WIBU to cancel holiday?

[Booklover20]

Me and my partner were invited to a ‘friends’ wedding abroad last year.
The invite seemed like a second thought as the bride was struggling for guests and also bridesmaids. I used to work with the bride 4 years ago and kept in contact and meet up for a coffee every now and then, we aren’t close.
i accepted the invite and agreed to being a bridesmaid but it’s caused me nothing but stress, the MOH is horrid and I have had nasty messages from both MOH and MOB,
they are dictating things even down to the colour of my toe nails.
the holiday has cost me and my partner £2.6K which is a lot of money as we’re currently saving for a house.
the hens do was this weekend which I cancelled on and was laid to send £50 for a contribution to food even though I wasn’t going (I still paid for my place etc which I didn’t mind doing) I had to cancel as the stress and awful messages caused me to end up in hospital with the stress of everything giving me blood clots and severe migraines.
i am considering cancelling the holiday as the messages I have received this morning about nail colour have tipped me over the edge, I know I will lose a friendship over this although I don’t really care and wouldn’t miss this friendship either.
i can get £2.2k back and put it in my house deposit pot.
so AIBU to cancel my holiday and not be a bridesmaid in a friends wedding.
ps the wedding is in September

I did this as soon as I'd cancelled the holiday!

Be proud of yourself @Booklover20 well done!!

Well done OP, enjoy the relief.

Well done - I hope you feel amazing now!

You've absolutely made the right decision - there's no way this wouldn't have gotten 100 times more stressful as September approached!

I think it's also become quite clear on why the bride maybe doesn't have many friends / guests attending...

I’m so pleased to hear this!

She found me on Instagram and has now tried to message me. I am going to ignore it and just get on with me day. The bride hasn't made any attempts to contact me either

Wow that is outrageous! What did she try and say to you on insta?

I don’t understand, what’s the lie? OP did end up in hospital over this and will not be in a position to travel in September if it’s causing her this much stress and migraines now, obviously she wouldn’t be able to travel for it in 2 months time?

She messaged saying was there a reason I have blocked her number and on Facebook because she didn't think there was a problem between us

There's no lie.
I have been in hospital and am due to go again for scans etc as I react badly to stress and have gotten myself into a mess medically now with blood clots etc.
I don't think I'd be in a position to fly at all and neither do I want to x

Well done OP - you've made the right decision.

A friend of mine was a bridesmaid in a wedding that sounds very similar - although it was for a best friend so pulling out wasn't an option. Hated most of it, hated the run in and spent thousands.

Enjoy the extra money for your house saving!

There was also mention of me removing myself from group chats. Am I right in thinking I don't owe anyone an exolaination and can decide for myself what chats I participate in?
I was under the impression as an adult I can choose 😂

Edit: not relevant following OP's clarification.

its up to you - I do think it’s childish to just block people; it’s the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going “la la la I am not listening” when in reality you would have been better off explaining you have become unwell due to all the stress and micromanaging (toenail polish ffs).

Block them on Instagram and Facebook too!

sorry yes you should def leave the chats if you’re not coming to the wedding

@Quittingwifework
I explained this to them and then removed myself.
I only blocked the MOH as I have had a barrage of abusive messages over the last week from her.
I have blocked no one else, I explained it was due to illness x

I presume OP means she has left the chats, and MOH etc have brought this up (asking why or giving out about it).

OP is saying it’s surely her choice to not participate I think.

I don’t agree. It’s far less stressful just blocking people rather than trying to explain or justify yourself.

@loropianalover
Thank you!
Yes this is what I was trying to say.
I have left all the chats as I don't need to be in them anymore x

Well done! 💯
If the bride comes back to you with a shitty comment screenshot the abusive messages from the moh and send them to her and say this is why I'm not coming, I wanted to spare your feelings but the abuse & stress from the moh is the reason I'm ill.

Wow you definitely did the right thing here op. Hope you start to feel better soon

This is a great idea!

Yes ok that makes sense. MOH sounds unhinged!

She did explain herself to the person whose wedding it was. that’s the only person who needed notification.

There is absolutely no reason for these other people to be in contact or even be able to contact with op as she is no longer part of the wedding in any capacity and without the wedding they don’t know each other so contact is irrelevant.

hope you recover quickly @Booklover20