To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

I calculated it on your behalf using some assumptions - that you're over 25 and have a mortgage. I also didnt take into account any pension. The figures are as follows:

Single over 25 - £393.45
1 child - £287.92
Childcare - £1014.63 (the max for one child)
Total - £1696

Wages - £3053.29 after tax & NI
The first £673 of earned income is disregarded then there is a deduction made of 55p in every £1. This would make a deduction of £1309

£1696 - £1309 = £391 UC monthly

I had 116pm as he paid into his pension heavily.

Then push for share custody. If he has him half the time, he has to pay for those days of nursery. Ridiculous how many dads get away with this.

This!

In that case he should have the child half the time. Surely is presumptuous to say she has to pay the nursery because she wants to work, but HE gets to work full time too, so should not he be responsible for half the nursery bill? We are talking about a defense less child that needs supervised and BOTH parents are working full time. Why should it be her footing all the nursery bill?

My Lordy this thread is weird!
£44k is a good income and above average but describing is as "MASSIVE" and "very high" is ridiculous, as is to say it would be disgusting if someone on that income was entitled to UC. Once FT nursery fees and average rent / mortgage has been taken off it really doesn't leave much.
Google tells me the take home pay could be 2800. So remove 1700 nurses fees and around 800 rent (though it could well be way over 1000) that leaves, what? £300 a month for everything else? How many on here who seen to think the OP is loaded and who earn less are also not getting UC?

OP the system is utterly shite and I'm sorry your ex is a shitbag.

Op is the nursery cost taking into account free hours and vouchers?

I think the point is it doesn’t cover half now. But when your kid goes to school he will still need to pay this, and it will be significantly more than half. So you will recoup it.

That's shit, I also have no idea why you are getting such a hard time either.

My Dad treated my Mum like this and I still think he's an absolute prick.

Same and I'm NC with mine.

@whatnowws how old is your child?

Honestly .. you sound quite angry at posters .

The amount paid is the legal minimum …. If he weren’t a dead beat dad yes he would help pay for nursery but he isn’t .

He has no interest in your Dc .

I think coming to a place of acceptance is a process you have to go through ..

The cms is crap - picks easy targets , self employed avoid playing .

i was one of the £7 a week people is it shit yep , I raised my child alone - it took time to accept his loss and make the most of the time we had .

If you don't see your child you're a deadbeat

She SHOULD be angry at anyone suggesting she is unreasonable.

you can't make someone parent and it would be terribly for the child if you could.

So she should disadvantage herself and derail her career, but he doesn't need to? I can understand why she feels this is unfair z because it isn't

They're not able to work full time generally

And how do you suggest she does that exactly? How does one make someone that’s not even speaking to her or messaging to ask after their child, far less seeing them, take the child half the time?

You can’t make someone take their child when they don’t want to

This

Why not? Firstly because it's morally indefensible and unfair to the OP, and secondly because it stops that money being spent where it is genuinely needed. The State should never encourage third parties to rip it off to finance their lifestyles and pick up the tab in their place.

You don't say what you earn, but using your analogy, let's say you earn £1.5k a month, but your friend is on the dole....would it be okay, if every time you went out together, she expected you to pay for her, simply because your income is HUUUUUUGGGEEE compared to hers?

Honestly, some people seem to be hard of thinking.

The Ex should be paying half of the nursery bill, plus extra for the other stuff on top. I can only presume that CMS don't look at nursery fees and include them within the calculation, because there would be many mothers who would insist on sending their kid to a nursery that's way more expensive than the norm, and how could you hold a Dad accountable for half of that, if he doesn't get input into which nursery is used? Same for clubs that the Mum could sign the kids up for.

However, Op, remember that the CMS figure is the bare minimum he should pay - could you negotiate with your Ex and say "look, we both decided on this nursery, you need to pay your half, plus extra on top for all the other stuff". Would he be open to that?

Good news is that you will be quids in though, once your child goes to school. So that's at least something. But YANBU, of course!

The fact that Sharon down the road only gets £7 a month from her Ex, has no relevance whatsoever. I can't believe that anyone would think that has anything to do with it! Weird!

Why doesn’t he agree 50/50 and pay his 1/2 for his days? Because it would cost him more than CMS for that alone, and be an inconvenience to him perhaps?

I'm just catching up with the thread. Depending on how well you get both get along (I'm assuming you don't) you can use the cm calculation as a starting point as that is the base minimum he should be paying and then ask him for more on top. If you never see him though i can see why this would be difficult to do.

If its any consolation my ex lives with his dad, pays no rent and his dad actually pays him thousands per year to do work on his house. So ex has undeclared income and still only pays the base level. He keeps most of his wages then brags to my sons about how he can afford a lambhorghini. Honestly some people are crass.

OP, you'll get a lot of jealous replies. But what people fail to see if that your outgoing will probably be a lot more than many commenting. So, yes £750 is a lot, but not when you have childcare, mortgage, bills etc.
Saying that, CMS isn't fit for purpose, parents shouldn't be able to hide behind being self employed. And childcare should be considered where applicable, but unfortunately, it isn't.

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to show solidarity.

It's completely ridiculous, but this invariably happens whenever a woman brings up the issue of CMS. If OP had posted on pretty much any other thread saying she earned 44k and it was a massive wage, there'd be hundreds of posters queuing up to tell her how piss poor it is and would barely cover their shopping!

It's completely shit OP! This country looks after the deadbeat dads rather than the poor children that have to go without.
My child gets a pittance. And his deadbeat dad has chosen not to see our child.
My ex is a highly paid professional in his trade and because he owns his own limited company he hides it all in dividends etc.
His other children (who are younger than mine) get everything they could ever want. He's got a mortgage on a massive house and drives the best cars. Dresses in designer clothing and pays our child £90 a month.
I can't prove anything and hd just gets away with it