To not take away the dummy from my 2 year old even though the dentist has advised we do...

[MolI9]

DS has just turned 2 and is a happy little boy.

The item he loves most is his dummy which he has for sleep - we usually let him have it about 45 minutes before bed and just before nap time. It creeps in more when he's poorly and he has been recently.

He has a million cuddly toys and the same one in his cot but is not in any way attached to any of them. He doesn't have another comfort item. He sleeps with a dummy in his mouth and one in each hand.

The dentist has said his teeth look good but we need to ditch the dummy asap as he'll have a gap/over bite. His suggestion was to use the dummy fairy...

I've tried to enforce having the dummy only in his cot as a step towards removing this and we have had the biggest meltdowns. To the point he was struggling to breathe and screaming to go to bed. He has good (and clear) speech and good understanding - he clearly understands his dummy is now only for when he's in his cot and sleeping - but he absolutely wouldn't understand the dummy fairy or the concept of giving his dummies away forever for a toy yet. I'm sure he will do so in the next 6 months or so.

We're also expecting a baby which has made me wary about keeping it and then trying to get rid of it when the baby has one... but I can't face taking it away before I think he's ready! DP feels terrible at the thought of it too.

AIBU to ignore the dentists advice and wait till I think he's more ready? Any advice/suggestions welcome!

You'll have to do it. I did the bottle fairy for my little one as they were on them way too long as I was too soft. You're the parent. You know what's good for them.

Yes yabu .

The dentist has said his teeth look good but we need to ditch the dummy asap as he'll have a gap/over bite

I’m no expert but my daughters gap due was sorted within a matter of months and she’s got very straight non gappy teeth as a 16yr old.

i had a dummy until I was 6 and had a bad overbite. Not sure if that’s why, but my mum said it’s my own fault as I didn’t want to give it up! Lol

YABU as your dentist is trying to help your child avoid braces etc.

Next time your child asks for a toy use it as an incentive but the dummy has to go.

YABU.
It’s medical advice. Would you ignore advice about your own health?

I'd get rid of it before he sees a new baby with one.

He won’t be ready. Just snip the tip of it off so it doesn’t feel the same and he will soon get over it. You will have a few days of tears but lots of positive reinforcement and he will be fine

Or maybe not give the baby one knowing the issues it causes.

3/4 year olds are way more stubborn in my experience- remove it as early as possible. To remove it once he sees a sibling have it will end in tears.

I have worked with plenty of preschoolers who can’t produce speech sounds correctly because of their dummy teeth.

I think it’s better you try to deal with this before you have a second.

Nah ignore professional medical advice, it's not like it's for the good of your child or anything.

YABU

You're trying to justify it to yourself.

YABU. it’s professional advice. And dummies can prevent proper speech development

Take his off him and don’t give the baby one. Parenting is challenging and right decisions are often the harder choices too.

I’d follow the dentist’s advice.

You’re going to have to do it at some point, might as well do it now.

DD was similarly attached to her dummy at bedtime / when sleeping at that sort of age. One night we just refused it and it was an awful bedtime, huge meltdown, took hours to settle her.

Next night was similar but better. Crying, asking for the dummy, but settled more easily.

Third night she asked for it a couple of times but no crying, and settled as normal.

Fourth night, didn’t even ask for it and hasn’t since.

It won’t be easier to get rid in a few months it will just get increasingly difficult , ditch it now and expect to have a few hellish nights but whatever you do don’t give them back .

Agree with @Strictly1

Ditch the dummy and don't give one to the new baby

They told me sucking thumbs led to sticking out teeth. We all did/do it me daughter and grandchildren we all have had perfect teeth.

You do need to get rid of it, and bottles if you're still using them. However, there is nothing wrong with babies having dummies, you just need to take it off them when it's time.

YABU

So so so so so much easier to get rid now than at 3 or 4. When it’s a nightmare.

Just do it. Snip the end off. Don't give your baby one. Few hard days/nights and it will be sorted!

The dentist is trying to help you, they have warned you his teeth will be bad if he keeps it.

Better to take it away before the new baby arrives too and preferably don’t give the ne baby one.

My boy needed braces

probably caused by dummy use.

but it was the only thing that settled him (special needs)

so we took the view that braces later was worth all of our sanity / enabled us to get a little sleep when he was a challenging toddler.

in a perfect world all our kids would thrive on no dummies, sugar free, no tv, eating nothing but organic veg etc etc etc.

but life isn’t perfect

sometimes - you have to do whatever it takes to get through the day - don’t feel guilty about doing what is right for your child. No one else knows them and lives with them.

advice is just that - advice - it’s not a papal decree that has to be followed!

DD3 was still having her dummy only for bedtimes and had an overbite, took her for a routine dentist check up and was told to get rid of the dummy. Took it away that night and her teeth straightened out within a few weeks.