Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Because it's annoying. Like someone sniffing. Or the radio being on in the office. Or someone in flip-flops making that slapping sound with their feet.

Everyone gets annoyed by different things.

Why are you so bothered by me being bothered?

How much make up have you lost by lunchtime?

I have never retouched up make up. But then again I don’t wear tons of it.

Not everyone is bothered though.

Just look away, its not difficult. Lifes too short to get upset over someone touching their own face.

How though? No one can explain why it is other than “it just is”. So it just isn’t.

She shouldn't be mimicking you making you feel stupid or putting you down but I also get why she would feel your abit vain tbh. I don't wear alot of make-up and no one I know has ever sat at the table next to me re-doing their makeup.

Can't you go to the toilet and do it? I mean it does just feel abit vain and to much interest in how you look. As I say though mimicking you is not on either. Maybe she's abit jealous that you look good.

Ask if she's hinting to borrow some 😂

Because mocking easily becomes bullying. Mocking someone is just pure nasty. If you have something to say to someone, say it.

It also makes 0 sense. Your analogies are daft - should heels be banned incase they make a sound on a hard floor?

Why is it daft? Annoying is annoying regardless of whether it's universally annoying.

Much better, 'Sorry, but some of us have higher standards than others it seems'.

because they’re all part of existing alongside other people. Nice of you to ignore the part about you supporting nasty behaviour.

If you think so.

Never had anyone apply make-up or check themselves out at work other than in the loo so it's never come up.

Happens on trains where I will continue to be annoyed by it, try to ignore it and yes probably eye-roll if my eye is caught. Terrible behaviour I'm sure

"Existing among other people" is exactly why etiquette/rudeness rules are there though. Not imposing on other people in public places usually quite a key one. I don't think make up is all that bad really, it's that 'grooming' is seen by many as an intimate activity that should be kept private (lipstick and maybe a quick flick of mascara is considered not so bad, putting on foundation etc is), but it's why things like smelly food and loud personal headphone noise are considered no-nos on public transport.

Loads of women get out a handbag mirror and reapply lipstick in cafes and restaurants so I don’t see this as any different. I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s not like you’re exposing private areas or spraying perfume round and a rest room is perfectly fine.

So you’re sat in the break room looking at yourself in the mirror and you’re wondering why your colleague implies that you’re vain. Can’t think why.

She's not sitting there gazing at herself for hours though is she? She takes out a small mirror and checks her makeup, sometimes reapplies a bit of concealer. This does not make her Narcissus.

This is such a weird thread.

Yes but how is putting on makeup imposing on anyone? It literally cannot.

To be fair would you say that if you were wiping your butt in the canteen?

I get that that’s a different end of the spectrum but I’m not sure that saying it isn’t her place to dictate is the right attitude. It is her place to point out if you are using the shared space for something inappropriate and lots of people do feel doing make up is a private grooming routine.

Where would you place clipping toenails on the spectrum? Fingernails? Then painting fingernails ? Then painting face ? It all is just one step from the last thing and people will draw the line at a different point.

I wouldn’t do make up in a public space in the office. But either way you’re not vain, just taking a pride in your appearance.

Weirdly before this thread I had never considered how much I dislike people putting on make up anywhere other than in a bathroom or in their own homes.
But I do. For no good reason at all. Might be my issue (and the many other people that feel the same way) but it's a thing!

No one wants to see others’ “personal” grooming.

Some of us don't mind or care, because some of us have more important things to think about than putting down other women just because they happen to have different ways of doing things. I wouldn't even particularly notice if someone was checking or fixing their face in front of me, and I certainly wouldn't expect them to skulk in a (possibly grotty and smelly) toilet to do it like it was a shameful act.

It actually doesn’t matter what OP thinks. If here people find it unacceptable then it’s unreasonable for her to continue.

No one is obliged to tiptoe around the preferences of others. Especially when they're not harming said others with what they are doing.

To pluck an example out of the air, it gives me the rage when people make a sound as they yawn, but do I say so or expect them to stop? No. Because they're entitled to do it and they aren't harming me, merely irritating me. It isn't their problem that it grates on me personally, and I don't have the right to expect them to stop because of it.

Neither has it anything to do with feminism. I doubt any man would get much support for whipping out his electric clippers to trim his beard in public.

I disagree. I think people would regard it as a cute little quirk and laugh about it. But whether I'm right or wrong, the fact that women in this day and age are still sneering at other women and shaming them for giving a damn about how they look does indicate that feminism still has some way to go imo.

So you’re sat in the break room looking at yourself in the mirror and you’re wondering why your colleague implies that you’re vain. Can’t think why.

Are you another one practising custody of the eyes where your own appearance is concerned, then? Crack on if so, but calling other women names for having different practices says a lot about you.

Oh gosh no wonder she's ribbing you. You've got to expect it dong your make up in the canteen 🤣

Is cutting your nails ok?

Get a grip. 🙄

I have no idea who these tight arsed people are saying that you couldn’t possibly put some mascara on in a break room. Have they ever seen the London tube at 7am? Mascara everywhere