Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Lipstick is fine? But any other makeup is not?

Fabulous logic😂

Honestly, you really don’t have to look at someone whilst they apply makeup. Really. Save your peace and just look away. It’s not worth getting upset or uncomfortable over.

Why is lipstick fine and mascara isn't?

The truth is our breath is unhygienic.

It’s not the hygiene aspect that is relevant; it’s the fact of prompting other people to notice the process of you getting your body under control.

After the years of battling to be able to breast feed in public, I'm aghast at so many women wanting to shove other women back into the toilets. Why in god's name is putting on mascara the same as picking your nose or scratching your bum? It's just internalised misogyny and you lot need to cop on to yourselves

Or just do it somewhere private. 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s nothing to get upset over either.

Why would you equate feeding a child with grooming? That’s just odd.

I don't want to see men putting make up on either. Nothing to do with feminism.

I think some people have missed the point of the 'picking nose' type comparison. The ops main point initially was that 'it doesn't harm anyone else.' So that's why people are talking about picking noses - it doesn't harm anyone else.

Acne is more likely a hormonal issue. Not caused by applying makeup. The oils from a build up of makeup that hasn’t been properly cleansed can cause breakouts however.

If you remove makeup sufficiently with cleanser and removing the oils from the makeup you’re good to go and allow your skin to “breathe”.

Have you been to the GP to look at “how not to be rude and condescending” treatments?

Because feeding a baby is doing just that: feeding a baby.

Putting on make up is making yourself ( in your mind; views differ) more presentable. It belongs in the category with nasal hair trimming more than it belongs with feeding a young human.

If you don’t feed the baby it will die. If you don’t trim your nasal hair it will look other than you hope to have it look. Ditto making up your face.

Why does it matter ???
No to grooming in public is your position, grooming in public being OK is OP's opinion....no one is right and no one is wrong, it is entirely subjective...as it should be.
Live and let live , worry about things that matter.

And you can “ just look away.”

It's unprofessional to put make-up on at work in front of people.

The exception might be a quick lipstick touch-up if done swiftly and discretely, and without the use of a mirror.

Otherwise go to the toilets to do it. This includes hair-brushing etc. Observing other people's personal grooming - whether hair-brushing or covering up your zits with concealor or combing mascara on your eyelashes - can be really icky to some people, and above all, just isn't a spectator sport!

Ps, I wear make-up to work and carry a touch-up kit for use during the day (apart from when I'm too busy to remember) but would only apply it in the staff loos!

I'm finding it really interesting tbh!

And I'm examining why I responded.

I even spoke to my adult daughter today who is doing an MA in a branch of sociology.

She thinks that female grooming is deeply personal. We're flooded with messages about it from a very young age, and how we respond to those messages says a lot about us, but unless you tell people why you're doing something they'll never know. So OP could be deeply in thrall to the patriarchy and desperate to look pretty. Or she could not give a flying fig and be saying FU, I want to do this and I will! Noone will ever know by watching her take her mirror and applying makeup in public. It's her choice.

Equally, you have no idea how the woman who responded feels about it🤷 her values, her fears, her need to be who she is. What other actions the op does that influence her opinion.

So really neither is being unreasonable, but equally both are. They've both made a very private choice and chosen to make it public. And that's ultimately up to them, but both of them have to accept that if they make their choices public and outside the norm (again, I've never noticed anyone applying makeup at lunch time before, but equally I've never seen anyone blatantly take the piss out of someone who would either) then people will comment.

And OP posted on a public forum. No one told her she was vain. She inferred that herself. There could be multiple reasons the other woman is mocking her.

I don't really think anyone is wrong or unreasonable in this case. It's just a bit of a personality clash.

And yes, it is deeply sad that I have spent all day thinking about this, but I'm supposed to be doing council tax rebate paperwork and it's really boring.

Erm how is mocking someone being polite? Jesus Christ 🤣

I think ops point was the makeup thing isn't harming anyone else.

Otherwise it could get increasingly weird....."well op would you say its ok to bring my pet turd into the office? That doesn't harm anyone else"

You can't just introduce random comparisons into a debate 🤣

Make-up is entirely unrelated to breastfeeding. Really weird comparison.

Op said she puts on a bit of mascara and concealer. How does that fit your dictionary definition?

But pet turd would be random in this context ( and potentially could harm someone).

Nasal hair trimming and make up application are both aspects of personal grooming. I’m not sure what’s so elusive ( or random) about that comparison.

I'll have you know my pet turd, Keith, keeps himself to himself and bothers no one. So as relevant a comparison as bogey covered flying germ filters is to makeup.

Oh, so no comparison at all actually.....poor Keith 😔

Does he have a jar or something homely, or do you just let him roam free?

I mean, roaming free at home is probably ok, but it could be considered a social infringement of others liberties in public...

It doesn’t. This thread is batshit.

This. A lunch room at work is fine to touch up lippy or mascara. Only on MN would it be compared to picking your nose in public !!

Unbelievably women seem to be other women's own worst enemy half the time.

Getting out a mirror and putting on lipstick, mascara and concealer is quite a drawn out affair. You say why shouldn't people do their makeup in the break room. So then why not do your exercise routine? Why not put on deodorant? Why not brush your teeth? I honestly don't see these things as particularly different. They are all things that are good things to do, but generally people keep them out of the public eye.