Do you find this comment rude/hurtful?

[Greenwithenvyblues]

I was out with a friend yesterday for a meal. I wore a dress without any tights or anything. She looked at my legs and went “omg you are so pale!! I’d hate to be as white as you” 😳 sorry whattttt! I just laughed because I was shocked. I’m not extremely offended or anything but why would anyone say that? How rude!

I think people forget they're actually talking to a person and get above themselves. I used to work with a woman who used to go on and on about my perfectly average 5 foot 3 height. It was boring and rude.

She sounds hideous

I wouldn't have taken kindly to that comment either .

Some people are just tactless but yes most people would find that hurtful. It is rude to comment negatively on someone's appearance and given the massive increase in skin cancers the continued obsession with getting a tan is ridiculous.

I find it rude. My cousin does the same with me. I'm not actually pale, just average skintone all over. But she often tells me I need a bit of sun or fake tan. Never mind the fact that she looks like an oompa loompa and has terribly crinkly skin on her chest from sun exposure. I'd never say anything about that because I wouldn't want to be rude. I'd just laugh if I were you, and tell her to bugger off. That's what I do.

I agree

Why are you friends?

I hear you! I think I must have chosen poor friends. Throughout my life I have had similar comments relating to my
red face
white skin
thin hair
fine hair
brunette hair
Poker straight hair
grey hair (recent)
short legs
flat chest
big boobs (post menopause)
being too thin
being too fat
lip hair
chin hair
leg hair
dowdy clothes
sexy clothes
big thighs
having children with ginger hair etc etc
I honestly always give people praise and don’t say negative things about people. So I know they are not paying me back. I have come to the conclusion that one thing that can be relied upon in life is that there is nothing like the need of some women to bring other women down and be kind is usually said by those who are not.

My paleness is the butt of all the jokes. If I get my legs out I am told anything from “omg your legs are actually blue they are that white” to “those are the whitest legs I have ever seen in my life”.
So I rarely get my legs out, but then people say “its no wonder you are so white if you don’t get your legs out!”
I can’t win. It’s actually really quite annoying because I just want to be able to wear shorts in the summer but people make me feel so self-conscious.

I actually think it's incredibly offensive. Imagine going up to someone of ethnic background and being like 'omg, I'd hate to be as dark as you'.

I have a male friend who is really pale and our workmates make fun of him for it and I think it's wrong on so many levels. His skin colour is fundamental to his appearance and he's effectively being told his skin tone is undesirable and not appealing...

I enjoy being pale and interesting. I'm guessing this was a close friend and meant as a joke. I have a friend who is fake tan crazy and we often take the mick out of each other 🥛 🍊 jokes.

I don’t understand why people don’t think this is rude. If she said to a black person they were so dark and she’d hate that, people would be up in arms, and rightly so! If you don’t have anything positive to say about her a person’s appearance, you shouldn’t say anything! Beauty is subjective

I would've said I'd hate to be as rude as you! But seriously how old is she? People only tend to put people down like that if they're jealous of you in some way

I had that comment daily growing up and still do now. People are dicks. Realising this is the key to happiness! 🙂

Yeah, very rude. Nasty personal comment. I can’t imagine they’re fun to spend time with.

I'm clearly meaner than others here. I've have picked out the thing she's most self conscious about and said "at least I'm not.... whatever it is".