I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

When I bump/scratch the cars I don’t even look. It’s done, nothing I can do about it.

DH once left keys to my 6 month old dream car in his pocket and left his jacket on a coat hook in the gym. Car was gone within 20 minutes.

That is not normal. Grown men should not be exploding over a car.
If he cannot control his emotions there is a deeper problem.

This thread is hilarious. When there are threads about female posters who've bought themselves a treat (like a nice bubble bath thing or a good box of chocs) and their spouse/partner sweeps in without asking and uses it up, there is outrage. But here, the DH is being totally unreasonable for being even temporarily upset that his wife took his brand new very expensive car out without permission and ignored the parking sensors such that they have damaged it!

Obviously at some point, a car is just "a car", but when it's shiny and new and you're still in the afterglow of a big expensive purchase it should be treated with kid gloves really - not with music blaring so you'd you can't hear the sensors when reversing!

All this "oh its just a car" stuff is BS. You can be extremely grateful your spouse wasn't hurt whilst still being pissed off that they bumped your brand new car, especially when it was because they a) weren't paying attention and b) didn't use the safety features!

Obviously if the OP thinks her DH is going to totally lose his shit/abuse her that's not on - there's never an excuse for that. But expecting him to be annoyed by it is (I think) reasonable. If you're worried this is going to trigger and abusive episode, it's not really about the car anymore and you need to think about how to extricate yourself from the relationship.

I'm afraid it's tears time - that always works with mine !

'Major consequences'?
You have not addressed the issue that is most concerning here.
My husband would be annoyed, sure. But he is far more likely to have caused damage himself - he's broken his wing mirror about three times and has had a couple fender benders. It happens. I scrapped the side of the car going around a pillar at a parking garage. No idea how much damage til I looked at it in horror. My husband's reaction? 'Oh dear.'

I would be pissed off with the OP. I’m not sure I believe quite so many of the posters that would shrug it off. She took the new car without asking and then didn’t pay much attention. That’s really poor behaviour really.

Jesus, music must have been very loud to not even hear the sensors!

My dear late dad used to say there's no such thing as an accident just carelessness.

What is the car situation in the household, do you have a brand new car, does he ask you if he can use this. Is this the only car, do you always have to obey him

I would be quite worried if my husband was so scared of me and the 'severe consequences' that he hid a minor car accident and was scheming how to get it fixed without me noticing. I would expect him to get it fixed, but he didn't need to sneak around to do it.

And yes of course it's annoying, but person who caused the damage is probably feeling bad already, what does shouting at them achieve? It's not like they didn't realise car accidents are not a great thing and you need to strongly explan it.

What do you mean major consequences?

I’ve bumped every car I’ve ever owned not intentionally (not proud of this) but my husband only ever says are you ok? Are you hurt? It’s me usually upset and cross with myself.

it’s an object, it can be repaired/replaced.

I think the fact you’re frightened to tell your husband and talk about consequences is a serious worry and suggests your relationship could be unhealthy or at worse abusive.

My dp loves his cars and would quite rightfully be annoyed at the situation. I would probably expect to not be driving the car again.

My dp had once been using my car when damage has occurred (being parked in supermarket and had a lovely looking orange wave going down the side), I was annoyed at the situation, not him.

I have got his car stuck on some building materials on our drive a couple of years ago. It took a while to 'free' the car and needed repairing. I had to tell him as I knew I'd already caused damage by trying to move the car myself. He was annoyed at me for trying to get the car on the drive instead of leaving it on the road. I was in the wrong, he whinged a bit but it's done now! Confess, move on and use your car for future trips!

He now doesn't like me driving his beloved car. If I do need to, I tell him, and vice versa if he needs to use my car but he's always nervous!

I think this is an AI post

OP if it makes you feel any better about your panic - when I was 17 I crashed my brand new car weeks after passing my test. Complete write off and even whilst I was sat in a police car waiting for an ambulance, I considered how I could get it fixed before my Dad saw it!!! 😂

It’s just a piece of metal.

Hope all goes ok telling your husband - chin up! it’s just an accident and easily remedied. I’ve had 2 new full bumpers on my car in less than 12 months from people bumping into the back of me. Easy fix lovely

Exactly!

If it was then here is an AI reply !

Honesty is always the best policy, even though it's scary!

I know you're panicking, but hiding this will likely cause more problems down the line. Your husband loves his new car, and finding out later will definitely make him angrier than if you tell him now.

Here's what you can do:

Talk to him ASAP: Explain you made a mistake while borrowing the car and accidentally damaged the bumper.
Focus on the solution: Let him know you'll get quotes for repairs and see if it can be fixed without affecting the paint job (this can be surprisingly affordable sometimes).
Offer to take responsibility: Show you're willing to pay for the repairs yourself or contribute however you can.

It won't be an easy conversation, but chances are, he'll appreciate your honesty and you can tackle it together.

Here are some additional tips:

Is there a time to talk when he's less stressed? Maybe after work or over dinner.
Apologize sincerely and take full responsibility.
Maybe offer to cook his favourite meal as a peace offering!

Good luck!

I thought others would receive major consequences for this.

What on earth do you mean by that?

Honestly, I’d be really pissed off with you. Not because the car is that important, but because you should be aware of your surroundings and it was just stupid to play music so loud that you couldn’t hear the sensors! If you could see the edge of a low wall as you were turning and just misjudged it, I wouldn’t be cross at all - but not listening for sensors when reversing would make me really annoyed with you.

But “major consequences” sounds somewhat chilling.

Me neither. Nor would I expect anyone to. That’s quite a worrying thing to say I feel.

But “major consequences” sounds somewhat chilling.

When I read that I'm hearing the voice of Bricktop from Snatch.

are people missing that the OP said she would ‘receive major consequences’ and is clearly terrified of her husband? Even if she’s done something wrong that’s not okay.

OP, it would be normal for your husband to be angry about this, but what consequences are you expecting? That part is not normal, and it is not normal to be scared of your spouse. Are you in an abusive relationship? M

No but I was thinking I could call around garages in the morning and then say I’m borrowing the car to go shopping and get it fixed, then he wouldn’t suspect anything

OP doesn't seem to have her own car to use, though in another post say she is fully insured which must be on her DH's policy so surely he must have to claim anyway

Yeah, this.

Of course it's completely unacceptable if the husband is likely to become violent or abusive over this issue. That would never be acceptable.

But all those saying your partner would wave this off and just be glad you were ok? Of course accidents happen in the course of day to day life, but specifically here the OP took her husband's brand new car without permission, drove it carelessly (listening to loud music while parking and not paying proper attention) and damaged it. It's totally reasonable for him to be really cross about that.

Seems as though one of the consequences is a Mumsnet ban!!

Lol 😂

I can't imagine being a relationship where I was scared to tell my OH that I'd had an accident. Where I was scared of his reaction ☹️

I hope you are ok op.