Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

I REALLY don't think the term "internalised misogyny" means what you think it means. It's mainly used for women who put men (and their attractiveness to them) before other women at all times, subjugate themselves, put other women down in order to get in with men, rush around prioritising the man at all times etc.

I wear makeup but come on, putting it on (designed to make you more conventionally attractive to the opposite sex) is really NOT in any way a "feminist" act, ffs, if you understand anything about feminism. Breastfeeding is a different thing entirely.

Well done for introducing an elephants butt randomly into a conversation about make-up 😂

@Calliopespa I’ve never really noticed. However, I think it’s the height of rudeness to comment on someone’s appearance in anything other than a complimentary way and I have no idea why anyone would be interested enough in my grooming/make up/ clothing to make any mention of it since it doesn’t affect them in any way at all. I imagine that the OP feels very much the same.

I totally disagree.

In the past it would have been hideously inappropriate for women to "groom" in public. Any female grooming had to be very hidden, not talked about or acknowledged, and done in private. This was to satisfy the male gaze.

Putting on makeup IN PUBLIC goes completely against this old fashioned thinking. It subverts the idea that women must look natural, which all men say they prefer, and keep any attempts to change the appearance with makeup a secret. I actually think it's pretty subversive to put makeup on in public.

Yes, it does, that's why it's safer to do it in private. It's part of grooming (usually done in private),;and brings up issues of beauty (part of the Darwinian battle to get the best partner), who has it, who doesn't, who has more, who has less; plus it touches on concepts of virtue and non-virtue of women. ( virgin/whore syndrome); also vanity is a sin And there is also the concept of intellect (generally, better educated women don't wear make-up, lesser educated ones do). So, does a woman who wears make-up wear it because she thinks she's prettier than other women or does she wear it because she thinks she's not as pretty as other women? All these concepts have been thrown at me at my during my life

OP, you're doing something she finds a bit annoying, she is doing something you find a bit annoying. Sounds pretty balanced out to me.

I don't see how me putting on a bit of concealer or mascara is so offensive

how many layers of makeup do you need?

adding new makeup on top of makeup that's been on your face for hours is a bit, I can't think of the word, not as strong as gross but bordering on it.

As the day goes on our natural oils on our face start to come through. Which can fade and move the makeup. Obviously though good primers and setting sprays can reduce this, but it still happens.

If the OP wants to touch up, that’s completely fine. And not borderline gross at all.

Maybe go visit a makeup artist at your local counter to maybe become educated on it.

This

Yawn. Why do people always make this assumption?

I had dreadful acne as a teen and was advised by a hospital dermatologist that wearing foundation was fine provided I was scrupulous about cleansing at the end of the day.

Inevitably some people will get spots because they're not removing makeup properly, but you use the term acne, and when someone has true acne it's often way more complicated than clogged pores, and makeup/absence of makeup has no bearing on it.

Never join an amateur theatre group, that's all I can say. 😄

In fact, I'd give the same advice to multiple people on this thread. In a shared dressing room you end up seeing a damn sight more than men in makeup.

(And yes I do realise that observation isn't really relevant to the thread, but I added it as it's amusing me to think of the faces on some pps if they'd seen some of the stuff I've seen. 😄)

It was also hideously inappropriate for a man to groom in public back in the day. And nowadays if a man started putting on beard oil next to me while eating, as a pp suggested, it'd be pretty weird. I really don't see this as a feminist issue at all.

That’s contextual though.

It’s not that people haven’t seen a made-up face, or an unmade-up face, or even naked bodies.

It kind of is. Putting make-up on in the canteen while people are eating?? Weird and off putting.

I can genuinely say that I’ve never needed to look in a mirror at work, other than a quick glance when I’m washing my hands.

If make up is coming off half way through the day, use fixing spray.

Ok, perhaps I’m basing that assumption on my experience- I’ve worked for 23 years in 8 places and have never seen anybody applying make up during the work day in a communal area.

It’s not my dictionary definition, it’s the Oxford English Dictionary definition

Exactly. And it's why I think this isn't an issue about makeup really, it's "how to behave around other people and be aware you're in a shared space" (and no, I don't think mocking is appropriate either if the other person is actually doing that). And yeah, there are definite generational bugbears here, but come on, speaking as a Gen X, we're one of the most liberal generations ever, we're not exactly from Victorian times. But I don't think it's unusual for people in general to find the current lack of awareness that an individual's behaviour may affect others when in public places and the attitude "I want to do it so I can and everyone else just needs to look away" really rude and selfish.

No I think it’s very unusual. I’ve seen people do it on the early morning trains but assumed that was a major timetabling malfunction and they had to resort to that to get their train on time.

I have seen women doing it in the ladies loo.

The canteen is highly irregular in my experience, so much so I’ve never seen it, ever. But then I have a very conservative vocation; perhaps fashion industry or similar would be different.

Hmm, I've seen women check or touch up their makeup quite a number of times at their desks or in eating places, in the various places I've worked during my 30+-year working life (not places like Boots, a beauty salon or a modelling agency, just to be clear 😄) I think it would be difficult to draw a firm conclusion on whether it's a common practice or not, but I can't remember anyone ever expressing an objection, or indeed any opinion at all, on it. I've done it myself on occasion and no one's ever fainted or crumbled into a pile of ashes.

I wish you did not feel the need to wear make-up

@LlynTegid Why?

They wouldn’t. They’d just ignore it kind of like if you were … well, picking your nose.

put it on in a bathroom , not in a public place , tbh I see folk doing it on the train and think they are just attention seeking

Thanks for the laugh whilst reading this batshit thread!
I particularly enjoyed the "Are you a nun?" And the "Are you worried about the Candyman?" comments 😂

Whether we agree or disagree with the sentiment, the general social norm is that grooming should be done privately. It isn't very nice of her to mimic you though.