To feel like life is more hassle than it's worth

[OptimismvsRealism]

Up until now I suppose there have been adventures and new things to try to distract from the fundamental fact that being alive is a great big chore. Endless hoovering and bills.

Don't get me wrong, I'm here now and I'll just see where things go but if you asked me if I'd like to do it all again that would be a big fat non merci from me.

True, but I used to be an artist, had arty friends, loved going to galleries, making art, I exhibited abroad etc. I'm bored with it now. I hope my love for it comes back. I never ever thought this would happen.
I'm bored with loads and loads of things. I don't even like reading much anymore and I used to live for it.

I've tried volunteering which i liked for a bit.

I had a baby just over 2 years ago and I'm dreading him growing up and not needing me because I'll be even more bored.

For me, my family, especially my DC give me joy, meaning and purpose (and anxiety over their well-being lol) but I think it’s very personal. One thing that used to get me down is how bad people seem to win so much! The whole “nice guys (and girls) finish last” thing. But as I get older I realise that’s irrelevant. I’m here right now and that’s that. And my rebellion against the “meh” and the angry is to love and to have fun.
Give someone a compliment, feed the birds, go down the slide, smile even when people don’t smile back, look after the body you have, and see what it can do, run a marathon, give blood, go camping, look after a rescue animal, plant a garden and see what insects love it, pick a trail and walk it, read a great book, listen to something that makes you cackle with laughter, volunteer, blow bubbles, clean something really well, call a friend, give someone a hug, sing in a choir, there are so many things that are good and feel good.
Good luck op and anyone else who’s feeling rubbish 💐

@OhMaria2 I feel similar to this. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

I think this feeling is natural to some extent when you reach middle age. When you are young everything is exciting and the future is full of possibilities and unknowns.

By the time you reach middle age, the endless possibilities that lay before you are significantly reduced, and you can see, to a large extent, how your future will look. Many of the big decisions have been made - your career path, who you're going to marry, where you're going to live etc etc. In this sense, much of the hopefulness and excitement about the future is diminished.

Of course you can still change your future, but you never get back all the possibility that you had as a young person.

And if you have very young children, you literally never stop hoovering, and when you do it looks like you never started in the first place.
You literally get to admire the view for all of 5 minutes before your efforts are long forgotten. Is there joy in that?

It's the disposable income part that's the kicker for many. I think that's why more and more young people are starting to feel the same

A pp resonated with me regarding teenagers, so full of hopes and dreams starting to see the reality of life.

It's actually one of the reasons we decided to home educate our kids. We wanted them to enjoy as much of a carefree childhood as we could possibly give them and I believe we succeeded. No forced learning, play, play and more play. Only socialising when they chose to and with whom they wanted to be with.

Now they're nearly adult and doing A levels. Looking at uni, learning to drive and the starting to see the reality of adult life.

I couldn't be more bloody glad they didn't endure the rigidity of school for years before embarking on adulthood.

43. I wonder sometimes if it wasn't the baby crazies or the clock suddenly ticking at 38, but really bad En Nui

I had loads more friends and a great social life when my husband and I drank more. I do miss it

I think I'm going to go all in on steam trains, they do make me happy 😊

Bloody hell, that’s depressing and not my experience at all. @OptimismvsRealism do you want to be happy?

I completely agree with you OP. I think the main reason people have children is it's just a really successful way to kill about 20 years. Life is 80% doing boring shit you don't wanna do, closer to 100% if you're an introvert like me. I absolutely would never have signed up for this.

Op I completely agree with you. I often feel like I must have done something awful in a past life for things to be so shit. Going to sleep now but will reply properly in the morning.

Same. I don't know how you can think life's shit and still have kids but so many do. I suppose that's what keeps the human race going thinking "is this all there is, better have kids it might make things slightly more entertaining" then if one kid doesn't do it two or three might. Before you know it there's 8 billion of us just killing time on this boring as fuck planet.

This. Seems like most posters on this thread are genuinely depressed and in need of adventure. You’ve died long before your life is over! Life is not supposed to be so tedious…it is what you make it! Find your passion. Change things up. Get out of your house and your head.
Fear (and societal expectations) keeps us in a boring little box all our lives- societal rules keeps us all doing the same shit as each other. Yawn. Time to get yourself out of it take some risks! Follow what is fun for you.

It will with that attitude. Stop looking for confirmation that life is shit and start seeing the good. You had a bad experience being bullied but no need to let that dictate the rest of your life. That won’t happen every time you do something new! It’s your outlook that the problem. Start Looking for the good and you will see that everywhere instead of the bad stuff.

Agreed. Genuine advice to all: stop watching the news! The news and the media are purposefully negative with “if it bleeds it leads “ journalism (happy stories don’t sell). I felt so much lighter once I made this decision- the doom & gloom projection from the news can ruin your day and your whole outlook- it’s incredibly influential, it’s incredibly depressing!!

I feel the same. Even my eight year old niece has started asking what the point of life is. Maybe we are naturally morose people. I wouldn't say I'm depressed. I just would t be that bothered if my life ended tomorrow.

I'm with you OP. I'm tired of life and find myself thinking more and more about the big sleep. One day I'll be released from all this shit.

No answers I’m afraid OP.
A compliment instead - you write really well. You’re funny and engaging with a distinct voice and an endearing take on things. There’s a book inside you somewhere. 🙂

This.

What I find really difficult and frustrating is that I had many years of really difficult tough times in my life - in some ways I didn't feel "free" to live my life relatively happily until into my 30s. (I never knew what it's like to be young and happy.) I know what it's like to have seemingly endless fear and emotional pain, and to fight to survive suicidal urges, and to look to the little things, to find peace and joy in sunsets or wild flowers, to treasure every laugh and amusing little thought, every pleasant shared moment. Yet ... hardly anyone else seems to get this. Life is made boring and crap because most people seem unable to make the best of the little moments, and become increasingly lifeless and disconnected.

It's so frustrating, because when I was in the shit when younger people expected me to be able to pull myself out of it, to just think differently and it would all be ok - yet now people seem to lack the most basic ability or desire to do that themselves, even when living in far better situations/without the concrete stresors and trauma I was living with back then. 2020 was a real eye-opener. Before then I'd always been given the impression that everyone else had their shit together in a way I didn't, but it turned out the reason they were ok was because life was relatively plain sailing for them. 2020 and it all came crumbling away.

I actually think an awful lot of people are having some kind of low level trauma response to the events of 2020. As if the ... life spark ... has gone from so many.

I’m with you garlic twist….

Before any one suggests….i am not depressed.

I am early 50’s and ready to go, so much so I have arranged my funeral, had discussions with family.
I don’t think I would take my own life, but DNR is signed and I won’t be fighting any condition I may be diagnosed with.

Im 45 andI felt like this a few years ago and the best thing I did was start HRT and totally give up watching the news and main stream media. Every day I write a bullet point journal. 5 things that made me smile, 5 things that I thought were beautiful and 5 things I was grateful for. Occasionally I might master note of a place I want to visit or stick in some pictures or screen shots of tubs that have caught my attention. Poems, art etc. is like a scrap book I suppose.

I've never been happier ( even if I do have a panic at the checkout when I see what £60 doesn't buy these days!)

Oh and I think if all else magic mushrooms deffo help 🥰. They are the best gift ever to somebody that is struggling with ennui or sliding into depression