Waste of time holidaying with a disabled person

[justasking111]

I'm really hurt because husband has just said you'll be a nightmare on holiday because you need a new hip. He's sick and tired of dropping me off near our destination and going off to park because it hurts me to walk far.

Our son has invited us to join them on a villa holiday in Portugal. I think husband would prefer to leave me at home.

The thing is I'd be around to watch the children, babysit which husband wouldn't do.

I'd love to be fitter but between my scoliosis and hip issues I admit I'm a bit slow on my feet.

Am I being unreasonable to want to go, my kids and grandkids have no issues.

My husband has sometimes dropped me off where we are going & then parked the car.

No other reason than I'm a shortarse & he can get there quicker alone!

My god that's disgusting tbh. You go and leave him at home!

Leave the joy-thief at home!

My mum has osteoporosis, a bad back and needs a new hip but can't have one because her bones are too soft. She's still coming on holiday with us because we want her to! I can't believe your husband is so unsympathetic. If they're doing something you won't manage then it's an excellent excuse to sit in the sun with a book if you ask me. Absolutely no reason you shouldn't go.

Thinking back every holiday we've ever been on he'd drop me off at arrivals with all the bags and children and drive off to the long stay car park I then had to find a trolley, herd up kids find the right queue to stand in and he'd turn up. At the other end kids and I would wait at the carousel for the bags whilst he walked through to book the hire car.

He did tell me once that it was less stressful traveling solo than with us. I bet it was 🤬

Your son has invited you. Go enjoy his family's company and ignore your husband's attitude. Bell end that he is.

Your husband is a selfish twat. I wouldn't usually say this but I really hope karma bites him on the arse. Anyone can end up with a disability at any time in their life.

Your issue isn’t disability or children it’s your impatient husband. Just do your own thing, tell him you’ll meet somewhere at a set time and definately go on the holiday.

He'll need to learn to wait if you're the one with the passports, money, room keys, etc.

If he wants to stride on ahead, just let him - go at your own pace without worrying about his preference. Its what he does, after all, why shouldnt you? So long as you have the things you need (money, keys, phone, docs, etc).

Leave him at home lol

Op you’ll be fine and great. Dm would never go on a holiday because of how much she’s slowed up, dmil (not in a wheelchair but a lot of issues) just gets a wheelchair where she can and we have amazing fun with her. Ignore your dh, your son wants you to go xxxxxxx

Can you go on your own?
Leave DH behind.

He sounds awful.

Not sure it’s a new hip you need…

YANBU

I’m sure your son would far rather have you there and not his dad! Your husband sounds like a right selfish pain in the bum. I bet he isn’t even good company. I’m projecting my father-in-law here 😜 but I still think they’d love to have you there with them

Sorry to be blunt, but could you get a new husband to go with that new hip? He sounds horrid!

This in a nutshell. He's a veritable prince among men... Not.

I think he is rude. And mean.

I think you need a replacement husband.

He could slow down his walking if he wanted to, he could arrange assistance for you at the airport if he expects you to lug the luggage about, he could help you but he doesn't. I'm sure he'll expect to be waited on hand and foot if he ever needs help. Just go away without the old misery. Let him look after himself and dont answer the phone when he's forgotten how to turn the oven on..

I use assistance through airports. Brain injury caused hidden disabilities and I was too embarrassed. That was until I had a breakdown in departures and they came and rescued me in a chair. I now use them all the time flying and they always push. It's so nice to have the stress removed. I'm also late 40's and use a stick.

Leave husband at home,he sounds a thoughtless twat.

Please don’t dismiss this - take him to a memory clinic and get tested for dementia. It could also explain his lack of empathy / grumpiness.

As far as your holiday goes I’d be asking what the rest of your family honestly think. I holidayed with family member who had bad knees and refused a stick or wheelchair (pride comes before a fall they say) they always put their idea of independence first at the expense of everyone. It’s very hard and I don’t mean to judge but just be aware others and not just your husband maybe wish you were on a self drive scooter.

Assistance at the airport- you don't have him push you they push you! I don't need a wheelchair in daily life, but often the distances in the airport are far, and it would take ages to walk there slowly (even potentially missing the flight, we did last time). I use assistance, it's not odd to use it if you are a slow walker who needs to be leaning on someone- how can they carry all the bags if you are leaning on them? I honestly think you do need to rethink this bit of the journey.

OP, I think you need HRT (Husband Replacement Therapy). Leave the miserable twat at home.

Selfish husband prior to this. You need a medal for putting up with him. My dmil needs a hip replacement and refusing to have one and yes it does effect what we do...I find I often have to keep her company which means more time around the shops and sitting and having cake rather than walking up a mountain....such a pity I can't walk up the mountain isn't it and have to keep her company lol. Dh and fil do the walking up and then mil and dc and I and collect them at the bottom... everyone is happy.....don't tell dh I prefer the little pretty German town shops and cakes...