To be AMAZED at this cms calculation?

[whatnowws]

Recently split from DS’s dad. He won’t communicate or see ds, so after several weeks I contacted cms. They are getting in touch with him but… the claim is for 730 a month?!? He earns almost 80k? How can this be right?

meanwhile, I’m earning 46k and paying 1,700 in nursery costs and all other costs for ds?

how on earth is that supposed to be fair?! This calculation is also assuming he continues not to see ds. If he wants him a night or more then costs reduce further… basically he can do what he wants and I’m expected to pick up the financial pieces no matter what.

My phone died and I’m now unable to edit my post. I meant to say after I said I’d be chuffed to get what your receiving that I still don’t think it’s fair. My career took a massive hit raising our children, especially our special needs child, I pay a mortgage to keep a roof over their heads and for all clubs and activities and what he pays in maintenance doesn’t even cover the costs for one child’s food or clubs per month let alone 4. Dads seem to think as soon as the marriage/partnership is over their financial responsibility ends and CMS seem to do very little to investigate dads that don’t declare their whole income. It awful and unfair, and it doesn’t matter that you’re getting more than me, I feel that the whole system seems broken

You could always give your ex husband full custody and pay a measly contribution if you think you will be better off?

Ps. You are hardly skint and £700 odd a month is a huge amount! My daughter gets £7 a week for her 3 children from her ex!!

Another poster completely missing the point . It's not a race to the bottom.

What your daughter gets is irrelevant, stop bloody posting stuff like this.

Why do you think this deadbeat would want it? Or why do you think the OP's child should be sacrificed on the altar of his shitty attitude? Your standards are in the gutter.

Because she has to work to pay for the rest of her child's needs?

This is one of the most depressing threads I've read for a while. The general acceptance that women should be grateful for any crumbs thrown at them. The quote above was my personal favourite - it reeks of asking rape victims what they were wearing and why they were out alone after dark.

Sorry OP, it's shit. The whole system is in desperate need of reform.

It shouldn’t be a race to the bottom. Men need to be contributing an equal amount of money and effort to bringing up their children.

OP. It’s shit: I’m raging on your behalf

The system can't be made to work against a NRP who doesn't care. You can't make them care, you can't make them parent, and you can't make them pay more than the risible 15% set by the CMS. It's not men, it's not the patriarchy, it's people (mostly men, admittedly) who don't care. The OP could put the child up for adoption, but she won't, because she does care.

I was there, we got through it, somehow, and my adult DC love their father, but think he's a bit of a duck. Seriously, autocorrect?

That sounded a bit glum, but, actually I feel I got the best of it, because I had my lovely DC.

Are you actually joking? Childcare should be a cost borne by both parents.
She works full time to pay the bills
etc

Op, after nursery cost finishes. Be prepared of ex possibly asking for 50:50. Because that is cheaper and children require less care the older they get. Paying 50:50 wrap around care is cheaper than nursery cost.

Never rely on cm payment. Even though it is shit. Cm payments are so unrelayable, that even universal credit stop relying on it. Sorry you ex, is a bad one. Not paying at least 50% of a child you created, is being a bad parentn. Not even seeing the child, makes things worse in my mind.

OP I agree, 'fathers' should be made to step-up. I get nothing as Ex went self-employed to avoid paying anything; he also doesn't see DC, so I have DC 100% & no financial support for DC we both chose to create - it should not be allowed!

Well they bloody well should be

Her income is certainly not “massive”. Especially where she is paying £1.7k a month in childcare: and she probably doesn’t get very much (or any) state help

I’m sorry for all the respondents who have replied with how they are grateful for the bag of crisps the kids get at contact.

CM is a flat percentage of his wages - if he’s self employed then he will be able to decrease the figure that he owes you very easily and legally. Your outgoings don’t affect what you get and you’re right- it’s not fair that you working is seen as a luxury that you should pay for but if you decrease hours and take benefits then you are the scrounger living off your ex. Your ex is only liable for CM

What the fuck? She is contributing to her child. Doing all the work, paying for everything and he isn’t even paying half the childcare

yes; and childcare enables him to work too

That's life as a single mother. Men can Sean off and pay a nominal amount for the upkeep of their children.

Those saying that's a lot. The man is on £80. It's really not a lot

She earns a fraction of what her ex does and gets no UC to help with nursery fees so of course she’s going to be skint.

If your dd gets £7pw then her ex is on benefits- this man is on 80k and should rightly pay for his son.

DF is on a 16 hour week and pays 15% childcare with the state paying the rest.

Fathers pay £150 per month so no where near close.

Drop your hours for a couple of years and you’ll have more time for your child.

While the current system is by no means satisfactory, if you earn £46kpa, per your original post, to receive an additional £730/month is the equivalent of earning £60k pa. Struggling to get the strings on the tiny violin working for that.

This is so true! My ex said.." why should I give you more?! You get enough in benefits"
I could have slapped him in the face (but I didn't)

Oh I completely agree with you op.
It's grotesque that men don't have to pay half of the nursery fees even. The current system is indefensible.

Mine skipped off and rarely saw the children and fiddled his sums to get CMS down so I was left paying the whole mortgage plus nursery fees. There were times I skipped meals. I had nothing after the bills were paid. Meanwhile he lived the high life. I was lucky my work were supportive.

We still lovely memories but it is totally unacceptable

Im not sure why you wouldn't be entitled to UC. You can earn upto £50000 per annum and claim UC as a single person.

It’s always a complete race to the bottom on this topic.