Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

I just think they’re running diabolically late … and thank my stars it isn’t me.

What if they don't have time to do it at home in the bathroom? Who cares if they're doing it on a train?

I know. Can you answer my question?

This is the crux though. Women's issues are contentious. Breast feeding and toilets. Necessities . Babies need feeding, mensuration needs toilets. They remain female only issues.
Grooming male or female is part of what ever society deems appropriate at a given time.

Attention seeking?

Deary me😂

They’re literally just going about their days. Putting makeup on on the train/tube is probably to save more time in bed.

This. In an old job, they moved me to an office in the middle of a city centre for a couple of months, with horrendous parking options so I got the train. Added much more time to my commute and I wasn't willing to give up my sleep, so I'd find a little one seat spot, put my headphones in, do my make up then get my book out and mind my own business.

Mmmm, tough one

Ugh, someone putting on their mascara while I was eating would make me ill. 🤢

Absolutely nothing wrong with wearing make-up. We can’t see our own faces (unless in the mirror) but everyone else can. So let’s make that at the very least palatable ;-)

If someone was just staring at themselves in a compact mirror in the middle of the lunch room I would also think that’s a bit vain tbh. Is there any reason why you can’t use the bathroom like everybody else?

There is another thread on here about eating on the train. For my generation, putting on your makeup in public is along the same lines: unacceptable behaviour, akin to airing your dirty laundry in public!

Are you wildly and severely allergic to mascara? Suffering from a phobia related only to eyelashes?!

What does one have to do with the other? How does Nora’s mascara affect Joan’s butties?

Where has OP said she is 'staring' into a mirror? Looking and staring aren't the same thing.

The antipathy towards people looking in mirrors from some on this thread is perplexing. Whether someone wears makeup or not, it's not vain to believe that being well presented is part of having self-respect. Mirrors help with that. Unless someone's chanting 'who is the fairest of them all?' at the same time, I don't see the issue. insert shrug emoji here

Why though?

So I'm in the office today and after this thread thought ill make a bit of effort to notice stuff, and have so far witnessed, all at a desk or the kitchen:

Someone using Sinex spray

Eye drops (same person)

Highlighter being applied (on the jawline?? Must try this)

Nose blown x 3 same person as nose/eyes. Must have hay-fever poor guy

Hair brushed and put in a messy bun

Nail filed (my nail file borrowed)

Obviously all normal goings on that ive never really noticed as no one else is arsed and every day conversations happening while this is going on. Nose spray guy did a brew round straight after, don't think he washed his hands. he makes a decent tea tbf.

Wondering how some on this thread would cope in here 😬

I think it’s been answered already many times but basically because grooming yourself is a private thing and there has to be a line somewhere so the line was just don’t do it at all.

Its not difficult to manage. I also already said I don’t see the point. If someone is putting that much effort to look good in public, they obviously care what others think. Watching someone put on concealer and mascara is a bit like looking behind the curtain. So what’s the point?

@Megifer The desk seems more like a private space to me. No one should be paying that much attention to what others are doing at their desks.

No more private than a canteen. Big open plan office with about 30 desks in this section and a large open plan kitchen.

I'm on a webinar that's really boring so my eyes are wandering about 👀

Can't believe how many people are offended by a bit of makeup in a break room. Can't say I'd give it much headspace if I saw someone touching their face up wherever. It's not like you had your entire makeup drawer sprawled out on a restaurant table. So much catatrophising! I think lots of people could do with a bit of therapy to figure out why they're so triggered 🤣

Why do we have any manners at all? A lot of it is quite arbitrary. But every society on earth has it's codes of acceptable behaviour, it's part of human nature.

And the OP's argument of 'she can just look away' doesn't fully wash. You could say the same about someone eating with their mouth full, or scratching their groin, or wandering around naked. Clearly these are different levels of social-code-breaking behaviour, but you could still ask 'why?'. Why is nakedness unacceptable in a public workplace? There's no universal argument against it, but there is a very strong cultural/social agreement that it is just not done.

Applies make up in public... Also uses loads of smilies 😁

Maybe I should slink off?

But quite, I don't apply make up in my own bathroom because the heat and humidity is bad for it, I don't like applying makeup in public toilets because of germs. If applying lipstick or lip balm is okay in public, what the hell is wrong with mascara or concealer? I really don't get the issue. (I also carry baby wipes with me.)

Calling it personal grooming is daft, your face is one of the most public parts of your body!

Feeling that your appearance is so desperately important that not only do you need to refresh it to the point of applying more makeup during the work day, but you do it in a communal space at your workplace in front of your colleagues. If you don’t see this as vain then I would counter that you are also probably vain. Which is fine, but there’s no need to get in a flap when people take the piss about it.

Better to be vain than a nasty person like yourself tbh

What’s the point of the makeup?