Do you find this comment rude/hurtful?

[Greenwithenvyblues]

I was out with a friend yesterday for a meal. I wore a dress without any tights or anything. She looked at my legs and went “omg you are so pale!! I’d hate to be as white as you” 😳 sorry whattttt! I just laughed because I was shocked. I’m not extremely offended or anything but why would anyone say that? How rude!

She sounds hideous. Why are you friends with her? I'd ditch her and anyone else who says negative things about you/your body.

Id have gone right back with, ‘ at least my skin can tan, shame to be stuck with that face of yours….’

Watch the reaction and say ‘exactly’, don’t be such a judgemental cow!

I will never get people who think it’s ok to be this pass remarkable!

Absolutely that part is rude.

Then tell her that comment was really rude and ununnecessary and not something a friend says about or to another friend.

I'm afraid I suspect she hasn't changed, you're just not hearing it. Someone doesn't go from joking about how fat and ugly someone is to being their actual friend without a proper come to Jesus moment.

That’s so rude and uncalled for. Perhaps she is jealous of you and trying to make herself feel better by putting you down.

i would say Pale and Interesting.

she sounds tactless and ignorant.

That's rude as fuck! Like you say it's the "I'd hate to be as __ you" part. I'm someone who normally rolls their eyes at everyone being offended about everything too, but that is just plain rude! What a shite.

I’m pale, it doesn’t bother me as such because that’s what I’m meant to look like. But any comment on someone’s appearance is a delicate matter, and to say it in such clearly derogatory terms is an insult. So yes, it was rude and it’s fair for you to be offended.

on the offensive scale this is definitely bottom

but… that’s the reason people should refrain from criticising someone’s appearance . Absolutely no need to!

Of course it's rude.. who even says that and expects a good reaction? A friend asked to borrow a jumper at mine, when I brought one down to her she held it in the air as high as it would go and cried "oh my god it's massive, I couldn't ever get this fat"... speechless I was.. speechless. By the way it was a size 12 jumper. 🤣

YANBU, that was pretty rude, but not something worth getting wound up over. I don't like bare-legging it for this reason; snarky comments about my skin tone. I am quite pale with naturally rosy cheeks. It doesn't help if you're already quite self-conscious about your looks and appearance anyway.

A random person in the street yeah may think odd, a friend no would not even give a second thought

You want to be upset so what is the point of asking?

Exactly this no need at all to say it!

I didn't think it was acceptable to make derogatory comments on someone's skin colour. What exactly is wrong with white skin?

She doesn't sound like a very nice person or good friend.

From what you’ve said about her it doesn’t sound like she respects you or particularly values your friendship.

I'd assume she was jealous. I go to great lengths to avoid even a hint of a tan as I like to be as pale as possible. I'm very envious of people whose skin is even whiter than mine.

I was bullied in the 80's for my celtic skin. It still hurts now. Your friend is a little bitch.

Tell her she upset you.

So rude.

She sounds as if her emotional intelligence/tact is at sea-level. I met a friend of a friend for the first time at the weekend, and while I felt her rhinestone-studded dress was distractingly awful, I managed to keep this to myself for the entire duration of drinks and a meal.

I would meet that with a 'none taken' comment as a shot across the bows but if they were that rude again I'd be less polite. Don't accept that type of rudeness from friends.

Yes, exactly.

I'm extremely pale. I actually really like my pale complexion. I avoid tanning because I burn easily and I never wear fake tan because I'm perfectly happy with the colour of my skin. I've totally embraced it and it suits me.

However, it would still be really fucking rude of someone to comment on it negatively and inform me that they would hate to look like me.

Here are two nice things people have said to me about my pale skin:

"Your skin tone is so pretty, I wish I could carry off that pale English rose look."
"I love your pale skin in contrast to your dark hair - it's so striking."

By contrast, here are two horrible things people have said to me about my pale skin:

"Aren't you going to get a fake tan before you go on holiday? Why not? Are you just going to sit on the beach looking like a ghost?"
"Is it even healthy to be that colour? Are you anaemic, or do you just never go outdoors?"

If people can't see the difference, they're either lying or nuts.

Yeah I wouldn't like that. I knew someone who used to go on about me being pale, short etc. It was wearing and I never saw her in the Miss World line up.

Very rude. Quite bitchy and definitely says to upset you or make you feel self conscious!.

I had a friend like yours. We went out once and I was wearing a new dress and felt great!. She took one look and said "I'd look like mutton dressed as lamb in that outfit". I'm five years older than her.

I find it really hurtful when people comment on the colour of my skin.
I'm pink, there's no two ways about it. It's a very pale pink, but definitely pink. I go red in the sun. I absolutely loath the colour of my skin. It's not pretty.

Sometimes I feel brave enough to wear something without sleeves or get my legs out. Someone commenting saying they'd hate to look like me would be enough for me to just go home and cry.

Agree. With regards to anything, saying it in the way she did is really rude and insulting.