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Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

1000 replies

Spottttty · 12/06/2024 06:56

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 18:36

Desertislandparadise · 12/06/2024 18:34

Getting out a mirror and putting on lipstick, mascara and concealer is quite a drawn out affair. You say why shouldn't people do their makeup in the break room. So then why not do your exercise routine? Why not put on deodorant? Why not brush your teeth? I honestly don't see these things as particularly different. They are all things that are good things to do, but generally people keep them out of the public eye.

Jesus. Talk about whataboutary.

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:38

Desertislandparadise · 12/06/2024 18:34

Getting out a mirror and putting on lipstick, mascara and concealer is quite a drawn out affair. You say why shouldn't people do their makeup in the break room. So then why not do your exercise routine? Why not put on deodorant? Why not brush your teeth? I honestly don't see these things as particularly different. They are all things that are good things to do, but generally people keep them out of the public eye.

I agree with you. However I think the thing that is different about make-up is that, rather than teeth brushing which everyone does, it is something that tends to be specific to women. Posters therefore have their “ feminist/ misogyny “ alarm triggered and respond on emotion rather than logic. Grooming is grooming.

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:38

Toastandbutterand · 12/06/2024 18:28

Does he have a jar or something homely, or do you just let him roam free?

I mean, roaming free at home is probably ok, but it could be considered a social infringement of others liberties in public...

He's a house turd so he free roams, he's not allowed on the beds but i can tell he's been snoozing on them sometimes 🙄

Rosscameasdoody · 12/06/2024 18:39

Toastandbutterand · 12/06/2024 18:28

Does he have a jar or something homely, or do you just let him roam free?

I mean, roaming free at home is probably ok, but it could be considered a social infringement of others liberties in public...

I’m imagining Keith to look something like Mr Hanky, who left little brown stains wherever he hopped to, so possibly roaming free would be a problem…..

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:46

I think the difference is deodorant = coughing asthmatic colleagues and toothbrushing = flecks of saliva and toothpaste splattering about on people?

Neither of which is a risk with applying mascara in public.

Desertislandparadise · 12/06/2024 18:46

Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 18:36

Jesus. Talk about whataboutary.

Ok, so can you clarify how they are very different? They're things I do on the morning, in the bathroom, to get ready for the day. How is makeup radically different than deoderant or toothbrushing?

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:46

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:46

I think the difference is deodorant = coughing asthmatic colleagues and toothbrushing = flecks of saliva and toothpaste splattering about on people?

Neither of which is a risk with applying mascara in public.

What about roll on deodorant?

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:50

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:46

What about roll on deodorant?

I personally wouldn't mind that, like I said earlier I'd assume someone was scratching their armpit if I saw a hand go up in that direction.

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:52

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:50

I personally wouldn't mind that, like I said earlier I'd assume someone was scratching their armpit if I saw a hand go up in that direction.

Hmmm…

Themaghag · 12/06/2024 18:55

Like you OP, I use make up every day and have done so since 1967 when I left school. I’ve often been told that I’m vain and on such occasions, I always heartily agree. I am vain and I like to look as good as I possibly can. I also love clothes and make up and dressing up and my vanity has also provided the best possible incentive to stay thin - or at least thinnish - so that I can continue to wear and enjoy all of the lovely clothes I’ve collected over many years. I always tell those who accuse me of vanity all of this and it always shuts them up most effectively!

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:57

Themaghag · 12/06/2024 18:55

Like you OP, I use make up every day and have done so since 1967 when I left school. I’ve often been told that I’m vain and on such occasions, I always heartily agree. I am vain and I like to look as good as I possibly can. I also love clothes and make up and dressing up and my vanity has also provided the best possible incentive to stay thin - or at least thinnish - so that I can continue to wear and enjoy all of the lovely clothes I’ve collected over many years. I always tell those who accuse me of vanity all of this and it always shuts them up most effectively!

I bet it does.

Do they also back off swiftly towards the nearest exit?

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:58

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 18:52

Hmmm…

Is that the noise you make when scratching your armpit? 😃

Genuinely, I wouldn't mind someone putting roll on deodorant on, I'd judge them silently for their sticky choices though

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:00

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:58

Is that the noise you make when scratching your armpit? 😃

Genuinely, I wouldn't mind someone putting roll on deodorant on, I'd judge them silently for their sticky choices though

No it’s my “silent judging” noise. Mine is maybe a little noisier than yours …

Megifer · 12/06/2024 19:02

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:00

No it’s my “silent judging” noise. Mine is maybe a little noisier than yours …

As long as its not as noisy as a roll on deodoranted armpit 😥

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:06

Megifer · 12/06/2024 19:02

As long as its not as noisy as a roll on deodoranted armpit 😥

Well it would definitely get drowned out by a spritz of spray deodorant.

Lotsofsnacks · 12/06/2024 19:13

Spottttty · 12/06/2024 06:56

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Just ignore her comments in the future, just stay quiet, then totally change the subject. To be honest I would l nip in the toilets for 2 mins during your luck break and reapply in private anyway, even if your colleague didn’t comment

LlynTegid · 12/06/2024 19:17

One comment fine, others not so in my opinion. I wish you did not feel the need to wear make-up, but that in no way justifies repeat comments.

Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 19:19

Desertislandparadise · 12/06/2024 18:46

Ok, so can you clarify how they are very different? They're things I do on the morning, in the bathroom, to get ready for the day. How is makeup radically different than deoderant or toothbrushing?

Well, I take a shit in the morning, in the bathroom to get ready for the day. Its not the same as doing my makeup.

Chill out for fuck sake. It's so not a big deal. Life must be so easy for you all if this is the sort of thing that gets your heckles up.

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:20

Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 19:19

Well, I take a shit in the morning, in the bathroom to get ready for the day. Its not the same as doing my makeup.

Chill out for fuck sake. It's so not a big deal. Life must be so easy for you all if this is the sort of thing that gets your heckles up.

Edited

Well at least there’s no one pushing to take a shit in the canteen🙄

Spottttty · 12/06/2024 19:21

LlynTegid · 12/06/2024 19:17

One comment fine, others not so in my opinion. I wish you did not feel the need to wear make-up, but that in no way justifies repeat comments.

What's wrong with wearing make up? What if women simply like it?

OP posts:
Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 19:22

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:20

Well at least there’s no one pushing to take a shit in the canteen🙄

Well, that's kind of my point right?

ShouldIbeLeftWithLess · 12/06/2024 19:22

I don't think it's nice of her to mock you at all OP. You have taken it negatively because she is being negative. I'm not sure how best to respond though.

Also very surprised by how many people find this offensive, impolite etc. What a way to walk through life.

SpidersAreShitheads · 12/06/2024 19:22

So let's say we have a man in the same rec room. He whips out a tube of moisturiser and rubs it into his face. And then he gets out some beard oil and meticulously applies it to his facial hair.

OK to do in the rec room or would you expect him to carry out that type of grooming in the bathroom?

Personally, I fall into the latter group. I'd expect him to use the bathroom - as I'd expect a woman to use the bathroom to freshen up makeup.

As a society we operate by a set of agreed social rules and etiquette, and grooming is traditionally been something that etiquette suggests is done in private. It's considered to be bad manners/bad etiquette to get out a compact and apply makeup while in company.

So there's nothing "wrong" with doing your makeup in public, but it seems a bit rude imo. I'd feel extremely awkward if a friend or colleague was doing their makeup sat next to me in public. It's quite a personal act and it's disconcerting if someone is doing it right in front of you.

Also, as you brought the subject up, yes, it does look a bit vain. If everyone is sat there together and you're peering into a mirror to apply more mascara or concealer, then it does look a bit conceited. Do you never use the toilet during the day? Surely you can freshen up your makeup then? And also, who needs to freshen up mascara halfway through the day?! Needing to touch up mascara or concealer after a couple of hours suggests a bit of an unhealthy obsession with appearance.

Having consideration for manners and social "rules" isn't misogynistic.

If you feel comfortable applying makeup in the rec room and don't care what colleagues think then that's fine. It's not an outrageous act. But as this thread shows, plenty of people will feel a bit icky about it. And you might get a reputation as someone who's a bit vain. We all make judgement calls about other people, even on an subconscious level. If you're not bothered, then carry on and address any comments as you see fit.

Calliopespa · 12/06/2024 19:28

Jc2001 · 12/06/2024 19:22

Well, that's kind of my point right?

Yes I think it is - in the same way that standing by the back end of an elephant is flattering to your backside.

butterpuffed · 12/06/2024 19:28

Megifer · 12/06/2024 18:46

I think the difference is deodorant = coughing asthmatic colleagues and toothbrushing = flecks of saliva and toothpaste splattering about on people?

Neither of which is a risk with applying mascara in public.

Saliva and toothpaste splattering about ?!! Only if people mistook a broom for a toothbrush .

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