I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

Yes yes yes all of this

Men are always the bad guy on here.

Yeah, there wouldn't have been quite so many "oh, it was just an accident!" Responses had he taken the OP's new car and dented it. I mean, the frothing when a DH washes his wife's cashmere jumper and shrinks it by accident is a sight to behold! He is the devil incarnate and the wife is entitled to be "furious"

Reversing in modern cars (especially expensive ones) comes with sensors, cameras, beeps and other checks. You'd have to be an absolute menace to manage to reverse into a stationary wall cos music loud. You don't sound safe to drive.

Him not allowing you to drive it again makes him look like a controlling twat, its just a car it was an accident and you're not a child

So you know what makes a car really difficult to use? Having it stuck in the body shop being fixed.

Nowhere has OP said how her DH behaved.

Did he shout, did he swear, did he threaten her, did he slam doors, did he throw furniture, did he damage something of hers, did he fume, did he go silent... what?

There's a lot of assumptions on this thread.

Him not allowing you to drive it again makes him look like a controlling twat, its just a car it was an accident and you're not a child

It is not controlling to not lend to someone who previously took your property without asking and then damaged it so carelessly.

I’m not allowed to drive it again which is I think a fair decision.
I will also pay for the damage from my own account rather than our joint account as it will cost quite a lot of money.
my husband was very angry with me which he has every right to be, I made a stupid decision.

It's a fing car. It's not a living thing. It happens Claim on insurance and pay the excess.

I think it's reasonable to be pissed that your brand new car has a dent

Perhaps DH has to treat her like a child when she’s acted like one. Why would it be okay to take something of anyone’s, damage it & ask for advice on how to get away with it? I don’t think marriage entitles you to treat your partner worse than you treat other people.

If you’re that scared of your husband’s anger that you want to secretly get the car fixed, I’m not sure you should be married to him.

Nonsense. It isn't "just a car", it's probably his pride and joy which the OP took without his consent and damaged it at her first attempt.

I would be honest and tell him the truth

and apologise of course

The dent doesn't interfere with the mechanics of the car

I haven't read the whole thread but has it been mentioned that if he'd woken up to find his car gone he could have reported it to the police who, if they'd stopped it, could have arrested the OP for TWOC?

I couldn't be married to a man whose car was his pride and joy

That's completely irrelevant. It isn't your husband's car we're talking about.

It's stuff that I work really bloody hard for. I don't smoke, drink, buy a lot of clothes, stick to a pretty tight budget because I want the nicer car. I've had the same car for 10 years, before that I had little old Fiesta for 12 years. This year I am treating myself. I would be furious and I would have every right to be. The point I was making is, you are assuming he is abusive, what if he's sick of this kind of thing? The OP was quite flippant in explaining why she took the car, perhaps this happens a lot. Perhaps that's why she knew he was going to be angry. You are allowed to be angry when someone takes something expensive of yours, that you haven't had for very long and breaks it.

Of course it's 'just a car'. It exists to take you from A to B. I love my car, but I know it's just a thing. Of course he has every right to be annoyed initially. Then get it sorted on the insurance. Nobody died. Not sure if she is OTT in her worry about his reaction or his attitude is.

Sounds like a power imbalance in this relationship which is never a good thing. I don’t work, husband earns well, still we have cars and lovely things and they are half mine and half his and if I broke them he would shrug and pay for it.
The idea of being scolded like a child and told I couldn’t drive it again and had to pay out of my own money is just awful. That’s something you might say to a teenager who borrowed and damaged a car, not your spouse! This isn’t a healthy relationship.

She doesn’t sound very nice. She took something that wasn’t hers, without permission and damaged it through careless driving.

Not good.

It could have been a child and not a wall.

im so sorry to read your thread and the panic you’ve been in hasn’t seemed normal

no husband should teach his wife a lesson - I hope you’re safe

ask for support if you need it. it’s not nice to be scared in ur own home

It's as relevant as all the other posts saying its just a car, or are you the thread police?

I'd be bloody furious if my DP took my new posh car without speaking then damaged it!!!