WIBU to cancel holiday?

[Booklover20]

Me and my partner were invited to a ‘friends’ wedding abroad last year.
The invite seemed like a second thought as the bride was struggling for guests and also bridesmaids. I used to work with the bride 4 years ago and kept in contact and meet up for a coffee every now and then, we aren’t close.
i accepted the invite and agreed to being a bridesmaid but it’s caused me nothing but stress, the MOH is horrid and I have had nasty messages from both MOH and MOB,
they are dictating things even down to the colour of my toe nails.
the holiday has cost me and my partner £2.6K which is a lot of money as we’re currently saving for a house.
the hens do was this weekend which I cancelled on and was laid to send £50 for a contribution to food even though I wasn’t going (I still paid for my place etc which I didn’t mind doing) I had to cancel as the stress and awful messages caused me to end up in hospital with the stress of everything giving me blood clots and severe migraines.
i am considering cancelling the holiday as the messages I have received this morning about nail colour have tipped me over the edge, I know I will lose a friendship over this although I don’t really care and wouldn’t miss this friendship either.
i can get £2.2k back and put it in my house deposit pot.
so AIBU to cancel my holiday and not be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding.
ps the wedding is in September

Just for more context, I only know the bride and one other bridesmaid as I worked with her briefly but haven't seen or spoken to her in years.
The bride was my only mutual friend with the MOH, I have never met her before which is what makes this behaviour even more bizarre

You absolutely don’t need to respond to the MOH but if you did reply I’d just bluntly put “maybe see the last weeks worth of messages you’ve sent me and see if you can spot a problem 👍🏻” and block!

I bet you feel so relieved.
If the bride messages you I would happily explain about the abusive texts and offer to send screenshots. I'd not bother to respond to MOH at all, you don't owe her an explanation. She's not your friend, if she answers to anyone it can be the bride.
If the bride doesn't message it's no great loss. I'd probably prefer that to be honest.

Me too. In secretly hoping I don't get a response and it's just left at this now! X

Id tell the bride the truth! That the moh has been sending you abusive messages!

Well done!

Why do people go so crazy about weddings?

You did the right thing op

2.6k for someone else's wedding? F#ck that! Honestly don't know why people do these things. Ridiculous.

@Booklover20

Have t you lost more than just the £200 holiday deposit?

The food money? The hen do money?

Did you have to buy a bridesmaid's dress etc?

Technically all in I have lost £340
£200 deposit
£130 for the hen do
And the dress was £10
It's money i do not mind losing, yes Ideally I would love this money back but it's money I'm willing to part with so I don't have to go.

£2.6k? That's more than I spent on my own wedding 6 years ago 🤣

I would bet that between now and September others will also pull out. What outrageous carry on from them , totally unreasonable

They sound absolute nutters!

Well done you for leaving them all to implode without you

It's so bad it's making you feel this stressed so I agree you should pull out. However I think that matching toenails isn't an unreasonable request at all

It's definitely not unreasonable, it was just the straw that broke the camels back.
There have been so many ridiculous requests that I just cannot even entertain it anymore

Maybe you now know why she didn’t have many guests!

Well done OP!!

These ridiculous bridezillas milking their tiny window of entitlement is just laughable!!

I feel relieved for you OP! Well done for putting yourself first

Really?! Who looks at the bridesmaids toe nails 😆

@HelloCheekyCat little details can add up! Say you are all wearing open toed shoes and say a blush pink dress, somebody with blue toenails would stand out. If they were all blush pink it would tie in nicely together

This is the third thread I've seen today about weddings and ridiculous requests. I disagree with the PP and think asking some to wear a certain colour of toe polish is just ridiculous 🙄

Good on you , you've made the right decision and you must feel relieved. No wedding or event is worth getting into stress and poorly over. It's no wonder she doesn't have many friends or guests to invite.

They will try and give you grief now because these things include shared costs and now MOH will have to pay more. Which is her fault anyway.

I can't believe they expected money for food for the hen do when you didn't go! That's terrible before you take into account that you didn't co because you were in hospital!!! Bet she was messaging to tell you you owe money for activities she's booked already. Hope you feel better soon!

The issue is that nobody, except the bride, is going to notice or remember the bridesmaids' toe nail polish. It's absolutely the kind of detail that brides obsess over but no-one else cares.

Think of it as a £340 lesson.

you paid £340 to learn never put up with shit like that ever again!