still on the odd occasions it’s needed. I also bought another one suitable for when the eldest grandchild ‘gave up’ the first seat for her younger brother, as I’ve looked after the two of them since they were babies, doing school and pre-school runs, as my younger daughter and her husband both work. I now have 3 car seats for my car, so there’s no need for swapping seats between cars as it’s such a faffing about otherwise.

Very concerning at the amount of people recommending high back boosters for a 3 year old! Very unsafe, they should be rearfacing in a harnessed seat still, the research is easy to find.

Great advice. A hbb is really not good enough for 3/4 year old.

Stop it. Such bad advice. There is nothing wrong with forward facing a near 4 year old!

It's not wrong to forward face, it's just less safe than rear facing. And a harness is safer than a seat belt. And so on.

Why on earth don't you just both have a car seat 😂🤷🏼‍♀️. Surely that would solve this?