Colleague has said I'm vain a few times

[Spottttty]

Well not said it, but heavily implied it. I could understand if I'm going around saying 'Look at me I'm soo beautiful' but obviously this isn't the case.

She's said this because I sometimes put make up on or use a mirror at work at lunch. So what? Like it's not affecting her in any way.
She's made comments about 3 times, I've just laughed but next time I'll say something maybe?

It might just be friendly ribbing as she's nice otherwise but not sure what her goal is. She's someone who doesn't wear a scrap of make up and that's up to her, I'm not someone who can do that and that's just me.

Reminds me of the "it" girls at school always doing their makeup or pouting in a mirror in the school dinner hall/play ground/ before assembly/ before class. It is quite vein tbh. So you just decide if that's a quality you're happy to be associated with yourself. There's nothing wrong with being vein really, you're not hurting anyone.

Hear, hear!!

Great! Glad you've got it. All will be fine now.

This comment is very shaming and unnecessary. No she’s not embarrassed clearly and nor should she be. What’s with the attitude? She was topping up her make up up in a hand mirror like many women do not prancing around in front of it in her underwear!

in a mirror in a bathroom???!! how is that remotely inappropriate. she sounds jeal OP 😊 just enjoy being glam x

If someone laughed at me for doing this I would make sure I always did it in private in the future.

I'm not saying they are right to laugh at you, just that I would take a very simple step to make sure they had no chance to do this again.

Nothing to add OP (sorry) but I don’t really understand why some people are so upset at someone touching up their makeup in a canteen? I could understand if you started clipping your nails at the table (gross) but what’s wrong with applying a bit of powder or mascara?

Personally I’d prefer to be in a bathroom with a big mirror and decent lighting, but I doubt I’d even notice if someone at the next table was doing it. I know people who get weirdly irritated at people doing make up on public transport, too, and I’ve never understood why.

Can someone explain the logic behind this particular issue?

So much judgment from other women on this thread. Shameful.

OP I would just blow your colleague a kiss next time she remarks. To comment 3 times? Sounds like jealousy /pure cattiness to me.

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator

why?

Agree, imagine being an adult 'mocking' someone for putting concealer on and saying looking in a mirror makes them insecure? What an unpleasant individual.

Do you always change your behaviour when someone is nasty to you? They should change theirs.

It’s strange and grim to do any personal grooming - inc concealer and mascara in public relaxing settings. Also where people are relaxing eating food.

things like that should be done in private. Go to the bathroom. A bit of lipstick I could understand, even then I do that in the bathroom but mascara and concealer is odd.

I'm fascinated by this bizarre social rule that half the posters support and the other half (included me) are baffled and amused by. No one seems to really be able to explain why it's so dreadful.

"Common" - well that means commonplace and popular! It's been used in a nasty way in this thread to mean "vulgar" I think but I don't really understand why it's vulgar.

"Performative" and "showing off". Makes no sense. Just getting the job done. Nothing shameful about it that I can understand. Some of us look better with make up (no criticism of those who don't opt to use any). Are we supposed to pretend it's natural beauty by only applying it in deadest secret?

"Unhygienic", "disgusting", "offensive". Again just why? It's not coming into contact with others like flying nail clippings, flossed material or vigorously brushed hair might. Yet there are people in the room eating, yes, opening their germy gobs and shoving in food with fingers or utensils (perhaps they should do so in private cubicles and sterilise themselves before they come out) and tapping away on their filthy mobile screens and then (gasp) touching surfaces! I bet some of these foul individuals even talk in company, allowing their germy breath vapour to seep out into the room.

"Go and do it in the toilets". No thanks, I have no desire to apply make up to a backdrop of sounds and smells of piss, shit and farts, nor do want the fine spray of the toilet flush landing on my cosmetics. Not to mention that I have a bad knee and am uncomfortable standing for any length of time.

"Only applying lipstick in public is acceptable". Why lipstick??? Surely your mouth is the most germ and virus ridden part of your face! Again, makes no sense.

Mocking and mimicking someone IS rude and antisocial. If the colleague objects so much she can make a polite request to OP.

I'm a generally polite and well mannered person but I can and do ignore certain social rules that make no sense. I'll continue to touch up my make up at my desk or on the train if I want to. If anyone doesn't like the view they can look away. I've certainly never been told I'm common, though I've often been accused of being "posh" (I'm not but my speaking voice and education seems to suggest it).

Exactly.

I’d just reply ‘You seem to be a bit obsessed with my makeup routine. Would you like some tips?’ 😂

I would not think anything of someone touching up makeup even though I don’t wear it.
im not sure why it needs to be fine out of sight tbh?
I do think that women do seem to have issues in general with others who choose to have a certain look

You keep mentioning concealer. Are you touching up concealer on your spots? That's not a pleasant thing to see, especially if there's food around.

Tbh I'm really surprised at how many people think it's odd. I don't wear makeup but have seen colleagues on occasion have a quick check/ touch up in our staff room or even at their desks and never thought to comment or think they're unprofessional

I'm firmly in the get a room camp when it comes to this. Everyone pulls a certain face when applying makeup. Mascara especially! I think those faces should be saved for your nearest and dearest.

If I see someone applying their makeup I can't help but stare if they are gurning in front of me. It's fascinating to watch but not in a good way.

I certainly wouldn't subject anyone to my makeup application face and would fully expect close work colleague friends to take the piss if I were to 🤣

my perogative to agree with the other post, ok!!

I'll just come in with a paper bag on my face next time so they don't dare have to encounter my spots.

Why though? What's 'grim' about applying makeup? It has no effect on anyone else at all. None. If it was a case of spraying perfume I could totally get it, but makeup is nothing. You might think the person looks like a tit, but that's really as far as it should go. Get stuck in to your lunch!

"Can someone explain the logic behind this particular issue?"

Will be a number of things.

Women shouldn't make it obvious they wear makeup

They are jealous that others feel fine with this very normal act

They have been brought up to do all lady things in private

they associate makeup with 'private' maintenance like plucking beard hairs

jealousy of makeup brands used?

They are worried a fleck of mascara might jump 2 foot onto a table and crawl onto someones sandwich (so maybe a bit of a germphobe)

Or other good old fashioned jealousy - they may struggle with their looks and makeup doesn't make them feel better so they are insecure when they see others touching theirs up

This

Absolutely!!

It's just a socially odd thing to do. She's making comments when she really means: "You weirdo, do that in the toilet like anyone else!"

Surely you go to the loo to wash your hands after eating before going to your desk, so it's not really a problem.