is this a bit rude? Or just me?

[iamsoshocked]

Just got home from work, and DD (19 home from Uni) and 2 friends are at the kitchen table. One friend is veggie, the other has allergy to egg.

I came in, said hello, nice to see you again etc, to which they just replied "Hi". Then I asked if anyone was staying for tea? And they both literally just said "no".
Not "no thank you", or anything, just "no".
I said, "ok, well you're both very welcome to stay in you'd like to." Which was met with silence.

So I walked off.

Rude? Or have I just had a bad day at work?

Very rude.

errrm - I'm not sure why I mentioned the allergies either tbh! I suppose in my mind I was thinking "what can I make for tea avoiding eggs and meat". Not relevant of course as the answer was "no."

And this is why so many rude shits around, people excuse big grown 19yo with laughable reasons like this. They were so rude.

My 8yo had a rude friend over and he even pulled him up when he was rude. A 19yo being so rude, unacceptable.

I'd be knocking that on the head. Rude people don't get to stay.

Of course they were rude. Awful behaviour. It’s a shame so many people don’t bother to teach their kids manners. I wouldn’t offer again.

i thought you mentioned the dietary requirements because it shows you couldn’t just whip out a spag Bol or omelette and would have to think more about what you could offer them. The ungrateful rude brats.

Ignorant brats! I'd be having a word with you dd and in future wouldn't tolerate such a lack of manners and would tell them to leave. They need consequences or will never learn. Too old to be excused for being 'young and clueless/shy'.

Yes, rude. A friend of my DS has never said please or thank you. They have a difficult background so I haven't pulled them up on it but really have to bite my tongue! Xx

They were rude.

However, I might get flamed for this but … I think this is how many of ‘Gen Z’ are. (The younger end. The teens still). Very blunt and disinterested with anyone older than them and anything that doesn’t involve phones, TikTok etc.

I see it in shops all the time. Teens and students not using their manners, not using eye contact with people serving them. Social media has ruined social interactions.

How rude!

I don't think that poster needs mansplaining educating by you

Ok.
Please can someone help me out here? I'll admit I'm autistic and I just wouldn't consider it rude to answer that question with a simple 'no'. I would consider it rude to just turn up to someone's house and expect to eat there without having been invited well in advance, so I wouldn't even be expecting to be asked.
I struggle with things like this where everyone is saying it's rude as I don't see it as an invitation, more like a statement.
I suspect people must think I'm extremely rude and insulting a lot of the time now...

Wouldn't you think a thank you was warranted?

No.
I would literally take the question as 'are you doing xyz?' and would answer 'no' because that's the answer. If they said 'do you want to...' or 'would you like to...' I would definitely say either 'yes please' or 'no thank you' as I understand that as an invitation to do something.

I would have responded with, 'let's try that again.....'

This is why some are against men on here, most of them are decent but you get one bad penny and it ruins it for the rest

In that senario I would say no but thank you, as in no but thank you for asking

Thank you for replying. I shall try that next time I think I might be in a similar situation. That's really helpful

This is kind of what I was thinking too - if someone said "are you staying for dinner?" I might have interpreted it as "it's the family's dinner time, and you're outstaying your welcome as you know you haven't been invited for dinner" and so I would probably have just said "no" to reassure them that I wasn't expecting to be fed.

I also wouldn't have said "no thank you" unless I was 100% sure they were actually offering to feed me, as I'd worry it would look really presumptuous and rude to assume they were offering me dinner if they were actually trying to point out that I'm outstaying my welcome.

@LonginesPrime
That's exactly it. I would be horrified they thought I would impose like that.

I see the point that what I said was ambiguous.
I guess on here you can't hear the tone of my voice or my expression (not that that helps autistic people I realise - I have an ASD dc, so I get that.)
But these two friends, one I know well, the other not so well, I would have expected to pick up on the tone and expression that it was a question. I feed the frequent friend often!
@ScarlettSunset Don't worry. I think if people know you are autistic, then they understand you are not being rude, and realise that what they said warranted that answer!

Anyway, they've just left, so i need to chat with DD.

Your daughter's friends were rude. It is matter of respect on how you talk to someone older, doesn't matter whether it was an enquiry or invitation.